He chuckles. “Thirty-three. And you?”
“Eighteen.”
His eyes widen with shock. “Really? I thought you were around twenty-two.”
“Are you saying I look old?” I joke.
He scoffs. “Twenty-two isn’t old. Neither is thirty-three—at least, I mean, I don’t feel old.”
“I don’t feel eighteen,” I admit reluctantly. “I feel both older and younger than that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t have many experiences under my belt which makes me feel young but I’m very much an old soul.”
“You’ll live those experiences. Give it time.”
“This is a big change for me,” I admit. “Living on my own, well with Molly whenever she’s here, getting a job … just being independent. I’ve always had my parents to rely on now it’s only me.”
“Well,” he raises his milk bottle and nods his head toward my can, so I do the same, “here’s to new adventures and flourishing on your own.”
I clink my can against the glass, a big smile splitting my face, because somehow his words have unlocked something inside me. This sure feeling that all those changes I’ve been seeking are about to happen.
“You don’t have to help me with the dishes,” I insist, watching in awe as Hayden gathers everything into his hands, carrying it over to the sink.
He smirks at me over his shoulder. “You cooked. I’ll clean up.”
My breath catches and I hope he doesn’t hear the tiny noise I make. “Let me do it.” I follow him, feeling terrible that I asked him over for dinner and now he’s doing chores.
He shakes his head adamantly. “Just sit down and talk to me.” He shoos me back to my seat.
I shake my head, sipping the last of my soda. “How long have you lived in Tysons?”
“Only since the beginning of summer. I moved from L.A.”
“L.A.?” I blurt in shock. “How did you end up here then?”
He slides one of the plates into the dishwasher. I had no idea domestic household duties could be such a turn on. I hate myself for being attracted to Hayden when he’s nearly twice my age.
“Job offer.” He rinses out the milk bottle and I swear he’s trying not to laugh. I want to be embarrassed over the silly glasses I bought simply because I thought they looked cute, but I know I need to get better about not letting what others might be thinking influence how I feel. “I was … I am a screenwriter. I haven’t had much success lately and L.A. is draining so when I got a job offer, I took it. I thought the change of scenery might be good for me too. L.A. is great for connections, but it can get to you.”
“I’ve lived here my whole life,” I sigh, squishing the can between my fist. I toss it in the recycling and hop up on the counter by the dishwasher, letting my legs dangle. “We traveled a lot and I’m so thankful for that, but I still feel like there’s so much left to see. I guess…” I pause, gathering my thoughts. “I guess I wish I felt like I knew more about myself.”
He starts the dishwasher and leans back against the opposite counter, facing me. His arms cross over his chest, head cocked to the side. “You have plenty of time to get to know yourself.”
I look down at my hands. I haven’t painted my nails in weeks but there are still pieces of chipped red polish. “I guess so. Do you feel like you know yourself?”
He ponders my question and I appreciate that. It’s the worst thing in the world when you ask someone a question that is serious to you and they give you a bullshit answer in response.
“I do and I don’t. As people we’re always evolving from our life experiences. We grow. Learn new things.” He rubs his jaw, wetting his lips. “I’ve discovered things about myself along the way, but there’s still so much I don’t know about myself. I guess that’s the beauty of aging. We’re always evolving.”
I pout my lips, pondering his answer. “I like that. I’ve never thought about it like that.” Hopping off the counter I stand in front of him, tilting my head back so I can fully look at him. He makes me feel incredibly small, like I want nothing more than for him to wrap his arms around me, enfold me in his grasp and never let go.
Emilia! You have to get over this crush! He’s your neighbor and fifteen years older than you!
I’m not very good at listening to myself because I find myself asking him, “Would you want to stay and watch a movie?”
He looks torn for a moment, rubbing his stubble, but maybe he likes my company as much as I enjoy his because he asks, “What movie?”
“Deadpool?”
He grins, eyes crinkling at the corners and dammit if my stomach doesn’t somersault in response. “I’m game.”
Chapter Six
My alarm goes off and I stifle a massive groan.
Technically I didn’t need to set an alarm. There’s no reason for me to get up early, but I know if I don’t, I’ll sleep the whole day away and I don’t want that.
Sliding out of bed I stumble into the bathroom, avoiding the mirrors for the moment so I don’t have to see what a fright I am. I pee, wash my hands, and brush my teeth before tackling the beehive on my head. Smoothing the dark strands back I gather it into a messy bun, because that’s as good as it’s going to get for now.
Padding out to the kitchen I peruse the fridge, trying to decide what I want for breakfast.
Pulling out the carton of eggs I figure I can’t go wrong with scrambled eggs and toast.
I’ve barely finished the eggs when my phone rings with a facetime from my mom.
“Hey, Mom,” I answer, propping the phone up so I can see her while I eat.
“How’s it going? I heard from Martha that Molly came home.”
I sigh, stirring my eggs around with my fork. “Yeah.”
With her mom super powers she can hear the edge in my voice. “I know you’d rather her be there with you, but at least Molly recognized she would be better at home.”
“I know, but I wish she would’ve given it more of a chance. What is she going to do when classes start?”
“I don’t know. That’s something she’ll have to figure out.”
“I love her, but I’m irritated with her right now.”
“And that’s okay. You’re allowed to be perturbed just like she’s allowed to want to go back home.”
“Touché,” I mutter, biting into a piece of crunchy toast.
“I just wanted to check in with you.”
“Things are good. I got a job. I start Monday.”
“Oh, wow! I’m so proud of you. What did you get?” I tell her about the job and Rachelle, conveniently leaving out Hayden because I have no idea how I would explain him. “That sounds fun. I think you’ll enjoy that.”
“I hope so.”
“So how are you feeling? How’s the condo? Do you like it?”
“I’m feeling good.” I don’t tell her, but honestly, I feel better than I have in a long time. Something about being out on my own, while scary, is exhilarating. “The condo is great mom. Seriously, you guys splurged way too much on this. We could’ve stayed on campus.”