I’m not sure if I should stay here or book a trip and go somewhere—far away from all of this madness. I don’t even know where to go though. Maybe I’ll call Becky and Greg and pay them a visit. There are three loud knocks on my door. The code.
“Blake?” Aubry shouts. “Are you sleeping?”
I cleared my throat. “Yes,” I shout back.
“Let me in,” Aubry says firmly.
“Go away, Aub.”
“Cole’s on the phone. He needs to speak to you.”
“Tell him to go fuck himself,” I say brokenly. “Or Erin,” I mutter under my breath. I try for angry because I should be angry that he answered the phone like that, he should have known how much it would hurt me, but I’m too lost to feel anger.
“He says he’s sorry. He’s begging you to talk to him. Blake, I don’t have all day. I have a date. I can’t be playing messenger.”
“Don’t then. Tell him I’ll call him tomorrow. I need to be alone right now. Please.”
I hear Aubry relay my message to Cole as he walks away. I hear him walk back to my door a couple of seconds later, and he knocks again. This time I get up and let him in. When he looks at me, his face falls. He wraps his arms around me and holds me as I slowly let myself fall.
“What happened? Is it because of whatever Cole is apologizing for? Or did you have a nightmare while you were napping?” he asks concerned.
“No, it’s not him. I had a nightmare while I was awake,” I say, sniffling back my snot.
“Oh. You mean you’re remembering things?”
“No, I mean I’m living them,” I say with a trembling chin as I wipe my tears. “I went to the attorney’s office today, and I found out some things I can’t talk about. On top of that, Shelley left me a key to a safety deposit box, more money, more land, and a letter. I haven’t been to the box, but the letter pretty much says that my life is a lie. She wasn’t even my aunt,” I choke out the last words and Aubry pulls me into a tight hug.
“Shit. That’s...fuck...I’m sorry.”
“I’m so scared, Aubry,” I say hoarsely.
“You’ll be okay, Cowboy. I’m with you. We’re all with you,” he says, kissing my cheek lightly.
“That’s what scares me,” I whisper.
Chapter 6
Past
I was doing well my first year of high school. I had joined the cheerleading squad; it was the closest thing to dance that the school had. I had been dancing since I was five when Aunt Shelley started taking me to classes, and I missed it. Becky was also part of the squad, so I was glad that we had something to bond over. I liked my new home with Maggie, Aubry, and Cole. They made me feel like I belonged. Becky had already warned me about Cole and his womanizing ways—as if I needed a warning about that. Anybody that stepped within five feet of Cole could smell it on him. He may as well have a scent made named Gigolo. I’d lived with him for three months, and although he stopped hitting on me after the first month, I’d witnessed twelve girls walk through the doors of the house. Twelve. That was one for each week that I’d been here.
In the beginning, it really bothered me. I wasn’t sure if it was because it meant that I no longer had his attention or because the girls he hooked up with annoyed me. It was probably both. The worst part was I wasn’t even interested in him. Well, that was a lie—I may have been a little interested in him. As hard as I tried to fight it, it was hard not to be drawn to him. He was magnetic. When he was in a room with you, he consumed you. When he left the room, you mourned the loss of his presence. I knew I wasn’t the only person that felt this way. I had him in a couple of my classes in school, and when he got in trouble and was sent to the principal’s office, everybody acted like they lost a pet. The girls pouted and whined, which annoyed the shit out of me. The guys complained to the teacher and slumped their shoulders.
It was an odd thing—Cole’s presence. As much as I would have loved to avoid him, he was like a pneumonic plague. My lungs didn’t fully function when he was too close to me, and I think he knew it. I’d never been to an actual school before this year. I thought it would be scary, but the things I learned through Becky and the guys helped me get over my fear. I knew there was a “cool” crowd, a “nerdy” crowd, an “outsider” crowd, and a “theatre” crowd. It seemed like there was a crowd to label everyone.
I didn’t even know what crowd I was in really. Becky, Greg, Aubry, and Cole hung out on their own but were also in the cool crowd, so I guess by default I ended up there. I didn’t fit in that crowd at all though. I was more comfortable with the nerdy or outsider crowd. I didn’t like the people in the cool crowd because sometimes they treated some of the kids in other crowds like shit.
Homecoming was around the corner, and everybody started asking their dates. I was putting my books in my locker for the day when I saw someone lean against the locker beside me. I looked up and noticed Justin’s blue eyes watching me as he hitched his red backpack higher on his right shoulder.
“Hey, Justin, what’s up?” I asked as I continued to figure out what books I needed to take home.
“You going to the dance this weekend?” he asked as he reached over and stilled my hands with his.
I stopped putting my books away and tilted my head toward him, giving him a tentative smile. Justin was one of the most popular kids in school. He was your typical all-American boy next door, a senior, and played two sports. No doubt he had a date to the dance already.
“I’m not sure,” I mumbled, trying not to give away the fact that nobody had asked me to go.
“Will you go with me?” he asked. I looked at our hands when Justin squeezed them slightly.
“Umm...sure,” I replied, smiling hesitantly.
“Great, I’ll pick you up on Saturday then,” he smiled, showing me his perfectly straight white teeth.
“Okay,” I smiled back brightly. When Justin walked away, I looked back into my locker and bit down on my lip to stop from giggling like a maniac. I couldn’t wait to tell Becky about this.
When I got to cheerleading practice that day, all the girls on the squad were acting like he had proposed to me. Sasha—one of the cheerleaders in my grade—kept going on and on about how she had gotten to second base with him already and what big hands he had. I tried my best not to pay attention to that. For some reason, it made me panic a little. I hadn’t even kissed a guy—let alone run through any bases with them. I hoped Justin wasn’t expecting me to do anything with him. I didn’t mind kissing him, but I wasn’t interested in doing anything more.
When I told Aubry about going to the dance with Justin, he told me I needed to be careful. Greg said the same thing and told me he’d heard some bad rumors about him. Cole begged me not to go as Justin’s date. He said—and I quote—“You can be my date. I already told Cindy I’d go with her, but we can all go together if you want.” What a jerk. Really, who says that? I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to slap him.
I had on a sheath silver dress that stopped a little bit above my knee. Becky applied minimal make up on me and fixed my hair so it was down yet out of my face. I was examining myself in the mirror one last time when I heard the doorbell ring. I let out an excited squeal yelled goodbye and flew down the stairs. I opened the door and smiled brightly at Justin, who was wearing a tuxedo. He gave me a once over before handing me a lilac gladiola.