Val seemed content.
Well, mostly. She got a lot of hassle from her parents, which I know wasn’t fun for her. We’d both stayed at the Fairchilds for Christmas and my mom joined us. Mom and I were more than a little uncomfortable when Caroline chose Christmas Eve as the ‘perfect time’ to give Valentine shit about her future. I thought Val’s head was going to explode with rage. Thankfully, Jim stepped in before I did and asked Caroline to promise not to say another word the entire holiday. However, it hung in the air between mother and daughter; the awful tension.
That wasn’t why my palms were sweating as I made my way across town to Valentine’s crappy apartment. The apartment I wanted to get her out of but knew I never could because one of the many reasons I loved her was her a thousand-mile-long independent streak.
Nah, my palms were sweating because Mom had given me a big kick up the ass on Christmas Day.
* * *
Handing Mom the rinsed plate to put in the dishwasher, I tried to think of something to say. We’d offered to do the cleanup since Caroline and Jim had cooked. Valentine looked ready to offer to help us out but her mom had shaken her head at her. It was a not-so-obvious attempt to get me and Mom alone.
It wasn’t like we hadn’t been alone over the last two years. But every time I tried to speak, the well of shit that bubbled up inside of me just kind of choked me.
“Caroline’s too hard on that girl,” Mom whispered.
I gave her a sharp look.
She smirked. “Yeah, I know. Those in glass houses, right? I know I’m not in the position to judge, but…” she glanced over her shoulder to make sure we were still alone. The Fairchilds had retreated to the family den to watch Christmas movies. “I once was Valentine. The kid among the over-achievers who just wanted to experience life first. She’s got more grit than me though. I can see it in her eyes. She’ll be okay. But Caroline needs to ease up or she’ll lose her like my mom lost me.”
Unease niggled at me because I knew Mom wasn’t wrong. “Hopefully it won’t come to that.”
“Hopefully.”
I moved to hand her another dish.
“She’s in love with you, you know.”
The dish slipped between my fingers, but Mom’s reflexes were fast and she caught it before it crashed to the floor.
Mom gave me a reassuring smile. “You really didn’t know.”
“Valentine?” I leaned heavily against the counter.
I didn’t want her opinion to give me hope, but… I couldn’t help it.
“You should tell her how you feel.”
She knew I loved her back? “What?”
Mom covered my hand with hers. “Sweetheart, you two couldn’t be more obvious if you tried. And yet, neither of you seems to recognize how the other feels.”
“Obvious?” Did the Fairchilds suspect?
It was as if she was a mind reader. “Caroline sees only what she wants to see, but I can tell Jim knows. He just doesn’t know how to feel about it.”
“How can you tell Valentine feels the same way?” I could barely hear anything over the pounding of my heart. I’d spent a year and a half at college trying to distract myself from the girl I’d left behind. Sometimes it felt like it was working. That distance was helping. But I couldn’t let her go. When I had time, I’d check in on her in the city and we’d spend all day together. Then I’d find myself back at square one. Fucking pining for her.
“The way she looks at you. The way she lights up from the inside out when you walk into the room. You make her feel good about herself and I don’t think many people in her life make her feel that way.” Mom squeezed my hand. “I’m so proud of the person you are.”
Emotion thickened my throat. “Thanks.”
“Don’t waste a moment of your life. Not like I did. You need to tell her, kid.”
Guilt pierced me. “They helped us. Both of us.”
She knew I referred to the Fairchilds. Mom frowned. “Yeah, they did. And I’ll be forever grateful for what they’ve done for you in particular. But that doesn’t mean you owe them your happiness. So what if you and Val dating makes them a little uncomfortable at first? They should feel lucky as hell to have you being the guy sharing their girl’s life. And they’ll eventually come around when they recognize what a good thing it is.”
* * *
So there I was. On my way to tell the girl I loved, I loved her.
It had taken me more than a few weeks to work everything out in my head. Until I realized I was wasting time overthinking everything. Mom was right. I owed the Fairchilds. But not my happiness. And not Valentine’s either.
Today was Valentine’s Day.
It was a little cheesy, but I thought how one day, looking back, it would make my Valentine smile.
As scared as I was, excitement and anticipation moved through me. We’d take it slow. It would be really fucking difficult not to throw her on the nearest bed after wanting her for so long, but we had to do this right. Dates and getting comfortable in a new reality together first. Sex later.
Scowling at the broken building entrance, I made a mental note to talk to her landlord later and hurried up the three flights of stairs to Valentine’s apartment. Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, I hammered my fist on the door before I could talk myself out of this.
Not hearing a thing, I deflated.
I should have called her first.
But I could have sworn that this was the day she worked customer service for the internet start-up, which she did from home.
Maybe she was on a call.
Shit.
Deciding this was too important not to interrupt, I knocked again.
Finally, I heard movement beyond the door. A few seconds later, the door whipped open and there was a guy standing there, scowling, wearing nothing but a pair of jeans.
He looked like he was in his mid-to-late thirties.
He also definitely looked like a guy who’d just been interrupted having sex.
Star’s boyfriend?
“Can I help?”
I bristled at his tone, wondering where the hell Val was. “Yeah, I was just looking for Valentine, but I guess—”
“I’m here, I’m here!” I heard her call from the back of the apartment.
My heart plummeted to my stomach as she suddenly appeared beside the older guy. She’d thrown on a dress, but there was no disguising her flushed cheeks or messy hair.
Fuck me.
It was like someone had stuck a knife in my gut.
At my silence, Valentine flushed. “Sorry, introductions. Micah this is Dillan. Dillan, this is Micah. Micah is a family friend. Dillan is…” she looked up at him, her lips twitching with amusement.
The bastard smirked down at her. “Dillan is late for work.” He gave her a quick kiss and disappeared down the hall out of sight.
I stared at Valentine, trying to mute the betrayal that was seething through me.
Because she technically hadn’t betrayed me and I would be a hypocritical bastard if I tried to say she had. In my efforts to get over her, I hadn’t exactly been a monk since we’d met.
We stared at each other, the silence awkward and awful.
Then the bastard returned, fully dressed. He kissed Valentine, longer, with tongue, until I wanted to rip his fucking head off. “Later, baby.” He scooted past me with a knowingly smug expression, and I clenched my hands into fists at my sides to stop myself from lunging at him.