For the longest time, he just kisses me, gripping my hands against his abdomen as the bedroom seems to spin around us. I don’t notice him inching me toward the bed until the backs of my knees press into the mattress.
Breaking the kiss, he takes my face between his hands. “Do you want me?”
It’s not the first time he’s asked me that, but unlike two months ago, when I was in the House of Gemini and he uttered those words, now there’s no doubt of the uncertainty that plagues his tone. The fact that I have the power to hurt him makes me surrender completely, because underneath that tough lion exterior lies a man that just wants to be loved.
I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.
“I want you,” I say, voice choked with too much emotion.
Holding me by the nape, he buries his face in the crook of my shoulder, his breaths hitting my skin in rapid shudders. “I want inside you.”
“Okay,” I choke out my consent, struggling to work past the fear.
“Don’t be scared.” He tangles a hand in my hair. “I’ll take it slow. I promise.”
Veering back, I hold his gaze as I reach behind me and unclasp my bra. After the garment drops to the floor, I reach for the button of his jeans.
He’s not wearing underwear, and when I tug down the zipper, his erection springs free of the denim. He shoves the pants down his legs and kicks them free, then he’s pushing me into the mattress, his warm and naked body crawling over me. Reaching between our bodies, he slides his fingers through my arousal and presses a digit forward, stopping at the barrier of resistance.
“Damn, you’re wet,” he groans.
“I’m frustrated.”
His mouth tilts into a smile. “That’s definitely a problem I can fix.”
Cradling my face in one hand, our eyes connect, unwavering as he strokes me between the legs. It doesn’t take long to launch me to a whole other level of desperate need. Body straining into his touch, I writhe underneath him, skin glistening in sweat and pheromones.
“Please,” I gasp.
He sucks in a breath. “Open your eyes. Let me see you come.”
They shoot open. I hadn’t realized I’d closed them. “More…please.”
“God, you’re gorgeous.” He increases the pressure on my clit. “Give it all to me, princess.”
Orgasm takes me captive, and I moan as his mouth slants over mine, eating up the keening cries he wrenched from my core. We’re chest to chest, heart to heart, two souls lost in a labyrinth of desire, clinging to each other as if we share the same body.
He pulls out of our kiss. “Don’t move,” he murmurs before crawling to the edge of the bed.
I couldn’t lift a limb if I tried. Compared to the rush of blood during climax, my blood runs sluggish in my veins, muscles weak and trembly from the release. As I stare at the ceiling, I detect the sound of a drawer above the frantic beat of my heart. The mattress moves under his weight again, and his knees settle between my thighs.
Two strong hands grab my hips. “Lift up.”
I dig my heels against the mattress, allowing him to wedge a firm pillow under my ass. He hesitates, his lust-filled stare dark with need. “It’ll hurt a little, especially the first time.”
That’s no surprise, considering his size. “I trust you.”
He picks up a bottle from the bed and flips the cap open. It’s the same stuff Vance used before he inserted the anal plug, and I anticipate the cold sensation as Sebastian applies it. He squirts more into his palm before fisting his cock.
I’m a nervous wreck as he settles between my legs, and I expect him to begin the slow and painful journey to becoming one through the only part of my body he’s allowed to take. Instead, he glides the plump head of his cock up and down my slit. Hips taking on a lazy, circular motion, he uses his erection to spark my arousal to life all over again.
He grips my knees and spreads me wider, bringing our groins closer together as he increases the pace, and then, with his arctic gaze trapping me in the path of his stare, he shifts to my ass and teases the opening there.
Pressure, followed by burning resistance, and then I feel myself stretching to accept his tip. Gasping in pain, I fist the bed sheets and bear down. It’s instinctive, my body’s way of protecting me, despite what my heart and mind tell me to do.
“I can’t…it hurts.”
“It will at first.” He presses a hand on my belly, his thumb reaching for my clit. “Give it a few minutes. Your body will loosen up.”
“How?” My voice tears through the darkening room, two octaves higher with panic. “You’re so big.”
“Don’t fight it, princess. You were made for me.”
The gravelly quality of his voice, along with the possessiveness of his tone, smashes through the last of my fear, and my bones turn to liquid. He gains another inch before halting inside me.
“I’m barely inside you, but God, do you feel amazing.”
Sweet tension coils around my thighs, tingles at the bottoms of my feet. I’m nauseous and too hot and aroused all at once, antsy under his ministrations—going mad with impatience at his inaction, despite knowing he’s holding back for my own good.
To give my body time to stretch.
To grow used to the fullness of him in an exit-only space that’s too snug, no matter how slick his cock is—no matter the amount of preparation.
“Please,” I groan. “Don’t draw it out.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, baby. Close your eyes and breathe.”
“I don’t want to.” Nothing can tear me away from the force of his blue eyes, or the beauty of his face as he enters my body for the first time. It’s a painful but exhilarating experience, and I don’t want to miss a moment. “I need to look at you.”
Holding me by the hips, he pushes in another inch, and I can’t stop from grimacing. A bite of my lip holds back a whimper. He sinks in even further, and then he lowers himself against me, chest to chest, his nose lingering inches from mine.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
He pulls out and pushes back in, this time deeper. “Tell me if it hurts too much. The pain should be easier to handle, not worse.”
“It feels—” The word good isn’t sufficient, but my first pain-free cry is a raucous symphony of pleasure.
He cradles my cheek for the next thrust before entwining our hands, his fingers tight around mine as he moves inside me. I’ve never felt so adored, so wanted, so close to another person.
As the final sunbeams of the day disappear, the room dims, cocooning us in shadows of intimacy. Candlelight dances across his broad shoulders, and dark blond hair flops over his forehead as we move together in sweat and need, pain becoming pleasure.
Uncertainty and lack of experience becoming courage.
I tighten my grip on his hands and arch into his rhythm, climbing to a place I didn’t know existed—a place that transcends every erotic moment I’ve treasured until now.
“You okay?” he asks with a grunt, checking on me still, despite the continuous moans and needy whimpers escaping my mouth.
“Uh-huh…don’t stop.”
“Wouldn’t dare.” Closing his eyes, he drops his forehead against mine, lips spread thin over gritted teeth. “Your body is heaven.”