“No, absolutely not.” Beth’s expression hardened. “We don’t know anything about Evandale or this supposed research centre. I can’t justify travelling across the country for that.”
“But if we don’t—”
“We’ll drop the USB off at one of the safe havens. They can worry about it in our place. Then we can focus on getting somewhere secure and protecting ourselves.”
The USB felt much heavier than it had before. “I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do.”
Beth lifted an eyebrow. Clare knew the expression; Beth wasn’t happy with her dissent. She forged on.
“Ezra said the code would kill the hollows. Without it, the thanites will keep them alive for the next ten or even twenty years before their mutations finally destroy them.”
“I still prefer those odds.” Beth’s jaw was tight. “We’ll find somewhere secure and shore up our supplies to outlast this.”
“That’s not what I meant. The other survivors—” Clare’s voice caught, and she had to swallow. “People are dying every day. The only chance humanity has against the hollows is to kill them.”
“We don’t even know it will work. That code was designed by a madman—”
“I don’t think he was actually insane. He was fanatical. And smart. And jealous. He designed the thanites, so he’s probably the only person who knows how to destroy them.”
Beth leaned back in her chair, a muscle in her throat twitching. “We don’t even know if the research facility exists or if anyone there is still alive. Survivors like to share the addresses of safe havens, and no one I’ve met has mentioned Evandale. Besides, from what you told me, Ezra lied about literally everything else.”
“I’m sure he was telling the truth about this. You should have seen the way he reacted when I said I would take the USB to Evandale. He panicked. He was afraid they would steal his credit—”
“Clare, enough!” Beth slammed her bowl into the ground. “This is your problem. This is why I can’t trust you on your own. You don’t think things through.”
Heat rose over Clare’s face. “What—”
“How many times do I have to tell you this before you hear it? The heroes are dying. If you want to survive—if you want me to survive—you have to be careful. And you’re not. You get an idea and just gleefully follow it with no idea of the consequences. ‘Let’s go visit Beth’s bunker.’ ‘Oh, look, there’s that tower we heard about. Let’s stop there.’ And I can already see where this is about to go. ‘Hey, Beth, I found the USB. Let’s drive across the country, looking for a research station.’”
Clare clenched her teeth, her pulse thundering. “I—I’m doing the best I can—”
“No, you’re not. You’re acting like a child. You do whatever you want then expect other people to clean up the mess you create.”
“Don’t speak to her that way.”
Dorran’s voice wasn’t loud, but it held an intensity that made both Clare and Beth stare at him. He stayed in his chair, but his eyes were hard as he watched Beth.
Clare felt a swell of gratitude and guilt all at once. She didn’t need him to defend her—she could hold her own against Beth—but it warmed her that he was willing to. Where he’d come from, confrontation never ended well. Even now, away from his mother and her sadistic tendencies, there were signs of stress in the way he held himself. Head tilted, hands clasped, shoulders tight. Subconsciously, he was prepared for retaliation.
Beth narrowed her eyes at him. “What?”
His posture tightened further, but his voice remained steady. “She is an equal in this party. Speak to her with respect.”
“Don’t you dare lecture me,” Beth spat. “You’re not even supposed to be here.”
Clare held the USB so tightly that it made her fingers ache. “Beth, stop.”
Beth stood, breathing heavily, her face twitching. She looked from Clare to Dorran and back again. Clare lifted her chin, resolute. Beth’s lips pulled back into a grimace. “Fine. Fine! Looks like we’re done with dinner.”
She snatched the half-eaten bowls off the ground and stacked them harshly enough that curry sloshed out. Then she grabbed a raincoat from the back of her chair and, holding the bowls under one arm, stalked into the night.
Clare followed her as far as the shelter’s edge. “Where are you going?”
“To wash up.”
Within seconds, Beth had vanished into the mist and the rain. Clare folded her arms across her chest and stepped back, her throat aching as she fought against the building tears.
Chapter Four
“Clare, I am so sorry.” Dorran’s fingers grazed over her shoulder. He was hesitating, speaking softly. Clare turned and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back. Gentle hands stroked her hair.
She tried not to cry. Beth was right. She was acting like a child, letting her emotions get the best of her, and crumbling under pressure. Knowing that made the frustration even worse.
“Shh, it will be all right. I’m here for you.” Dorran rocked her, kissing the top of her head. The hands kept moving in long, slow strokes.
“I’m sorry, Dorran.” She leaned back to look up at him. “She’s not normally like this. I mean, she never acted like this before. I think… I think the stillness has been hard on her.”
“Understandable.”
Oh, Dorran. You’re patient, almost to a fault.
Clare rose onto her toes to kiss his neck. He leaned into the touch and finally smiled.
“It’ll get better,” she promised. “I’ll keep working on her. Just… try to protect yourself. You don’t have to stand up for me if we get into arguments. Leave Beth to me.”
He lifted her hand and kissed the fingers tenderly. Then, abruptly, his smile faded. Clare pressed closer to him, trying to understand the sudden change in atmosphere. He was looking at her hand.
“Sorry! The ring! I have it here.” She rushed to pull it out of her pocket. “I just—I—”
He smiled, but there was no joy in the expression any longer. “That’s fine.”
A cold rush of guilt filled her stomach. “I only took it off because Beth—with the way she’s been acting—and I didn’t want to make anything worse—”
“Clare, it’s all right.” He took her hand and wrapped the fingers around the ring. “I understand.”
“Do you?” She blinked up at him, searching his expression, but it was as though he’d shuttered his face. She couldn’t read his eyes any longer.
For a moment, Dorran didn’t speak. He was looking down at their hands. Both of his were wrapped around hers, with the ring inside. Then he took a breath and spoke softly.
“You gave me your word inside an elevator, with monsters surrounding us, and with no hope of escape. It was not a fair situation to ask you in. And not a decision I would hold you to.”
She shook her head, not sure she understood him. “Dorran…”
“I heard what your sister said earlier today. About how relationships are tenuous at best in this new world.” His eyes flicked up to meet hers briefly then dropped back down to their hands. His words were growing quicker, tighter, more formal, the way they did when he was under stress. “I do not wish for you to stay with me because of a hastily made promise that you now regret. If you wish to give the ring back, I will understand. I will not resent it.”