If my body is heaven, then his is a sexy and sinful hell that tempts the innocent girl right out of me.
Without warning, he pulls out and sits on his haunches, hauling me onto his lap before I can utter a confused objection.
“Wrap your legs around me.” Gripping my ass, he shifts into position and guides me onto his cock again. I groan at the renewed anal intrusion, writhing in the space between pain and pleasure as he traps me in the cage of his embrace.
“You feel so deep,” I say, heels digging into the mattress.
“I am deep, deeper than I thought I’d ever be with you.”
There’s a double meaning somewhere in those words, but I’m too worked up to analyze them. Instinct takes over, and I arch my spine, planting a hand on the mattress behind me for balance, and rock into him.
“Jesus, you’re a natural,” he murmurs, lips warm against the swell of my breasts. “Keep moving like that. You’re driving me fucking wild.”
He’s driving me out of my skin, my bones heavy, tingles traveling the road to ecstasy. He sucks my nipple into his mouth, and I tilt my pelvis, the gentle rocking motion against his hard abs providing exquisite friction. With each roll of my hips, I climb another step toward impending climax. Letting loose a deep moan, I claw at his shoulder.
“Look at me,” he rasps out, fisting my hair. Our eyes connect, and the tension snaps. Sweet release storms through me, the dam busting wide open. I’m a passenger in his arms, my mouth gaping in soundless cries as I come all over his abdomen.
I haven’t yet descended from the last crest when his muscles tense, and he jerks to a halt inside me. The sight of him in the throes of orgasmic bliss, his head thrown back as he grunts and groans through his release, is an image I want to brand onto my mind forever.
Chapter Seven
I’m close to sleep, snuggled at his side as he plays with my tangled locks. He twirls a braid around a finger, lets it go, then starts all over again. I have no idea what he’s thinking, or feeling, because we’ve barely said two words since we shared the most intimate, mind-blowing experience of my life.
Maybe it’s the quiet, or the flickering candlelight shrouding us in solitude, but after I came down from the adrenaline rush of becoming one with Sebastian Alexander Stone—aka Sexy As Sin—my mind went on its own trip into deceptively calm waters.
It started with a comparison to the my only other authentic experience with intimacy. Liam sent me reeling when he broke down and shared his bed with me on his birthday. I’ll never forget the sparks he ignited, making me come for the first time, or how safe and content I felt in his arms the following morning.
But tonight with Sebastian…there’s no comparison. My heart aches with guilt and sorrow and fulfillment—too many conflicting emotions to name. I care about Liam, irrevocably so, and I don’t want to hurt him. Except I’ve already hurt him, because he somehow knew before I did that Sebastian would be the death of us.
The chancellor can’t steal my heart when it already belongs to someone else. But what about Sebastian’s heart? Does a piece of it still belong to Lilith?
“Did you sleep with her?” The question startles us both, and it’s a betrayal to myself, because I don’t really want to know the answer. Or I shouldn’t want to know, but the night of the ball—when Lilith stepped off his floor and into the elevator with tears in her eyes—will forever haunt me unless we talk about it.
This conversation’s been coming for a while, and we’ve both known it.
With a sigh, Sebastian untangles himself from me and sits at the edge of the bed, one hand trailing through his messy hair.
“You want to do this now, after the night we just had?”
The fact that he isn’t questioning me on what I’m talking about, let alone denying it, squeezes my heart with dread.
“Yes, I do. We just shared the most amazing experience of my life, and I can’t let this uncertainty overshadow it in my head. Don’t you think it’s time we cleared the air?”
He glances at me from over his shoulder. “You aren’t the only one with doubts, princess. What happened with the chancellor last month after dinner?”
Scooting into a sitting position against the headboard, I pull the sheet to my chest. “You’re deflecting.”
“I’m not deflecting, Novalee. You want to have this talk, so we’re having it. Tell me what happened.”
It’s a demand as much as it is a blatant directional shift in conversation, and I grit my teeth before answering. “I asked him to take my anal virginity.”
Several tense moments slip past. “Why?”
“Because I didn’t want you to have it.”
He raises a brow. “I wouldn’t have guessed, going by your eagerness tonight.” Pointedly, he glances at the rumpled sheets. “So who stopped it—you or him?”
Avoiding his eyes, I swallow hard. “Liam did.”
He lets out a bitter laugh. “Of course he did. Castle is too goddamn noble for his own good.” He gets up and turns to face me, hands in his hair. “My turn now, is it?”
“Yes,” I say, wary of the remorseful slant of his mouth.
“You deserve the truth, but are you sure you want it?”
“No, but I need it.”
He nods, jaw stiff with resignation. “I fucked her.”
His admission slices me deeper than I thought it would—straight to the marrow of my bones. I close my eyes against the burn of tears and try to breathe, but it’s no use. Betrayal squeezes the air from my lungs. The mattress shifts under his weight, and his ragged breaths spread over my face. He slides a palm along my cheek, urging my eyes open.
“I’m not done,” he says, locking his gaze with mine. “You wanted the truth, so here it is. I fucked her, and I’ve never regretted it more. I’d take it back if I could.”
“You can’t take it back.”
“I know that. But you need to know it was a meaningless and angry fuck. After you showed up later that night, I realized it was goodbye.”
“It was more than meaningless, Sebastian. You were a mess that night. So was she. It didn’t look like goodbye to me.”
“It was goodbye,” he says, tone stubborn with certainty.
“Why are you moving on from her now? Why not the night you came to my room?” My voice cracks with hurt as the memory of his callous behavior picks at the scar he left on my soul. “Or when Landon asked you to marry me? Why now?”
“I wasn’t ready to let her go, but the second you walked out the door that night, wanting the security you thought Castle would give you, I knew I fucked up. I want you, Novalee. Hell, I want things with you I didn’t know I wanted until Landon dangled them in front of my nose.”
I blink, and a hot tear escapes, collecting in the crease where his thumb presses into my cheek. His gaze never wavers, and in those blue depths I find a glimmer of truth. But the truth feels like a betrayal, despite the complexities of our situation.
Because this isn’t a mere triangle—it’s a square of epic proportions spanning a battlefield of inevitable heartache.
And I don’t believe his heart is mine to break.
“How do you expect me to believe you? You made your disdain for my presence clear from the beginning.”