She looked down at her hands and then back up at me as if noticing how close we were standing. It took a second for her eyes to grow from confused to annoyed. Then she stepped back away from me, forcing me to drop my hands from her body.
“You know what, I don’t even know why I’m asking. You don’t seem to like giving straight answers and quite frankly, I don’t care. You’re not getting anything from me. I’ve already told you I’m not interested.”
“I can wait until you stop lying about what you want if that’s what you need.”
She glared at me again.
“I’m not lying. I have no reason to.”
I shook my head, smiling at her.
“Yes, you are. When you’re ready, you’ll come looking for me and I’ll be waiting.”
Before she had a chance to retort, I backed away from her, shoving my hands back in my pockets before I turned and walked away. The indignant huff I heard from behind me only made me smile wider. She’d got the message. She knew what I wanted. And knowing Meredith, she wouldn’t be able to contain her curiosity. She’d come to me next time. And like I’d told her, I’d be waiting to give her exactly what she didn’t know she needed.
Me.
Chapter Eight
Who the hell did Cole think he was? I’d like to damn well know. That boy had made it his mission to mess with me. This business about wanting me had to be utter bullshit. Not to mention he’d found out I was a virgin from Celia. The thought of her made my blood boil more than when Cole had been around me. And he’d heated it for a very different reason.
My best friend since I was four-years-old had turned out to be the biggest backstabbing bitch I’d ever met in my life. Honestly, I never thought she would turn against me, but she had over the summer holidays six months ago. The thought of it made me angry and upset. So yeah, maybe Cole bringing it up had put me on edge and I’d been extra bitchy to him. I could admit to that much.
Does he really like me?
I stared down at myself, trying to understand what caught his interest. He’d called me beautiful. All I’d got growing up had been boys calling me carrot top, ginger nut and fire crotch. The leering had started when I grew breasts but I figured horny teenage boys would go after anything with a pair of tits.
Cole had said none of that. He hadn’t leered either. The way he’d looked at me differed from other boys. Now I had time to calm down and think about it properly, Cole’s interest felt… genuine. Even if he was a cocky little shit. There’d be no denying that part. And I liked that about him. I shouldn’t like anything about Cole Carter. Not the way his dirty blonde hair often fell in his eyes where he’d let it grow long on top. Nor how his body had felt under my hands.
Stop it. He’s too young for you. You can’t think of him like that.
Cole had a point. He was sixteen and over the age of consent, but that didn’t make it any better. I couldn’t imagine what people would say about it if I got involved with Cole. Nothing good. Picturing Celia’s judgemental stare made me want to smack the cow around the face. I couldn’t believe she’d told him I was a virgin. She knew how embarrassed I was about it. Not that I had anything to be ashamed of. Keeping your legs closed wasn’t a bad thing. It had more to do with boys not finding me attractive. No one had even wanted to kiss me.
I tried not to think about the incident involving spin the bottle when I was sixteen. Kyle had thrown a house party when his parents were away. It flashed through my head, making my cheeks burn all over again. When the bottle landed on me and Owen Blackburn. How he’d taken me in the cupboard and told me he’d rather get with Amanda Phelps, the nerdy girl with braces and terrible acne, than kiss me. If I told anyone we hadn’t snogged, he’d spread it around I didn’t put out. I’d kept my composure when we came out and had whoops and cheers from the others, carrying on with the game and being thankful when the bottle didn’t land on me again. Later, when I’d gone back to Celia’s for the night, I’d broken down in tears and told her the whole sorry story. She’d told me Owen was an arsehole and didn’t deserve to be my first kiss anyway. I didn’t want to share it with someone who didn’t give a shit about me.
In a fucked up way, Cole gives a shit about you. He told you he took care of Celia and protected you from the rumour mill. Doesn’t that show he likes you?
“You look like you’re about to tear your hair out,” came a voice from beside me.
After school, I hadn’t wanted to go home, instead I’d made my way to the park near my house and sat under an oak tree. The fresh air helped clear my head somewhat even if my thoughts had been consumed by Cole and my ex-best friend, Celia.
I looked up, finding my brother staring down at me.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at uni?”
Jonah grinned and shrugged.
“Yes, but my sister sent me an SOS at the weekend. I don’t have lectures until tomorrow afternoon.”
I’d forgotten about that. Mum and Grandma’s arguing had been getting to me no matter how much I tried to ignore them. And Jonah hadn’t responded so I’d figured he was busy.
“I didn’t want you to make a six-hour round trip for me. A phone call would’ve sufficed.”
He sat down next to me and nudged my shoulder with his. He’d likely gone home first and found I wasn’t there then came here to our spot.
“Don’t you know I’d do anything for my little sister?”
Jonah would as well. He’d always been there for me, particularly after Dad had died.
My brother and I had opposite personalities. Whilst I was loud and out there, Jonah was quieter and more introspective. He always knew the right thing to say. We looked alike except he had blonde hair as opposed to my coppery red. The same jawline, nose and green eyes. Something we’d inherited from our dad.
“Are you sure that’s the only reason?”
“Yes, don’t bring that shit up today. It’s not why I’m here.”
I leant my head on his shoulder and sighed. Jonah had a good reason for wanting to get away from London other than because Mum and Grandma drove him crazy. And I knew how much it hurt him so I shouldn’t have even insinuated it was the reason he was here other than to see me.
“What’s wrong, Mer?”
“Everything.”
“I see you’ve not grown any less dramatic in the past couple of months.”
“Shut up.”
He reached over and took my hand, stroking his thumb down the back of it. The soothing motion calmed me. My brother was the only person in the world who understood everything I’d been through. We were super close but him going away to uni had made things that much harder on me.
“I miss you,” I whispered.
Jonah kissed my forehead.
“I’m right here.”
“Right now, maybe, but on a normal day, you’re hundreds of miles away, J. I feel like I’m drowning and I can’t come up for air.”