“I don’t find this amusing,” I muttered under my breath, not sure how we had the same routine.
“Does it bother you that much?” he asked, wearing his amusement in an easy smile I couldn’t properly see.
“Kinda.”
He got to the counter and I didn’t want to carry on the conversation in front of the Walkers. The family was massive, and some of the biggest gossips in town. They had six kids, the father was one of ten, and most of his siblings still lived in Arrowood. There wasn’t a part of town they didn’t own or were married to. Senior Walker's eldest sister was the mayor.
“And whatever he’s having,” Danny jabbed a thumb in my direction.
I sputtered. “Cold brew, cream and sugar.”
Danny laughed, and so did the girl behind the counter. Sara Walker, I think. She was in our year in school.
“These city boys and their cold brew.” Danny picked up his drip coffee and put a ten on the counter. “Gonna make me go broke.”
“You’re so generous, Danny. It’s good to see you two as friends again,” Sara cooed at my old flame. Was she sweet on him?
I shook it off. I didn’t want to be drawn back into the social movings of the town gossip again. Next thing I knew I’d be listening to mom’s diatribe of who was dating whom, who was cheating, who was crushing, then three days would’ve passed by. I think she and dad had a string chart in their apartment to keep all these people’s personal lives straight.
“I’m tryin’ to remind Avery here what he’s been missing with small town hospitality.” He tipped his cap at her in a gesture I couldn’t even make up. Who even tipped a baseball cap. Was he flirting with her?
What was worse is I found him charming and I hated that he might have been flirting with her.
“Thank you, Danny.” There was an edge to my words as I picked up my coffee and turned to walk off, but a heavy hand on my shoulder stopped my retreat.
“Stay and have coffee with me?” he asked. “For old times sake. A bit of a catch up.”
Sara’s eyes were on us and there was no way I could get out of this without it getting around. She hung on his words.
“Sure, why not,” I said as I turned to lock my gaze on him. I realized in the strangeness of the exchange I’d forgotten my parent’s and Aiden’s coffee order, also the donut I’d promised Ellie.
It should be an easy escape after a few pleasantries. Danny led me to a table far enough off in a corner by the fireplace where we wouldn’t easily be overheard. He sat and leaned close, forearms resting on the table. I leaned back, keeping space and hopefully his scent out of my nostrils.
“You haven’t said what you’ve been up to.” The intensity of his gaze had me shifting in my seat. Why were his eyes so green? I hated feeling like I was back in high school all over again. I’d run so hard from it all to just be right back here again.
“I thought my rant the other day in The Woods summed it up nicely.”
“That’s all you have to show for yourself, a divorce and a kid?”
“I guess not.”
He gestured between us. “So fill me in, what did you end up doing with your life? Did you run off and join the military like you dreamed of?”
I stared at my cold brew, turning it in place. “I went to college, and got a degree in software engineering, now I work for a startup in San Francisco.”
“Is that where you met your ex?” Why he was hanging on my words I’d never know. It wasn’t that interesting. Morbid curiosity?
“I met her in college.” The Heiress of moving boxes herself. She was two years older and in the middle of a business degree. I hadn’t been interested in her at first because I was too hung up on the guy sitting in front of me, but after months and months of flirting every time we saw each other, I figured my grief and loss couldn’t get worse, now here I was anyway.
“There is so much you’re not saying.”
“How do you know?”
“I knew you pretty well, Av.”
“Knew, is the key word there,” I returned.
“We used to be best friends, do you ever miss that?” he asked, his tone dropping even more and I knew why. Extra careful. Always with the appearances.
“And then we ruined it by fuckin’.” I kept my voice low, out of respect for what, I didn’t even know. Maybe out of respect for how much I used to love him. I wasn’t out to ruin the image he wanted to maintain. It was his own business who knew that he liked what he did. Not mine to tell, then or now.
“Ruined?” His tone carried hurt.
I finally met his green eyes. “You don’t think this is ruined?”
He lifted a big shoulder. “It’s good to see you. I’d hope you’d feel the same.”
My lips burned and I turned to see what was going on out the window. “Right, the twenty times in how many days we’ve run into each other.” Even with as small as Arrowood was it was not statistically possible to run into him ‘coincidently’ this much.
“It was eleven, not twenty, and do you know how hard it is to drop everything every time someone says they’ve seen you someplace and run over there? Getting you to talk ain’t easy.”
My mouth fell open, and I flat out stared. “What the actual fuck?”
“To which part?” he asked.
I scrubbed a hand over my face. “The ‘dropping everything’ to come find me?”
“How else do you expect me to keep myself on your mind?” He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned back, giving me more space at the tiny table, which I was thankful for.
I pointed a finger at him. “What happened to avoiding each other and pretending we were strangers?”
“That was your idea, it wasn’t working for me. I want you thinking about me.” He said it like it was absolutely nothing.
“But why? I don’t understand why you want to keep torturing me.” I clenched my hands into fists. I wasn’t a fighter but Danny’s smug face made me want to slug him. “I’ll leave. All of this is only reaffirming why I left fourteen years ago.”
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?” Why was I even still talking to him?
“I made a huge mistake then, and I’ve thought about you every single day since. I haven’t had a serious relationship since you, and I can’t. You are the only person for me.”
What.
Did.
He.
Just.
Say?
“Are you kidding?” My ears rang and a weight crushed down on my shoulders.
“No.” It came with a head shake. Why did he suddenly look vulnerable?
My brows pulled. “What are you saying?”
“I don’t know.”
“I can’t do this.” Opening this box wasn’t going to end well for me. I’d never closed it in the first place.
“Av…” He stood with me.
I held up my hands like it would get the giant away from me if he wanted closer. “I spent years running from this. Trying to forget. I can’t do that with someone who is unavailable to be in a relationship.” I’d done that too. I wasn’t making that mistake a third time.