Ivan felt his brow furrow in his irritation. “Of course.” All Ivan’s kisses would always belong to Winter, even after Winter moved on. Winter shuffled closer. Ivan didn’t close his eyes until Winter’s lips swept his. As much as Ivan wanted to keep their kiss sweet, he couldn’t live without one final kiss that Winter would remember. Ivan held Winter’s face and sucked Winter’s tongue before nipping at his bottom lip. He put his heart into their kiss, and when he walked away, Ivan didn’t look back. He wanted to remember Winter as his laughing boy. Ivan couldn’t think he might be leaving Winter worse for having known him. One day, Winter would thank Ivan for setting him free. It was the right thing to do. If Ivan loved Winter, and he did, then Ivan couldn’t tie Winter to such a possessive and likely unhealthy relationship as the one he would have with Ivan. Ivan would never be less intense. It was ingrained in his DNA to be over the top in everything he did. Winter deserved a softer touch with someone closer to his age. Ivan would always do what was best for Winter. The best thing for Winter wasn’t Ivan. It was time to let his obsession go.
Five
Winter trailed from the bedroom to the living room before heading to the kitchen to check his empty fridge for the hundredth time. His life was every bit as quiet without Ivan as Winter feared it would be. His first night sleeping alone had been a nightmare. He had tossed and turned before finally giving up. Winter had ended up surfing the web all night on his phone. He was exhausted, but then again, he wasn’t. It was like his brain itched.
Giving up, Winter headed for his bedroom and changed for work. In the back of his mind, Winter knew he skirted the real issues plaguing him. Ivan hadn’t called or texted. By five thirty tonight, he would know the truth. At five thirty, Winter would know if they were really over forever.
The walk to work felt hotter than usual. He had gotten so used to the cold that Malibu felt almost intolerable. One of the biggest reasons he had stayed at Silver Taproom beyond seeing Ivan every day was how close the place was to his apartment. Winter didn’t need a car. He had broken a sweat by the time he came through the door at Silver Taproom, making him consider maybe it was time to break down and buy some sort of vehicle. Winter looked around the place that had led to him meeting Ivan. The bar he had spent a majority of his time inside of the past two years didn’t feel like a second home anymore. Still, Winter tied on his apron and got to work.
As the clock crept closer to Ivan’s usual time of arrival, Winter’s nerves frayed a little more by the second. His gaze kept finding the clock and shooting toward the door every time it opened. By five twenty-nine, his heartbeat pounded in his ears. Each breath he took came harder than the last. Five thirty felt like the longest minute in his entire life, and then it was gone. The ache that had been building in his chest grew with each passing minute, making Winter wonder if he was having a heart attack. The pain of realizing he truly had been a fling made everything else harder to tolerate. Winter noticed everything he had ignored in the past. His coworkers didn’t really talk to him unless they were asking him to do something. They didn’t even seem to notice he had been gone for a month. At six ten, Winter broke. Without a backward glance or clocking out, Winter walked away. He couldn’t stay, knowing Ivan was right across the street and Winter would never see him again. Maybe he had been a fool for accepting Ivan’s offer. It was very possible he had never been more than a rich man’s toy. Winter definitely wasn’t the least bit sophisticated and couldn’t blow off Ivan as a winter-time affair. He put his heart into everything, and Ivan had stolen it. Then Ivan had broken it. Winter didn’t know how to live with that.
For hours, Ivan listened to Zander talk about numbers and expansion plans for his Vegas location. He wrote some notes to remind himself to check on permits and make some calls to get tax liens cleared on a few of the smaller properties they had acquired and planned to tear down. Zander was extraordinarily good at scooping up bankrupt businesses nearby to capitalize on the property. He made Ivan’s job easy and everyone around him richer than they ever dreamed. Still, Ivan’s mind was with Winter. Working was second nature. His job rarely required his full brain power anymore. Ivan wanted to be with Winter.
“Okay. Jesus fucking Christ. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Ivan blinked at Zander’s sudden outburst. “What?”
Zander leaned back in his chair and gathered his long blond hair between his hands before securing it in a rubber band, as if irritated by its length. He looked imposing as hell behind his gigantic oak desk and flanked by two bodyguards. Ivan had known him too long to be intimidated. Zander made an impatient gesture. “You’re always grouchy, but today, you’re choking the life from the room with your brooding. What in the hell is going on?”
Ivan shook his head at Zander’s outburst. “Nothing. Please continue.”
For a moment, Zander stared at him in silence. His icy blue eyes seemed to cut into Ivan’s soul. “What’s happened?”
Fuck. They were like family. Ivan couldn’t stop himself. Words simply spilled from his lips like a bursting dam. Ivan spared no details. The more he talked, the more he said. It was like he had been hit with a diarrhea of the mouth curse. He didn’t stop until he had given every detail and everyone in the room sat forward in their seats, riveted by the juicy details of his life. Silence followed his story, making Ivan fight the urge to squirm in his seat.
He couldn’t take it. “Well, say something.”
Zander blinked a few times before responding. “Sorry. I was running some names through my head, trying to find a new lawyer. I can’t possibly continue to employ such a complete dumbass.”
Ivan fought a growl. “Why did you ask if you only planned to be ridiculous about it?”
“I was joking. At least about the new lawyer part. I don’t have time to break in anyone new. But I was completely serious about the dumbass part. Really, Ivan. What’s wrong with you?”
At Zander’s question, Ivan seriously considered leaving. He couldn’t, so he treated the question like a genuine one. “I’m fifteen years older than him and I love him enough to recognize I’m too hard and controlling for him.”
Zander made a dismissive motion. “Age is nothing. This guy walked away from his entire life without a single complaint to be with you. I know twenty guys off the top of my head who would kill for that sort of commitment.” Both of Zander’s bodyguards nodded furiously, making Ivan’s temper grow. Unfortunately, Zander wasn’t finished. “As to being hard, it sounded to me as if he’s into that. So here’s what you’re going to do. Go downstairs to a few of the hotel’s high-end stores and pick him out a few gifts, on me, of course. Then get your ass in your car and go get your man back before I have you killed so I can find this poor guy someone who isn’t a pussy.”
Ivan blinked. He wasn’t entirely sure Zander was kidding. After all, on the down low, all casinos were mafia owned. There was a reason two bodyguards always flanked Zander.
Still, Zander’s demand sucked the bleakness from the room. Zander ordered Ivan to be with Winter before it was too late. He couldn’t disobey a direct command from his boss, right? Not if he wanted to live anyhow. A smile snapped to his lips. Honestly, Ivan didn’t need much of a push. He wanted to be with Winter. Ivan had to make that happen.