“I’m done. Can I go?”
The attitude grated on me, but I reminded myself to be patient. “First, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong.”
“Her friends are having a glamping trip,” Turi informed me through a mouthful of toast.
I arched an eyebrow at him. Did anything I say stick? Sometimes I felt like a recording. Don’t speak with your mouth full. Don’t run in the halls. Don’t scare the staff. Don’t play pranks on the staff. No shifting indoors. I was never so unruly, but then I was the oldest and heir to the throne. My days had been spent mostly at my father’s side, learning the ins and outs of being a prince.
“Sorry,” Turi replied, through a mouthful.
I shook my head and turned my attention back to Nita. “That sounds like fun.”
Nita’s expression darkened.
“Or not.” Had I said something wrong? She loved hanging out with her friends. Other than sleep, it seemed the only thing she did these days.
“It does sound like fun,” Nita spat out. “Lots of fun. But since I can’t go, I won’t be finding out, will I?”
“Why can’t you—”
“It’s at Espen,” Attie pitched in helpfully.
I stiffened. “What did I say about that?”
Nita glared at me like she was trying to set me on fire with her mind. “Not saying its name doesn’t stop it from existing, Bernd.”
“Watch the attitude,” I warned.
Patience.
Nita jumped from her seat, her fists balled at her side. “It’s not fair! Why do I have to suffer because you can’t get over it!”
Our mother gasped. “Nita!”
“Get over it?” My anger boiled at her callous words.
“Forbidding us from going up there won’t change the fact that he’s dead!”
Temper snapping, I slammed my hands on the table with such force the silverware and dinnerware rattled. “Enough!” My bellow echoed through the cavernous room. Slowly I rose from my seat, eyes narrowed. “You’re grounded.”
Nita stared at me. “What? Until when?”
“Until you start behaving like a princess and less like a selfish brat. Go to your room and think about what you’ve done.”
“You mean speak the truth?”
“Do you really want to keep pushing?”
“I hate you! I wish it had been you instead of him!”
The blow landed as intended, and for a heartbeat, I couldn’t breathe. She didn’t mean it. Of course she didn’t. But it bloodied me, nonetheless.
The screech from my mother’s chair resounded through the otherwise silent room as she stood. “Nita!”
“Leave your phone on the table,” I managed to get out through gritted teeth.
Nita slammed her cellphone on the table and stormed off. Several heartbeats later, something shattered in the distance, and with a sigh I sank into my chair. I closed my eyes and rubbed at my temples to ease the looming headache.
“She didn’t mean it,” my mother said softly.
No one went after Nita. We knew better. She needed time to herself to stew and throw things around before crying herself to sleep. What the hell was I supposed to do? Handling a crisis within the village was a walk in the park. My citizens listened to me, looked up to me, respected me. My teenage sister on the other hand? She wished me a fiery demise.
“I know she didn’t mean it,” I said, lifting my gaze to my mother’s.
“Maybe it’s time…”
“I’m not discussing it.”
“May we be excused?” the twins asked.
I nodded. Why not? This morning had gone to hell anyway.
My chest ached, and I rubbed at the small sapphire pendant that hung from a rope around my neck beneath my clothes, a familiar pain washing over me, one I’d been fighting for years. Instead of dulling, it seemed to have become a part of me. A hand on mine startled me, and I smiled softly at my mother. I drew my brows together and blinked back the tears.
“Will the pain ever go away? It’s been so long, yet it feels like yesterday.”
She squeezed my hand, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “When you lose a part of yourself, there’s no time limit on your grief. It will always be a part of you, and it will get better, but only if you allow yourself to heal, Bernd. The twins were so very young at the time, but you and Nita… You need to find a way to heal.
“How do I do that?” How could I help my sister heal and move on when I couldn’t rid myself of the crippling grief all these years later?
“Only you can answer that.” She stood and kissed my cheek before leaving.
I sat alone in the ornate room, the sunlight, silence, and exposed stone of the palace walls reminding me of a mausoleum. Appetite gone, I stood, thanked the staff, and headed for my sanctuary. There I sat in the window seat and pulled my legs up, my gaze on nothing in particular. Most days I could lose myself in my duties, forgetting the pain that lingered inside me. I had a couple of hours to myself before my ambassadors arrived and I had to be Prince Bernd.
Before I realized it, an hour had gone by. I stood, needing to see Nita before my duties called me away, at least attempt to smooth things over. It would be difficult, what with both of us knowing I wouldn’t allow her to go on the trip. It didn’t help that we were alike in so many ways, both hot-tempered and stubborn. Still, I couldn’t leave things the way they were.
A knock on the door halted my approach. “Yes?”
“It’s me.” The door opened slowly, and Nita half stepped into the office. “Bernd?”
I closed my eyes, relief washing over me that she’d sought me out. “Yes?”
“I… I’m…” Sniff.
Worse than her tantrums was seeing her cry. It twisted me up inside and turned me into a puddle of goo. With a soft sigh, I opened my arms. She flew into the room and launched herself into my embrace, burying her face against my chest as I enveloped her smaller frame.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so horrible. I swear I didn’t mean it,” she said through her sobs.
I squeezed her and rested my cheek against the top of her head, offering what comfort I could. “I know.”
“I hate being so angry all the time,” she mumbled against my chest as I stroked her hair.
“Me too.”
She pulled back and rubbed at her eyes before staring up at me. “Really?”
I nodded, and with a soft smile, brushed her unruly hair from her face. We might have inherited our father’s fiery disposition, but she’d inherited our mother’s delicate beauty and warmth. “We’re not so different, you and I.”
“But how do you hide it so well?”
“I don’t. I’ve just learned to channel it in other ways. Sparring, for one.” That gave me an idea. “What if you join me?”
Her face lit up, her amber eyes filled with a brightness that squeezed at my heart. “Really? You’d let me spar with you?”
“Of course. It’s about time we upped your training. You’re next in line to the throne after all.”
She squealed and threw her arms around me, hugging the life out of me and making me laugh. I had no idea she’d be interested in sparring, but then I’d never asked. I should have known better. Nita might be a princess, but she was resilient and fearless. I couldn’t help but puff up a little at how proud I was of her. Another knock sounded at the door, and we both turned as I bid them enter.