“Then why don’t you call more often?”
I didn’t want to bother him with my petty bullshit. Like how a boy was messing with my head. It didn’t seem worth Jonah’s time even though I’d been there for him when he was going through his own bullshit with boys. I say boys… it was really just one boy.
“You don’t need me to unload my shit on you.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
“Yes, but you can’t help me with this.”
No one could. Not when I had a sixteen-year-old pursuing me. Even that sounded ridiculous to my ears.
“Meredith.”
“It’s embarrassing, J.”
“Meredith.”
“Okay, fine… it’s a boy.”
My brother squeezed my hand. He knew all about the Owen incident and how much it screwed with my head. When it came to boys, he got why I freaked out over anything to do with them.
“Do I know this boy?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not going to tell me who it is.”
“Nope.”
If I could see him, I knew Jonah would be rolling his eyes right then.
“Okay, and what exactly is going on between you and this boy?”
I was going to have to tell him why I couldn’t get involved with Cole or he would tell me to stop being an idiot and let it happen.
“Well, nothing since he’s sixteen.”
I raised my head off my brother’s shoulder to look at him. His brow furrowed and his eyes grew concerned.
“Sixteen? Meredith, who is it?”
I shook my head. There was a multitude of reasons why I couldn’t tell him. Bringing that family up to Jonah would only cause problems.
“I can’t, J. All you need to know is, he’s no good for me, I can’t date a sixteen-year-old.”
Jonah’s mouth split into a grin.
“You like him.”
“I do not.”
He pointed at me with his free hand.
“You so do. Your ears are going red. Did you forget I know all your tells?”
“I don’t even know him, how can I like someone I barely know?”
Jonah scoffed.
“Easy, it’s called attraction and chemistry, Mer, you might have heard of it.”
I shoved his arm.
“Be serious.”
“I am and there’s nothing wrong with you dating someone younger than you, at least he’s legal.”
I gave him a sympathetic look. Jonah had a shit time of it a couple of years ago in his last year of school.
“There is when it’s…” I faltered.
“It’s who?” Jonah frowned and then his eyes went wide. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Meredith, you are not serious.”
I hung my head and nodded.
“Look, I realise I can’t stop you being friends with him, but really, his little brother? What the fuck?”
I turned my head away and stared out over the park.
“I didn’t ask for this, J. Cole told me today in the library he likes me and he knows about the whole virginity thing because Celia told him. I’ve never had anyone say they like me or call me beautiful before. I told him I wasn’t interested, but that’s not true and he knows it.”
It’s not like I’d done anything wrong. It was Cole who was coming after me not the other way around.
“You do not need any trouble in your life and this will only end in tears. I guarantee it.”
“I knew I shouldn’t have told you. This is why I wanted to talk to you on the phone.”
Jonah had a way of getting everything out of me. If I’d spoken to him over the phone, I wouldn’t have breathed a word about this shit. I would’ve only told him about how much Mum and Grandma were arguing and he’d have sympathised. But no, he had to come all the way here and force me into a confession I didn’t want to give.
“Promise me you won’t go there. I don’t care if he likes you. I take back what I said earlier. You cannot date a sixteen-year-old, especially not him.”
I’d known that but hearing my brother say it made it feel ten times worse.
“Okay, I promise.”
You know promising your brother something like that is only going to get you in trouble.
I told my brain where to go. Jonah was only trying to keep me safe even if he was slightly irrational about this subject. It was for good reason.
Are you really going to let your brother’s fears ruin your chance of a relationship with someone who might actually genuinely like and care about you?
Apparently, I was.
“Good… now, how about I take you to dinner as a treat? Then we don’t have to go home.”
I nodded, knowing the subject of Cole Carter and him liking me was at an end. Spilling the beans to my brother hadn’t made me feel any better. It only made me all the more conflicted and confused.
“Sure.”
I found my heart wasn’t really in spending time with my brother any longer. I loved Jonah to bits but him projecting his own issues on me didn’t sit well. And now I’d fucked myself over by making a promise to him I knew for a fact I was going to break.
I think I might actually be attracted to Cole. I want the chance to explore it.
Admitting it to myself just made my heart ache like a bitch.
Fuck.
Chapter Nine
It took a week for her to come looking for me. An entire week of me wondering if I’d pushed her too hard, or if she really wasn’t interested in me. I was beginning to think I’d have to go to her myself. Giving her time hadn’t been me throwing in the towel. It was to see if she’d come to me or if I had to give her more incentive.
I sat on the benches outside with some older kids who were, admittedly, troublemakers. Half of them vaped, all of them drank and I won’t even go there with the drug use. I didn’t do any of that and yet they saw me as one of their own. Probably because of the number of times I’d caused problems for other kids at school.
My attention was on my phone and not on my surroundings or listening to the chatter. It’s only when everyone fell silent I looked up. Standing there with her strawberry blonde hair braided down one side of her head and her green eyes cautious was Meredith.
“Can we help you?” Davey, who was sitting to my left, asked, his eyes narrowing on the girl in front of us.
“You can’t,” Meredith retorted.
I stifled a smile. The girl didn’t take any prisoners. She’d certainly put Davey in his place if he started on her. It’s me she failed to do so with. I didn’t back down. Pushing her buttons gave me some kind of sick thrill.
Meredith’s eyes fell on me and her expression grew darker.
“Can I talk to you?”
I rose from my seat on the benches slowly, watching her crane her head up to keep eye contact. I could tell the guys were staring at me like ‘why the fuck does Meredith Pope want to talk to you’, but I didn’t have to answer to them.