“I don’t think I understand the question.”
“I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re a smart woman.”
“How do you know that?”
“You’re an attorney. You’re avoiding my original question. Why do you think you’re not the strong, confident, amazing woman that I’ve seen?”
She smiled but looked away as if she had to separate herself from my words. “You’re sweet but—”
“But what? There’s some other authority on this that I know nothing about?” I lowered my voice.
Her lips twitched. “Possibly.”
I pulled her closer so that her head was tucked under my chin, her cheek resting on my chest. Holding her felt right, settled some of the restlessness I’d experienced since Julian died. “I want to know everything about you, Avery. I want to show you that you’re wrong about yourself.”
I couldn’t see her face, but she was probably thinking I didn’t have the skills to get to the bottom of what was going on, but I knew I affected her more than anyone else, and I bet no one else had ever tried to figure her out. She thought she wasn’t worth getting to know, but she was.
She stopped dancing, pulling back to look at my face. “What do you stand to get out of this?”
Did she think I just wanted to get into her pants? “A friend and maybe something more.”
“What if I don’t want something more?”
“I think you do.” My comment was cocky, calculated, to bring out her feisty side. When I challenged her, she responded instinctually. She wasn’t overcome with worries or negative thoughts about herself.
“I won’t fall at your feet like those society types you date.”
I liked that she’d looked me up. She was curious about me. “Lorelai wasn’t a society type. We met in college. She was my lab partner in freshman biology. She was around from the beginning.”
“Lorelai, your business partner, and you were all friends in college?”
“Yes.” My tone was bitter. It shouldn’t still hurt. Lorelai had done me a favor. I returned home in time to spend time with Julian before he died.
“Wow. I’m sorry about what they did to you.”
I wanted to clear the air. “I’m over it. It was more than six months ago. I’m happier living here with the time to figure out what I want to do with my life.”
At this point, we’d danced to a couple of songs. I’d expected her to pull away after the first but she seemed completely engrossed in our conversation, in us.
“That’s good. I’m glad you’re happy.”
Guilt hit me that I’d momentarily forgotten the reason I was here, that I’d admitted to being happier. “I’m not happy about the circumstances. I’m grateful I could be here for Declan.”
“Do you plan to stay?” Her back stiffened, indicating she cared.
“I don’t know yet.” I liked she was concerned I might leave. It meant I affected her. Avery intrigued me, I was starting to make friends and a home here, but my parents could help out more with Declan than I could. I wasn’t a father but I couldn’t discount that he didn’t want to leave and I was supposed to be avoiding any big changes.
“It might not be something you were prepared for, but maybe it’s what’s best for Declan.”
I stilled. Her confidence in me spread warmth through my body. “You haven’t met him, and you barely know me.”
“I think I’m starting to. Any boy would be lucky to have you in his corner. His mother hasn’t returned, has she?”
“No. I had her investigated when Julian died. She goes from one guy to the next, moving around constantly. The investigator thought she looked for rich guys, ones who owned businesses, who could provide for her.”
“She never looked back. It’s like Declan means nothing to her, but everything to you. You’re worried you aren’t good enough for him, but that’s what makes a great father.”
A tingle ran down my spine. Was this a clue about her? “How is your relationship with your family? All you’ve said is that they weren’t home a lot.”
Avery sighed. “Their architectural firm is everything to them. My brother was so much older I didn’t know him. He’s been gone as long as I can remember. He plans to re-up his Navy contract for another thirteen years, so that probably won’t change.”
“That’s too bad.”
“Yeah, we’re essentially only children.”
“He’s never tried to reach out as an adult?”
Her face was smooth as if it didn’t bother her. “No. His life is busy. He has a child. He’s a pilot.”
“Are your parents proud of him?”
Her nose wrinkled. “Honestly, I don’t think they’re proud of either of us. It’s hard to tell. They never said good job, or we’re proud of you. They made it known when they disapproved of whatever I was doing.”
“We were lucky. We had both parents, a roof over our head.”
I didn’t point out that her brother was sent away. She told the story of her brother and parents with cold indifference as if it happened to someone else, but it happened to her. She was the victim in her own story and had no idea.
My heart ached for the child she was, how she doubted herself.
The song ended, I led her from the dance floor, grabbing two more champagne glasses from a server’s tray before finding a vacant table in the corner. I didn’t want any interruptions for this conversation.
We settled into adjacent seats. I scooted my chair so I was facing her, my legs bracketing hers. “You know about my last relationship, what about yours?”
Her shoulders lowered. “I dated a guy in law school, but it didn’t work out.”
“How long did you date?”
“One year.”
“You dated for a year and it wasn’t serious? Why did you break up?” I leaned closer.
She took a sip of her wine, licking her lips. “It’s embarrassing, a cliché really. I dated my professor.”
That surprised me. Avery didn’t strike me as someone who’d date her professor. She seemed like a rule follower.
“Someone reported our relationship. When that happened, he denied the relationship, said I’d come onto him numerous times and he’d rejected my advances. It was humiliating.”
I covered her hand with mine wanting to comfort her while at the same time my muscles taut with fury over what her ex had done. “I’m sorry that happened to you. Did you confront him?”
“I did. He had to protect himself. I understood that, but he didn’t have to throw me under the bus, ruin my reputation with the other professors and students. It got heated. He said he wouldn’t want a relationship with me. I was cold and worse.” Her eyes were flat, her shoulders lowered as if it wasn’t the first time she’d heard that.
I’d only known her for a short while, but I couldn’t imagine anyone calling her cold. She protected herself, but that was understandable given her background.
“Did you love him?” I kept my voice neutral. I didn’t want her to think I was judging her. I suspected she’d had enough of that over the years.