There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, but I rolled my eyes and left Rose sitting there on the porch anyway. Then I played soccer with my child, at least until he got tired of me and demanded the pizza party that Auntie Emma had promised him.
“Seriously?” I put my hand on my hip and raised an eyebrow at him playfully. “You’d rather have a pizza party with Auntie and Gigi than hang out with me?”
He cocked his head to the side, just like his uncle did, and pursed his lips together while he thought about it for a second.
“Yes,” he finally said, sounding way too serious. “I spend every night with you, and Auntie Emma needs me right now. Her and Gigi need cuddles.” With that logical answer, he marched into the house and came back out a few minutes later with his backpack.
I watched him cross the front yard and stand on the sidewalk before turning around. “Snap to it. Time’s wasting and I’ve got cookies hidden at Auntie’s house.”
Rose laughed and started down the stairs to Nox, but Emma stayed at my side. “I ate those cookies already. He’s gonna be sorely disappointed that I found his stash … in my freezer. His name is Benton Mays, and he’s my law professor. I’ll shoot you a text with a picture of him so you know what he looks like. Remember, Flame at seven p.m. tonight.” She only repeated herself so I wouldn’t be able to say I forgot.
I waved them off and suddenly felt very nervous. My phone went off immediately with a text, no doubt from her. My teeth were practically chattering in my mouth from the stress, and the drive to Bangor two hours later did nothing to calm my nerves. If anything, I was worse off than I had been before.
Parking at Flame wasn’t an issue, especially not in the gray Prius that I’d had for the last five years. But getting out of the car, well, I didn’t know if I could do that. My hands were clenched around the steering wheel, and my heart wouldn’t stop thudding painfully in my chest. I could already feel the migraine setting in.
You can do this, Parker. Just give it a chance.
Danny’s words suddenly filled the car around me, and I was taken back in time. To another night when I was overwhelmed.
“You can do this, Parker,” Danny repeated while he grabbed my hand and took it in his, hope shining in his eyes. “Just give me a chance to make up for what happened. I’m going to be deploying, anyway. I want to make sure that our baby is taken care of. And we can get a divorce when I get home.”
His blue eyes shone bright that night, sitting in the front seat of his truck. I felt like I was about to throw up, and it didn’t have anything to do with the pregnancy.
The tears started to leak out of my eyes, and I pulled my hand away from him, trying to curl into a ball. “I don’t think I can.”
At seven weeks pregnant, we were running out of time to make a choice. A choice that Danny had stripped away from me in the first place.
“You know I don’t love you, Danny. It wasn’t supposed to be this way… It can’t be this way.” I screamed and cried in my mind, trying to erase that night every single time I closed my eyes.
The sad smile on his face threw me off, in complete contrast to the excitement I saw shining in his eyes, and for a moment I was afraid of Danny. “It wasn’t supposed to be me. You mean me, Parker. And I know that. But it is. I promise, I won’t hurt you again. Just … give me a chance to make this right? I can make sure that the baby and you are taken care of this way if anything happens while I’m overseas.”
I swallowed down every bit of doubt and nodded. “Okay.”
That’s right, Parker. Danny’s voice filled my head as I remembered that I wasn’t actually sitting in his truck, but in my own car, in a completely different time. You can do this. You can do anything. I’m so sorry for everything I put you through.
Great, my dead husband was giving me a pep talk about going on a date with a complete stranger.
My life was a wreck.
10
Parker
Rose hooked me up with a hot guy. There was no other word to describe him. Benton Mays might have chosen to be a college professor, but my first impression of the man was that he must get hit on by all of his students. I swore and thought about leaving before he saw me, but then he stood up with a broad smile on his face.
When he walked away from the table toward me, the way he moved held me transfixed. And even though he was gorgeous, there was something missing. His brown eyes seemed dull, and the tattoos on his arms weren’t nearly as bright as Remy’s were. He wasn’t quite as tall, either.
When the fuck did I start comparing men to Remy?
I shook my head slightly and put a smile on my face, although I’m pretty sure it came across as a grimace.
“Hi…” My fucking voice betrayed me, barely a squeak.
I didn’t even know what to expect. Was he going to shake my hand? Hug me? In the two seconds it took for him to jump into action, my entire body started to sweat. At least I was wearing my favorite pair of jeans and a loose-fitting blouse, because there’s no way in hell I’d be able to hide sweat stains on anything else I owned.
“You’re gorgeous.” He didn’t eye me up and down like I thought he might. Instead, Benton’s eyes stayed glued to mine, and for a second, I saw an entirely different life.
One I hadn’t chosen by making a reckless decision, where I laughed, lived, and loved in an entirely different way. One that vanished when I blinked, and I was once more in this life.
“Thank you,” I managed to say. “I’m Parker.”
He laughed, a deep and soul-filled laugh. “I know. You look nothing at all like your sister or mother, though. And just a little bit better than the photo Rose showed me. I’m Benton. Benton Mays.”
The small light of happiness at his compliment fell behind the simple fact of why I didn’t look like Emma or Rose, but I chose not to tell him. To save the night and enjoy the first bit of fun I’d have with someone who didn’t know my entire sordid history.
“It’s nice to meet you, Benton.”
“Now that we have that out of the way, let’s eat. I’m starved.” He guided me back to the table and pulled out my chair like a gentleman.
Everything about Benton screamed gentleman, even if the muscles bulging out from under his dress shirt and the tattoo that snaked out under the rolled sleeve onto his arm screamed of all the naughty things he’d do to someone in bed. What surprised me most of all, though, was the fact that I actually enjoyed myself. Especially when I’d been prepared for the date to crash and burn before it even started.
“Excuse me.” The waitress appeared at my side, and I turned my attention away from Benton’s description of one of his students’ poor excuses for not finishing a research project to see her holding out a Bloody Mary with an awkward expression on her face.
“I didn’t order that.”
The expression on my face had to be frozen, because she set the drink down and subtly nodded in the direction of the bar.
“Looks like maybe you’ve got an admirer.” Benton laughed, completely throwing me off guard.
Clearly, he and the waitress could see something I couldn’t.