Winter had never met anyone as severe as Ivan. He didn’t how to react. They didn’t feel like a fling in that moment. A warmth spread through Winter’s chest. He belonged to Ivan. The backs of his eyes stung. He had been tossed away so easily by his family. For years, he had been alone and unwanted. Abandoned. He felt... something.
“Say you’re mine, Winter. I need to know you understand that.”
With his throat swollen with emotion and his eyes filled with tears, Winter choked out the words. “I’m yours.”
As Ivan claimed his mouth and cried out his pleasure around their entwined tongues, Winter held on for dear life. Logically, he knew Ivan had only been caught up in the moment. Ivan didn’t know how his actions made Winter feel like he wouldn’t be alone again. He recognized all that on an intellectual level, but his heart didn’t. Winter’s heart felt full and hopeful. His emotions were all over the place as Ivan’s kiss turned sweet and loving. The terror struck last, making Winter’s arms tighten their hold on Ivan. He didn’t want to go back to being alone. Winter wanted to cling to the fantasy life Ivan painted. He needed Ivan’s possessiveness to be real. Winter wanted to be Ivan’s man. He prayed it could be true.
Three
Ivan had always been an early riser. It didn’t matter how late he stayed up; he couldn’t sleep past six-thirty. Since Winter worked nights, Ivan imagined he probably slept late. That was fine. The extra time gave Ivan a chance to watch Winter sleep. He was always peaceful. In fact, that was one of the many reasons Ivan looked forward to seeing him each day. Ivan felt like he could breathe when he was with Winter.
He couldn’t stop thinking about last night. Not the sex part, which had been off the charts with Winter teasing him into becoming controlling. Ivan couldn’t stop thinking about the way Winter had looked at him when Ivan had staked his claim. Winter needed him. He hadn’t made the choice to come here with Ivan on a whim. Winter wanted a life with Ivan, too. They were equally alone in the world. Ivan would make him happy. Keep him safe. He would also spoil the fuck out of Winter. Christmas was a good day to start.
Ivan rolled from bed and padded down the stairs. While Winter slept, Ivan made breakfast. It was a wild assortment of fruit, yogurt, donuts, eggs, and bacon. He had no clue what Winter liked. Ivan also made hot chocolate. At the last second, he added a candy cane to the drink for some holiday spirit. A smile touched his lips. This was the first Christmas in more years than he could count that he actually looked forward to the day. Before he could grab the tray of food, Winter’s arms encircled him. Ivan’s eyes fell closed as Winter’s lips brushed his nape.
“You ruined my surprise.” Even to Ivan’s ears, he sounded breathless.
Winter’s lips moved to Ivan’s ear. “I could get back in bed and let you pretend to wake me.”
Ivan wanted to get back in bed, but for a different reason. But his heart needed him to spoil Winter outside the bedroom. Winter made that choice a hard one with the way he kept kissing Ivan’s ear. He forced his jaw to unclench. Fuck, Ivan had never wanted anyone as much in his life. Winter was a sickness for him.
“You’re already up. We should go ahead and eat so you can open your presents.”
Winter went still. “I have presents?”
Ivan glanced over his shoulder. “Of course. It’s Christmas.”
Winter’s grip loosened and Ivan turned in his hold. He looked shell-shocked. Once Winter had Ivan’s full attention, he stole Ivan’s heart. “I can’t think of a single thing to say that’s powerful enough for how I feel right now. You make me wish I had more to offer.”
Ivan didn’t know how to explain that Winter’s presence was worth more than all the money in the world. He tried. “For most of my adult life, I could afford to do and buy anything I want. Yet, I have not felt the way I do with you. You have everything to offer me.” Before he made a bigger fool of himself, Ivan grabbed the tray of food and headed for the living room. “Come on. You can open presents while we eat. I wish to watch.” He didn’t look behind him until he reached the coffee table sized ottoman near the tree. Ivan set the tray on top and turned Winter’s way. Winter was gone. A shot of panic ran through Ivan. He lived in constant fear that his intensity would drive Winter away. Therefore, he never spoke. It seemed he was right to be afraid. Winter had run when Ivan wasn’t looking. The air left Ivan’s lungs when Winter reappeared. In the kitchen, Ivan hadn’t noticed they matched. They both wore plaid pajama pants and nothing more. That realization melted Ivan’s heart. He was so goddamn happy being here with Winter. Ivan was so lost in his feelings that it took him a moment to notice Winter carried brightly wrapped presents.
Winter set the boxes under the tree. “I only had a couple hours’ notice, but I managed to snag a few things for you before we left yesterday.”
Speechless didn’t cover Ivan’s feelings as he stared at the boxes Winter added beneath the tree. The only gift he got for Christmas each year came from his boss in the form of a huge bonus. This was different. It was as if they were having a real Christmas—like a tiny family. There was an unfamiliar pressure in Ivan’s chest. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
Winter hadn’t stopped smiling. “One more thing.” He moved to Ivan’s side. “We have to have a Christmas morning picture.” He shuffled Ivan in front of the tree so it would be directly behind them in the picture. Winter held out his phone and snapped several pictures of them together. At the last moment, Winter turned his head and pressed his lips to Ivan’s cheek and took one more picture. It already felt like the perfect day, and they hadn’t really gotten started yet. Winter handed him the phone and Ivan looked through the pictures while Winter settled on the floor next to the ottoman to eat. In every image, Ivan looked severe while Winter looked happy. The final image of Winter kissing Ivan was different. Ivan’s eyes were closed. He looked like a man in love. Ivan quickly sent the picture to himself in a text before joining Winter on the floor.
“I didn’t know what you like to eat, so I put together a little of everything.”
With a forkful of eggs halfway to his mouth, Winter chuckled. “I love everything. Thank you.”
Ivan popped a piece of bacon in his mouth and leaned over to snag a gift for Winter. “You should start opening these.”
Winter ate a pineapple chunk before tearing into the first gift. Ivan ate while he watched. The first gift was a thick winter coat. Winter held it against his chest and flashed Ivan a bright smile. “Thank you. I didn’t realize until we were leaving last night that I don’t own more than a thin jacket.”
Ivan nodded. “Yes. I thought of that too. Most of us in Malibu are unaccustomed to this level of cold. I wanted you to be prepared for your first snow adventure.” Ivan went back to eating while Winter opened boxes of thick gloves and a scarf.
With more boxes to go, Winter looked his way. “Why am I the only one opening gifts? You should take a turn.”
Ivan couldn’t argue. He simply hadn’t wanted to miss watching Winter open each gift. Ivan snagged the pile of gifts Winter had added. He fought a wave of emotion as he opened the first present. It didn’t matter what was inside. This was the best day of his life. It was a bottle of vodka.