I guess in the end, it doesn’t really matter. Either way, the guys aren’t going to send me in there alone, and I can only be grateful for that. They have way more experience with this shit than I do, and if I wandered into Jackal territory by myself, I probably wouldn’t make it out alive. With their help, the odds are significantly more in my favor, even if they’re still pretty fucking bad.
There will only be four of us against who knows how many Jackals, and at this point, I’m starting to wonder if the sick feeling in my stomach is ever going to let up.
But there’s not a lot of time to sit around dwelling on it.
“We have to act fast,” Sloan says, echoing my thoughts. “We don’t know how long the Jackals will keep Alex alive. Especially if he doesn’t talk like they want him to.”
Rory nods. “Then we need a plan.”
“And a fucking good one,” Levi adds.
“Come on.” Rory jerks his chin toward the door. “We better get started now. Every second we waste is a second we lose.”
The two of them turn to head downstairs, presumably to start coming up with the amazing plan that’s going to get us all out of this alive. I watch them go, trying to calm my nerves and recapture the feeling of determination that surged through me earlier.
Sloan lingers for a second, standing there in the doorway once Rory and Levi pass through it. He looks at me, and I stare right back, caught up in his eyes.
My pulse races, hammering in my chest. Just being around him is enough to set me off right now, especially when we’re alone. Just a couple hours ago, he was fucking me in the woods, and now I don’t even know what to say to him.
Making progress with Sloan is such a one step forward, two steps back kind of deal—only it feels like every step backward ends up making things worse and worse.
I open my mouth, even though I’m not quite sure what I’m going to say. What I should say.
“Sloan, I—”
“I’ll be downstairs,” he says, cutting me off abruptly. “You should get dressed.” He turns quickly, putting his back to me, and then walks out.
I stand in the middle of the room, listening to him head down the stairs to join the others. For just a second, I’m rooted to the spot, but then I force myself to move.
Someone’s life is on the line, and I can try to figure out what the hell is going on with Sloan later. For now, I do as he said, going to my dresser to choose something to wear.
I opt for dark clothes, things that seem like they’ll be the best for some kind of tactical mission. I pull on some black jeans that are loose enough I can move in them, but not so loose that there will be any hanging fabric for someone to grab on to. I pair that with a black long-sleeved shirt that hugs my figure. I throw on some dark colored shoes that are comfortable and good for running and tie my hair back into a ponytail.
Once I’m dressed, I head back to the bathroom to retrieve my dirty, stained clothes from the floor. As I bend down to pick them up, my phone falls out of the pocket of the jeans. I forgot that it was on me since I sent that message to Paul all those hours ago.
I press the button on the side to wake it up, checking the screen. There are several missed texts from Scarlett, and it hits me that she has no idea about any of this. She doesn’t know about my father being alive, or about Sloan trying to kill me. There’s so much she’s out of the loop on, and I’m not sure what I can tell her.
I text back quickly, letting her know I’m fine and just hanging out with the guys tonight.
It’s mostly a lie, and I hate the feeling that twists through my stomach as I hit “send.” Scarlett is my best friend, and it kills me to not be able to tell her everything, even if it is for the best.
As I shove my phone in the pocket of my black jeans, I have to wonder if this is what Sloan felt like. Is this a part of why he’s been so fucking surly lately? Because he had to hide things from his friends and he hated it?
It’s got to be lonely at the very least, so that might have had something to do with it.
I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that I can see the situation from his perspective now, and that’s one of those spiraling series of thoughts that I just don’t have time to dwell on right now.
There’s too much else at stake. So I shove thoughts of Sloan and what he might be thinking away again and head downstairs to join the others.
4
When I get downstairs to the living room, the guys have already set up a mini command center. They all have their laptops open on the coffee table, and Levi’s fingers are flying across the screen of his phone while he texts someone. There’s a map of the city open on Sloan’s laptop, and Rory has a notepad in front of him with some items written in a list, several of them crossed off with red ink.
For just a second, I hesitate, not sure where I fit into this well-oiled machine they seem to have formed. But then Levi scoots over to make room for me on the couch, and I settle in beside him, leaning forward to see what they’ve already done.
“We still have people out on the streets,” Rory explains, bringing me up to speed. “Trying to see if they can track down where the Jackals went. We’ve got some informants too, and they know we’ll pay them well for information. If anyone sees anything, they’ll report in, and we can act on what they give us.”
I nod along, peering at the map on Sloan’s screen. Fairview Heights is pretty fucking big, and the Jackals are a widespread group, just like the Black Roses, so it seems like it won’t be easy to track down Alex. In fact, it’ll be difficult as fuck, especially if no one has any leads.
“We need a solid sighting before we can head out,” Levi says, finally looking up from his phone. “We don’t want to be running around in circles all night.”
“Which is exactly what they’d want us to do,” Rory puts in.
“We can have two teams,” Sloan says. “Or more if we need to. Hit multiple locations at once.”
“But if Mercy is the one who’s supposed to find him—” Levi starts.
“Finding Alex has to be the priority,” Sloan interjects. “We’re the main team, and Mercy’s with us, but we can’t wait around if someone else gets there first.”
Levi looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn’t. Because Sloan’s right. The plan has to be focused around whatever is going to get Alex to safety the quickest, no matter what that means.
Rory changes the subject easily, and I’m grateful for it. “We’re going to need to be prepared. It’s not like the Jackals will just hand Alex over if we ask nicely.”
While they talk, it hits me that they’re openly going over their plans and discussing insider Black Rose business with me sitting right there. There are no code words or little glances that mean they’re trying to hide something from me. They’re discussing everything freely, and including me so that I’ll know exactly what they’re doing and thinking.
It’s strange. The barriers between us have come down even further now, even if it’s for all the wrong reasons. I was hoping to get to this point by playing on their emotions and feelings for me before—and somehow, just by everything blowing up in my face, I’ve achieved the goal I set for myself at the beginning of all this.