“You’re right.” He chuckled.
Only, it wasn’t the same thing. Her changing in a dark tent covered in sand was out of necessity. This was different. Almost intimate.
“Thanks.” She took the phone and pocketed it without looking at the screen.
Was she not expecting back up or help of any kind?
He wished she could loop him in on this.
“Jo?” He took a half step toward her and braced his hand on the wall.
She tilted her chin up a bit. “Hm?”
“Be careful out there, okay?”
One side of her mouth hitched up. “Where’s the fun in that?”
“I’m being serious. I’m worried. I know you can’t tell me what you’re doing, and I trust you to know what you’re getting into. None of that stops me from being concerned.”
Her smile faded, and she blinked at him as though his words surprised her.
Okay, so maybe a real man didn’t run around telling people he was worried about them. He didn’t have a choice. Elias didn’t trust himself in combat situations anymore. It was why he worked behind the lines. Tonight might have gone smoothly, but what if he lost it under pressure? What if he’d overreacted while bullets were flying?
No.
It wasn’t a risk he wanted to take. Not when other lives could depend on him. Instead, he played his part at his desk, doing the less glamorous and exciting work that kept the machine running. Tonight though, tonight he wanted to be different.
A little wrinkle developed between Jo’s brows. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that.”
He swallowed hard.
His family had been the type to send him extra care packages to share with those who didn’t get mail often. One had always gone to Jo. In all the time they’d been in the trenches together, he didn’t think she’d ever received anything from home. Hell, he remembered a few months into their first deployment she’d been involved in a very minor wreck on base and had to get stitches. She’d been so confused when Elias and a few of the guys showed up to check on her.
Jo never expected anyone to care about her, because she’d never mattered to anyone. Not even her damn family. He understood why she’d enlisted to get away from her mother and sister.
The things he wanted to say to Jo’s family would never cross his lips. That didn’t stop him from wanting to throttle them.
Jo had a family that should care about her. There was no reason for her to be out in the world with no lifeline. But he wouldn’t say that.
Instead, he smiled. “I’ll be careful and keep the coffee warm?”
Her lips parted, and she stared up at him with an expression he couldn’t understand.
Elias wanted nothing more than to be here for her. To help her. She didn’t know how much she meant to him, and that was okay. It was his secret. He’d come to terms with his new life. So long as she was still in his world, he’d be content.
Jo reached out and fisted the front of his shirt. He was so surprised by the move he didn’t do anything. Which was why when she slung an arm around his shoulder he pitched forward. If it wasn’t for his hand braced against the wall, he would have staggered into her.
The next moment he became acutely aware of warm skin pressed against his. And not just any skin. His lips. Nails scraped his scalp as she fisted his hair. He placed his free hand against her side, unsure if he was steadying himself or poised to move her. Closer? Push her away? What the hell was happening?
His mind raced to catch up. He’d said something and Jo had launched herself at him.
Her lips moved over his in a desperate kiss.
Elias’ desire flared. He’d been attracted to her since the day they’d met. He’d held himself in check, remaining in his role as a friend. But this was her kissing him.
The why didn’t matter.
He gripped the door, using it as leverage to lean into her. She suckled his lower lip.
Was this really happening?
If he was asleep did he really want to wake up?
Hell. No.
Elias wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. She tugged on his hair. He let her guide him to just the right angle, but this time it wasn’t just her kissing him. If this was a dream, he wanted to do it right.
He lifted Jo off the ground. Her legs wrapped around him with no urging. His leg twinged, but only a little. He’d done all the strength training possible, but some things would never feel entirely right again. The momentary pain faded, replaced by the acute awareness of her hot, hungry mouth moving against his.
Elias took two steps until he felt the plush carpet underfoot. He turned, pressing her back to the wall and using it as a brace.
She reached out, wildly waving her arm until she caught the door and shoved it closed. Or mostly shut.
He leaned his hips into her, using his body to support her weight and freeing up his hands.
There were so many ways he wanted to touch her. For now, he cupped her cheek, relishing the simple act of kissing her.
Jo groaned and shifted, but there was only so much she could do to move herself now that he had her.
His knees shook, not from strain. From the intensity.
And that alone told him what he needed to know.
This moment was real. It wasn’t a dream or in his head.
He leaned his head back, breaking the kiss and looking at her.
Jo stared at him through her lashes. Her cheeks were pink and her lips parted.
She was stunning. Beautiful. Courageous. And didn’t know when to stop. Ever. He wanted to wrap her up, protect her against everything yet he knew he couldn’t. Which made this moment that much more complicated.
Whatever she was doing was high stress. It wasn’t uncommon for individuals in that situation to reach for physical comfort. That was a driving reason behind the lack of fraternization rules at Aegis Group. Why punish someone for a biological urge, so long as everyone involved was able to consent?
“Jo?” he whispered.
“What?”
Elias opened his mouth to say something, but didn’t know where to start or where he was even going.
She leaned forward and kissed his cheek tenderly.
He closed his eyes, emotions he wasn’t prepared to deal with welling up inside of him.
“What is it?” she whispered.
“What are we doing?” he asked and hated himself for it.
“Elias?” She trailed a single finger along his jaw. “I’m going to be real with you. There’s a fifty-fifty chance I die trying to pull this off. I can’t run away. I have to see this through. Knowing that makes me think about things I regret. Like, never acting on the urge to kiss you.”
Every sentence hit him with new revelations.
It was obvious she was in a high-risk situation, but death was an expected outcome? Who was asking her to do this? Why didn’t she have more help? And, this wasn’t the first time she’d thought of kissing him? It wasn’t new?
Jo looked at him and he felt as though she were drawing him in with each word. Not that he was fighting this or her. “I trust you, maybe more than anyone, so I’m telling you now. Because maybe I should have a long time ago?”
Elias didn’t know what to say. So he didn’t speak.
Instead, he leaned in. She tipped her chin up. He pressed his lips against hers, soft at first, exploring her mouth. Jo curled her fingers into his hair, her nails scraping his scalp as her lips moved. There was a need, a hunger, in the way she kissed. As if this might be her last meal.