My eyes widen. This is shocking. She was married? I didn’t see that coming. And now I want to kill the bastard who made her so skittish. “Was he abusive?”
She shakes her head. “No. Not like you mean.”
“Abuse can come in many forms, Cindy. Not just physical.”
“I know. But he wasn’t any type of abusive. Not…really. Not before. Not until… Just, no.”
Her words have made no sense, but I won’t pressure her. She’s given me a big chunk. “How long ago did you get divorced?”
She flinches. “I didn’t.”
My heart stops.
My expression must freak her out because she shakes her head rapidly and speaks again. “He died.”
“Oh.” A ten-ton weight lifts off my shoulders. “When was this?”
“Seven years ago.”
Okay. So, her husband died seven years ago and she’s still hesitant to date? “Have you dated since then?”
“No.”
I nod. Jesus. Mercy.
She pulls her chin from me and lowers her face again, though she doesn’t remove her hand from mine. “I’m a hot mess, Hudson.”
“You’re human. It’s okay that you have issues. People do.” I wonder if whatever led her to be the woman she is today is even something I can deal with. I have no experience with abused women. Though she did insist she wasn’t abused.
She reaches for her bag without looking. “I should go. I need to think.” She finally tugs her hand free, but as she does so, her bag tips forward and several items fall out. “Shit,” she mutters, stuffing things back into it from the top of the table.
I would help, but I don’t want to upset her by getting more in her space than I already am, so I watch. And then a pencil rolls across the table as she reaches for it. I grab it. It’s pink, with some kind of design on it, and I glance down to see unicorns.
I smile. “Unicorns?”
She snatches it and stuffs it into her bag. “It’s just a pencil. I grabbed it from a drawer at work one day and forgot to put it back.”
I hold up both hands, palms open in defense. “Hey, I have nothing against unicorns. I just thought it was funny.”
“Well, it’s not. It’s nothing. Just a pencil.”
Why is she being so defensive? It’s not necessary. I don’t care about her pencil. I wish I hadn’t said anything now.
She scoots out of the booth and stands.
I follow her, frustrated with myself and my reactions to her.
As she rushes toward the front door, I stay on her heels. It’s pouring down rain outside, and she mutters a fuck under her breath.
I grab her shoulders from behind and turn her around. “Cindy, slow down. Talk to me.”
“I did. I said too much. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have kissed you either.”
“Well, you did. And I’m not sorry. I liked it. I’m hoping you’ll do it again sometime. Meanwhile, let me drive you home. It’s raining. You’re not going to walk tonight.” This has been an ongoing argument between us. Cindy walks everywhere when she meets up with me. I offer to drive her home every time, and she turns me down. It’s a ritual.
She shakes her head. “I’ll be fine.”
“Yep. In my car. We’re not having this argument tonight. You’re going to get in my car and let me drive you home.” I lift a brow, daring her to argue further. It’s fucking raining. I’m not about to let her walk.
Her shoulders drop. “Okay.”
Okay? My heart picks up its pace. That was easier than expected. I squeeze her shoulders. “Stay right here. I’ll pull the car up.”
She nods.
I leave her there, though I half-expect her to bolt the moment I’m out the door. I’m pretty sure I hold my breath during the short jog to my Lexus, and every second of the trip back to the entrance.
I finally exhale as Cindy opens the door and rushes over to get in my car. She tucks her bag between her feet and puts her seatbelt on before facing me. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You’re going to have to tell me where you live now.” I smile at her.
She shivers and then rattles off her address.
I drive there without saying much. I don’t want to make things worse. She’s flustered. When I pull up to her apartment building a few minutes later, I put the car in park. “Don’t suppose you’d let me walk you inside?”
She shakes her head. “Not a chance. Nice try. But I would like to ask you another favor.” She chews on her bottom lip.
“Anything.” And by God, I mean it. I can’t imagine any request from her that I would turn down.
She hesitates, meeting my gaze, fidgeting, thinking, opening and closing her mouth. Whatever it is, it’s important to her.
I don’t move a muscle or try to rush her, though I am worried she might change her mind and get out of my car without making her request.
Finally, she takes a deep breath. “Would you mind dominating me some night? At the club I mean.”
I’m blown away. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve heard her correctly. Did she just ask me to dominate her?
She wrings her hands together and continues. “It’s too much to ask, isn’t it? You can say no. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that. I just—”
I stop her with a hand to her cheek. “Cindy, I’d be honored. You have to know that. How about tomorrow night?” I don’t want to give her too much time to change her mind.
She chews that lip again before I use my thumb to pluck it from between her teeth. “Tomorrow?”
I nod. “Why not?”
“It’s just so… It’s tomorrow.”
I smile. “Yes. Tomorrow is tomorrow. I’ll talk to Roman and get someone to cover for you for half an hour, okay?”
She swallows. “No. I mean I shouldn’t ask him to do that. I didn’t think about that problem. It’s my job.”
“You get breaks. And I’m betting you haven’t taken many of them in the seven years you’ve been there,” I point out.
She leans into my palm. “True.”
“It’s settled then. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I boldly lean toward her, urging her to meet me in the middle, and then I kiss her. Gently. Eyes open. Reverently. I want her to think about this kiss as she goes to bed tonight.
When I release her, she scrambles to get out of the car, shuts the door, and jogs to the front of her apartment building without looking back.
I sit there for several minutes, trying to process what has just happened. She just asked me to dominate her. I don’t have the first clue what she expects. But by God, I’m going to figure something out.
I want to know more about her. I want to know everything. As I stare at her five-story apartment building, a light comes on four floors up and to my left. I wonder if that’s her arriving at her unit? I wish she had let me walk her to her door, but it’s probably best that she didn’t. I’m not sure how long I can continue to be a gentleman after the evening we’ve had.
Chapter 4
Cindy
Freaked out doesn’t begin to describe how I’m feeling. I didn’t sleep well last night. I struggled to concentrate while I was working at the shelter this morning. And then I spent a long time deliberating over what to wear to Surrender.