“Chicken okay?”
“It’s perfect. It’s so juicy. You’ll have to show me your secret. I’ve been guilty of slow grilling things until they’re cardboard.”
“You’ve got to sear it.” He took another bite. “You go back to work Monday?”
Tessa nodded. “I have a daycare lined up. They encouraged me to bring Hallie there a couple of days this week for a few hours so she can get used to the environment gradually, but I can’t imagine just handing her over to a stranger.”
“I’m sure, but she’ll be fine. These people are trained to take good care of the kids.”
“Yeah…but she’s just a baby.” And the thought of leaving Hallie had Tessa looking ready to cry.
Fuck, that expression hurt him. “You’d rather stay home with her.”
“I wish I could, but…” She pasted on a brave smile. “I’m not the first working mom to face this choice. And it will feel good to be back in the office.”
After that, she went quiet again, and he wished he could think of some way to make her smile.
Once they’d finished dinner and before the sun fell, he suggested a walk around the block. He wasn’t used to sitting around this much, and he was half convinced the fresh air would do Tessa good. And since Hallie seemed ready to nod off again, the cool wind in her face might keep the baby awake a while longer.
So they left the dishes and fetched the stroller, taking a few laps around the neighborhood until dusk crept in and Tessa shivered with the encroaching wind.
Inside, she gave Hallie a bath, then hopped in the shower herself. As Zy had last night, he did the dishes. When Tessa and the baby emerged, clean and ready for bed, the three of them passed a few hours with mindless sitcoms and an occasional game of peekaboo with Hallie.
Zy was used to quiet, solo evenings at home. He didn’t like bars unless he was playing a competitive game of pool. But this sort of night in was different. It wasn’t his usual empty silence broken only by a canned laugh track. It wasn’t still except for his own footfalls over his floorboards as he paced. And thank fuck it wasn’t his crappy motel with its cheap, cookie-cutter furniture. Despite the baby things strewn around the living room, from blankets to burp cloths, this felt real. It felt like a home.
He’d never really had that.
By nine thirty, Tessa looked ready to nod off in her recliner, so she stood, cradling Hallie. “Guess we’re heading to bed. She’s been awake for a few hours. Thanks for your help. Hopefully, she’ll sleep tonight.”
“I hope you both will.” They needed it. “But if you need anything, let me know.”
“Thanks. I’m just happy Cash hasn’t seen fit to show his face again.”
Zy was almost disappointed. He had a few words to he’d love to say to the asshole. “Night.”
She entered her room and slowly eased the door closed between them. “Night.”
Her whisper hung in the air as the soft snick told him she’d shut herself in. As soon as she was gone, the sound of the TV beat at his brain, so he shut the noise box off and killed the lights. Then he settled onto the sofa with a blanket, his pillow, and a sigh.
What was Tessa doing now? Had she tucked Hallie in, then stripped down before climbing into her lone bed? Was she wishing he was beside her? What would she do if he was? If he reached out to touch her? If he kissed her? If he took off every stitch she wore and slid her body beneath his?
Funny how he’d arrived at her place a mere two days ago, wondering how long he’d have to stay before he could start looking for a place of his own. Now he was reluctant to leave. But if he didn’t, he knew what would happen. He wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off Tessa, especially since he was almost sure she wanted him, too. Hour by hour, the unspoken awareness between them grew. They were a ticking time bomb of suppressed desire. If he stayed, how long before they exploded?
In the dark, he stared out the living room window, seeing nothing. Hearing nothing but his own rough breaths and accelerated heartbeats, which could only be because he knew Tessa was just one closed door away.
He closed his eyes and forced himself to focus on sleep—until the sounds of a baby fussing jolted him awake.
With a groan, Zy swiped his phone off the nearby table and looked at the time. Quarter till two in the morning.
Eyes closed, he lay on the sofa, listening to Hallie’s whines gather steam until she began to wail. Moments later, quiet fell again, punctuated by baby moans. Hallie must be eating. At least he thought so until she started crying again. This time her squalls were sharper, alternating between anger and distress.
He scowled as twenty minutes turned into thirty, then forty. He listened, his concern growing as the baby began howling in earnest at the hour mark.
Something was wrong.
Zy hesitated—something totally unlike him. Stay and let her keep her privacy or go in and help?
He still hadn’t decided until he heard another sound between Hallie’s bellows. Tessa was sobbing.
And that decided everything for him.
Shoving off his blanket, he jackknifed to his feet and headed for her bedroom door. Grip on the knob, he paused, but there it was again, the sound of Tessa’s tears as she quietly fell apart.
He didn’t wait and he didn’t knock. He just shouldered his way into the room—then stopped short when he saw her.
Sitting in the glider in the corner, Tessa gasped and blinked up as he barged in. Tears fell from her tired eyes as she held a railing Hallie against her chest. Tessa crying was like a kick in the chest.
“What can I do to help?”
“N-nothing. I’m fine.”
The catch in her voice said she was lying. “Bullshit. What’s happening?”
“Hallie is just fussy and overtired. She roots around for me like she’s hungry, but she just ate. I can’t seem to calm her down, and I don’t know what else to do. I feel like I’m screwing everything up.” Tessa wiped away her tears. “But I’ll figure it out. Sorry to wake you. Go back to sleep.”
Was she kidding?
“Did you change her?”
“Just a few minutes ago.”
“And she’s not sick?”
“No.”
If the baby was full, dry, and healthy, then Tessa had done what she could. Zy couldn’t stand to see her suffer anymore, and she damn straight didn’t need to carry the burden alone.
He crossed the room to her. Even in the moonlight, he saw her stare—clinging, confused, and worried.
“What are you doing?”
“Give her to me, Tess, and go to sleep. I got this.”
“You? What do you know about babies?” She clutched Hallie tighter, which prompted a higher-pitched wail from the baby.
“Admittedly not a lot, but maybe she can sense your exhaustion and upset. Maybe I can calm her. It’s worth a try.” When Tessa bit her lip in indecision, he set out to soothe her protective mother instinct. “I’ll stay in this room, in that chair right next to you. You get back in the bed and rest.”
“But—”
“No buts. You and Hallie are both wrung out. I’m awake, and I can’t do any worse.”
This time when he reached for Hallie, Tessa released her squirming little form into his arms. The baby gave a startled fuss, then fell silent when she caught sight of him, big eyes going wide. Another whimper came, followed by a wail. But he ignored that and pressed her against his bare chest, his hand enveloping her back, her face near the warmth of his neck.