Chapter 1
Alex
I grimace as I toss a wad of lube-drenched paper towels into the wastebasket near the bed, joining the condom what’s-his-name deposited in there not two minutes ago.
The sound of the running sink from the bathroom shuts off, and the door swings open a few seconds later, just as I’m pulling my t-shirt over my head.
“Listen, bro, I have to work early…” he’s saying before he’s even all the way out of the bathroom, stopping mid-brush off when he sees that I’m already dressed and looking around for my shoes. No, bro, I wasn’t planning to stick around to cuddle, unclench and breathe.
I spot one of my shoes laying upside down at the foot of the bed, the sheets askew, reeking of cum and sweat. The smell of it lingers in my nose as I hastily slip on my shoes. The clock on his nightstand says it’s only nine. I’ll still have plenty of time to study tonight, which is the silver lining of guys who take no effort to get into bed and then finish like it’s a race.
“Thanks for the ride,” I say flippantly, patting his broad, hard chest as I saunter past him, the same chest I braced myself against while I rode him like Seabiscuit and nearly broke his bed frame.
“If you want to hang out again…” He leaves the words hanging in the air, forcing me to pause for a fraction of a second in the doorway to give him an apologetic half-smile. Funny, the offer only came once he knew I had no problem leaving as soon as the fucking was complete.
“I know where to find you,” I assure him, even though the chances that I’ll call are less than zero. Actually, no because negative numbers still exist. The chances of me calling are the square root of negative one, they don’t exist.
As I climb into the Uber waiting out front for me, a melancholy feeling settles into my chest. By tomorrow Chad or Chet or whatever the fuck his name was will be nothing but a blur in my memory, one of the many men I’ve had fun with over the last few years.
Early on, there was a feeling of power in that, taking what I wanted and then walking away without a backward glance. But that feeling is more of a dull echo now, leaving me to question why I’m still repeating the habit long after the results have changed. It’s illogical, and that in and of itself should be enough reason for me to stop.
“This you?” the driver asks, jarring me out of my musings.
“Yeah. Thanks.” I tip him and hit the five star rating on the app and then hop out of the car.
I reach into my pocket as I head up the walkway and curse under my breath when I realize I forgot my keys, again. However, the bonus of having a roommate for the first time in my life is that there’s someone inside the apartment who can let me in. I had to become very friendly with my neighbor at the place I rented last year so I could buzz him when I needed to get in. Then, I made the stupid mistake of fucking him. Let’s just say that Theo moved to town and needed a roommate just in time.
I hit the buzzer and a minute later, the intercom crackles to life.
“Forget your key again?” Theo guesses, his deep voice sounding tinny through the speaker.
“I’m told my forgetfulness is charming,” I offer, grinning even though he can’t see me. The sound of his chuckle is cut off by the buzz of the door unlocking.
I jog up the steps to the second floor and kick my shoes off as soon as I get inside.
“Thanks,” I call out over the sound of the TV coming from the living room. My roommate startles me by emerging from the kitchen instead.
“I thought you were supposed to be some kind of genius,” he teases, holding a bowl of popcorn, a relaxed, half-smile on his lips, his dark hair messy like he’s been napping, and his soulful brown eyes half-lidded. Did I mention my new roommate is a straight up smoke show? Because, yeah, he’s bangable. Not that I’m going to go there. Nope, because that would be stupid, and as he pointed out, I am in fact a certified genius. No bad decisions happening over here, not a one.
“I’m so busy thinking impressive thoughts, I can’t be bothered to remember my keys,” I deadpan, even though it’s a little true. More often than not, I’m caught up in my own head, which causes me more trouble than it’s worth.
He shoves a handful of popcorn into his mouth and then nods toward the living room. “I was about to start a movie, if you wanted,” he offers tentatively.
I glance at his bowl of popcorn again and then toward my room. I should study so when my mom calls tomorrow, I won’t have to flat out lie to her about how I’ve been spending my time.
But here’s the thing, I know rocket science is supposed to be hard, but maybe I just haven’t gotten to those classes yet. So far, it’s math and physics, both of which I mastered years ago. Last year, before the start of my PhD program, I got all the books I would need to complete my degree and memorized all of the necessary formulas within a week. They could hand me my diploma now and save us both a lot of time.
I tried pitching that one to my advisor; she wasn’t impressed.
“It’s Event Horizon, sci-fi, horror, and a whole lot of ‘what-the-fuck?’,” he tempts, holding the bowl of popcorn out to me.
“Dammit, that combination is my Kryptonite,” I complain, snagging a handful of popcorn for myself and heading straight for the living room. You know, horror/sci-fi/what-the-fuck movies and cute guys with brown eyes.
Theo
I follow Alex to the living room, munching on popcorn as I go. I should probably slow down, or I’ll finish it all before I even get the movie started. On the other hand, I recently learned the very important life lesson: if I want something, I’d better go for it before my brother, Pax, swoops in and fucks it. Or eats it in this particular case.
Not that I’m salty about the whole my brother stole the guy I’ve crushed on for years thing. Besides, it’s not like I ever got around to telling Elijah or Pax about my feelings before they went and fell in love. It’s all a moot point anyway. What’s done is done, and the bottom line is that I’m going to keep wolfing down popcorn like it’s my last night on Earth because popcorn is officially my one and only love. Popcorn can’t break my heart; it’s foolproof when you think about it.
Alex settles onto the couch, and I plop down next to him, reaching for the remote and starting the movie. Neither of us says a word as it starts, both reaching into the bowl of popcorn and taking large handfuls, our shoulders bumping against each other on the cramped couch. Even without any words being exchanged, I feel a little bit of tension start to unravel inside me simply at the fact that I’m not spending the whole night alone.
I had enough of being alone back in New York after Elijah moved out here to California. The entire reason I agreed to having a roommate, aside from the sky high rent prices issue, was so I wouldn’t have to sit alone in an empty apartment every night. Not that I begrudge Alex whatever kind of social life he wants to have, but the sound of the buzzer when he got home might’ve been my favorite sound in the world.
He snorts at the movie, and I glance over to find him grinning with amusement.
“Whoever wrote this knows jack shit about black holes,” he says, shaking his head.
“That’s what he said,” I quip, and Alex laughs.
“Wow, that was mature.” By the smile on his face, I don’t think it’s a complaint.