Home > Say When(9)

Say When(9)
Author: Micalea Smeltzer

Flopping down on my bed I grab one of my pillows, hugging it to my chest. I can feel my anxiety mounting—the fear that I’ll never figure out who I am and discover what it is I want to do in this world. The last thing I want is to be stuck doing something I hate or that I settle for.

Hopefully I’m self-aware enough to not let that happen, but complacency is where dreams go to die—but what happens when you’re not sure if you even have a dream?

 

 

Chapter Five

 

 

I wake up to another lonely day.

Heading over to the campus I work out in the gym for an hour before coming home, showering, and making breakfast.

It’s incredible how slowly time passes when you’re by yourself.

Sitting down on the couch with my laptop, The Addams Family Values—my favorite movie—plays in the background.

Reluctantly I log in to my email, my heart skipping a beat when I see a response waiting from Rachelle. I take a second to brace myself for the worst before opening the email.

Skimming over the email I get the biggest smile.

Emilia,

I don’t think your schedule will be an issue at all and I believe you’ll be a good fit as my assistant. Are you able to start Monday?

-Rachelle

I type back instantly, hoping my excitement does bleed through too much, letting her know Monday is perfect. I’ve barely clicked send when my phone starts ringing.

Leaning over I peak at the screen and find Molly’s name flashing at me.

I almost don’t answer, but that would be unnecessarily mean even if I am irritated with her.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” she sighs on the other end. “How are you?”

Is she seriously calling me to ask me how I’m doing?

“I’m fine?” I don’t know why it comes out as a question.

“Oh, okay. Good. That’s good.”

Wiggling against the couch cushions, I ask, “Did you need something?” I instantly wince at my bitchy tone.

“No, no. Just wanted to check on you.”

“Well, I got groceries and a few home things yesterday. I’ve already worked out today, showered, made breakfast, and gotten a job, so I’d say I’m doing pretty good.” I try to interject some pep into my tone so that I don’t sound utterly sarcastic, because honestly, I’m doing better than I expected in her absence. I guess being forced to be completely alone might be a game changer for me.

“Wow, you’re … wow.”

“How are things back home?”

“The usual,” she sighs. “Mom is cleaning the house from top to bottom. I’m pretty sure I caught her scrubbing the bathroom tiles with bleach. And Dad is playing golf.”

Then why aren’t you here?

“All good then?”

“Yeah. I … Emmie, I’m really sorry for leaving. I wish I wasn’t like this. I’m sure I’ll get more used to staying there once classes start and it won’t be such a big deal.”

Pinching the bridge of my nose I give myself a second to gather myself before I remind her that she didn’t even try. Spending one night at our new place hardly counts.

“I hope that will help you.” Even though your best friend living with you wasn’t a motivator at all.

“Well, I just wanted to check on you. I miss you.”

My heart pangs. “Miss you too, Molls.”

The call ends and I toss my phone beside me on the couch. I want to hold on to my irritation and anger at her, but I really can’t be mad. If I’m honest with myself I was expecting this sort of outcome with her. Change is difficult. Some people handle it better than others, and some, like me, fake it until we make it.

I startle when there’s a knock on my door. I glance toward it suspiciously. It’s not like I know anyone here—

Hayden.

Setting my laptop on the coffee table I get up, doing a quick once over to make sure my clothes are decent. My sweatpants and Mickey Mouse shirt aren’t the cutest, but at least I’m covered.

Swinging the door open I find Hayden standing there like I expected. He’s dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt that stretches over his muscular arms and chest. The man is jacked. He could probably easily bench press my weight and then some.

“Hey, did you need something?” Surprisingly enough my voice comes out steady and not squeaky or nervous at all despite the fact that this man intimidates me—not in a way where he scares me or anything. I guess if I’m honest with myself I find him extremely attractive and that’s where I feel intimidated. I spent most of middle and high school avoiding boys, so my experience is limited. A few sloppy kisses and one horrendous date don’t exactly make me an expert on this sort of thing.

He holds up an envelope. “This has your apartment number. It was in my box.” His lips curl into a smile. “I think it’s junk mail, but I didn’t want to toss it since it’s not mine.

“Oh, thanks.” I take it from him, red crawling across my cheeks because I totally forgot to check our mailbox. Granted, I haven’t been here long enough for it to pile up.

“You’re welcome.” He watches me, his smile twitching with amusement and I find myself becoming embarrassed because I can’t be that entertaining. “How did it go with Rachelle?”

Thankful for a distraction from my extreme awkwardness, I answer him gladly. “It went well. I heard from her today and I got the job. I can’t thank you enough for the connection. I think it’s going to be a great fit for me.”

He clutches his mail in one hand, the other sliding into the pocket of his jeans. “I’m happy to hear that. Rachelle is a great person.”

I know we can’t stand here and talk all day, but I find myself not wanting to say goodbye. It could be the fact I’m stuck by myself, or perhaps it’s him, but I’m craving company.

“Look,” I blurt out before I can talk myself out of it, “you probably have a million other better things to do, or a girlfriend to visit, and the last thing you want to do is hang out with your weird awkward neighbor, but would you want to come over for dinner?” The words tumble out in a rush. “As friends, of course, technically acquaintances. It’s just there will be plenty more for another person and—”

He starts laughing. Full-on head tilted back belly laugh. I’m sure I look like a tomato, but I stand tall and don’t close the door to cower.

Recovering, he still smiles, small lines crinkling the corners of his eyes. “You’re adorable.” He shakes his head, and I cringe because I’m not sure I want to be called adorable by a grown man. Kids are adorable, women are … beautiful, captivating, stunning. “Dinner would be nice. God knows I’m sick and tired of cooking the same five meals over and over.”

“You … You want to come over?” I stammer, flabbergasted that he’s accepting. In the span of ten seconds, I’d already prepared myself for rejection.

“Yeah, dinner will be nice. The company too.”

And. Then. He. Winks.

He fucking winks.

At me.

I think my heart starts beating a hundred miles an hour. Maybe not that fast, but certainly fast enough to out race a horse in the Kentucky Derby.

Hot Books
» House of Earth and Blood (Crescent City #1)
» A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire
» From Blood and Ash (Blood And Ash #1)
» A Million Kisses in Your Lifetime
» Deviant King (Royal Elite #1)
» Den of Vipers
» House of Sky and Breath (Crescent City #2)
» The Queen of Nothing (The Folk of the Air #
» Sweet Temptation
» The Sweetest Oblivion (Made #1)
» Chasing Cassandra (The Ravenels #6)
» Wreck & Ruin
» Steel Princess (Royal Elite #2)
» Twisted Hate (Twisted #3)
» The Play (Briar U Book 3)