Thump. Thump. Thump.
It was so loud, I wondered if Killian could hear it. My legs trembled, feeling weaker than ever. I worried they’d give up under me and I’d end up taking my vows on my knees.
When it was time for us to speak our vows, the priest gestured for us to hold hands. Killian grasped mine in his, shocking me – he was willingly touching me. I knew it was for the audience and the cameras flashing behind us but my skin tingled, even though his touch was barely a graze.
“Killian Spencer, do you take this woman to be your wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her–”
“I would like to repeat my vows in her ears, solely for my wife,” Killian interrupted.
The priest smiled. “Of course. Vows are meant to be intimate and there’s nothing more special than whispering your love in your beloved ears.”
My body went cold, my heart jumping to my throat until I almost gagged. If I knew Killian as much as I did…
My lungs clenched.
Killian shifted closer; his head lowered so that his lips were closer to my ear.
The pressure on my chest grew unbearable. His breath feathered across my veil and the hair on my bare arms stood at attention.
The priest started the vows again, but his words were drowned out as my heart echoed while Killian’s voice rasped in my ear. His own cruel version of our marriage vows.
“Killian Spencer, do you take this woman to be your wife, to live together in matrimony–”
“I vow to spend the rest of my life making you regret what you did to Gracelynn.”
“… To love her, to honor her, to comfort her, to cherish her…”
“To hurt you, to break you… and to hate you for the rest of our days. I will never be your protector, never your defender; I vow to be the villain in your story.”
“… And to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?”
“In health and in sickness, through sorrow and pain, for all the days in my life, I will be your worst nightmare.”
With my beating heart bleeding at our feet, Killian pulled back then straightened to his full height. He towered over me, while his dark eyes grew darker and the corner of his lips pulled up in a vicious smile.
“I do,” he said, his voice strong, but lacking any warmth.
The priest turned to me. “Julianna Romano, do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?”
I met his gaze without flinching. I had no need to change our vows because while Killian was marrying me for vengeance, I was marrying him for a whole different reason.
This was my way of seeking… salvation.
“I do,” I repeated Killian’s earlier words.
“… Till death do us part.”
My eyes closed. “Till death do us part.”
It barely even registered to me that we were already exchanging our rings; my thoughts were scattered as the cold reality of this situation finally sank into my veins.
“…I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
His jaw tightened and I swore, the look in his eyes was deadly. I watched in horror as Killian took a step back.
The silence that followed laid on my skin like poison, sinking under my flesh and paralyzing me as Killian walked away.
Leaving me at the altar.
I watched until he was completely gone, until even his shadow disappeared.
There were no whispers. No cameras flashing.
Nothing but silence.
The priest made a strangling sound in the back of his throat. My father looked absolutely murderous while William gave me a bitter smile.
He came forward and grasped my hand, bringing it up so he could kiss the back of it. “Welcome to the family, Julianna. I’ve always wanted a daughter,” he said smoothly, as if his son didn’t just leave me – his new bride – at the altar.
He turned us toward where everyone was seated. The small audience – only around twenty guests – cleared their throats and gave me tentative smiles.
“I present to you, my daughter-in-law, Julianna Spencer.”
They clapped, as if this was some joyous moment to celebrate, but it was all so fake and I was sick to my stomach.
Julianna Spencer.
My new name.
My new beginning.
Yet it was nothing but bitter.
CHAPTER THREE
Killian
I twirled her around and she threw her head back, laughing. There was just something about her laugh; the way she was so soft and carefree. And I knew that laugh was only reserved for me.
I remembered the first time I met her. She had been watching me as I prepped Coal for a ride. The horse had been enthusiastic and it had felt her presence before I did.
Gracelynn.
My Grace.
“How do you want our wedding to be like?” I asked, pulling her closer to me. She fell into my arms and her smile turned… wary. It always did whenever I brought up the topic of our upcoming marriage.
Her lack of enthusiasm or the look of caution on her face was making me nervous. Was it possible she was having cold feet?
Or maybe she wasn’t ready to get married yet…
“Something simple,” Grace said, looking thoughtful. “But beautiful.”
I grasped her jaw in my hand and smokey grey eyes met mine and fuck, she intoxicated me with the madness in her gaze. There was just something in it.
So many secrets.
So much pain.
Loneliness and fear…
There was just something in them that screamed, don’t abandon me; keep me together.
“Do you want this marriage, Grace?” I asked and then the urge to kick myself was strong. Why torment myself with such a question, to give her an easy way out?
But as much as I wanted Grace as my wife, I needed her to want this as much as I did. My bride would come to our room at her own will and not because it was her duty to warm my bed.
Her eyes widened at the question and she grasped my hand in hers, squeezing with her all her might. Her chest rattled with a shaky breath. “Of course, I do! I always dreamed of my wedding and you – before I even met you.”
Thank fuck. “Why do I feel like there’s a but in there?”
Grace swallowed. “We still have so much to learn about each other.”
“I’ve been courting you for six months and we still have four months until our wedding.” I ran my fingers down the length of her white-blonde hair. The color was so light, her hair was almost a platinum white and silver shade that illuminated her round face. It made her grey eyes pop. “Plenty of time for us to still get to know each other.”
Grace was transparent, which meant she was a bad liar. Her eyes were the mirror to her heart and soul. They never lied, and today, they held such heartbreak in them – I could have drowned in them, like some mindless lover.
She came up on her toes and her lips brushed along my jaw, before they finally landed on my own waiting lips. A whispered kiss.
“Is there something you want to tell me, Grace?” I rasped into her mouth.
Her arms wrapped around my neck and she pulled away from the kiss, before burying her face into my throat.