“Hey, sis. How you doing?” I never thought when I met this girl nine months ago that she’d become so important to me but she wormed her way into my heart without even trying. Hell, every single guy in the club is putty in her tiny little hands. Here we are, big bad bikers who take on assholes every day of the week without blinking an eye, and she’s like the little sister we never realized we wanted. She asks for anything and we all jump to give it to her.
“We’re good,” she answers me, glancing down at the babies sleeping in her arms. “You wanna stay with me for a while so Nix can go get some food?”
“Absolutely.”
“I’m fine,” Nix grumbles from the chair, not even bothering to open his eyes, and I chuckle.
“Phoenix West, you haven’t eaten in over twenty-four hours, and I can hear your stomach growling from here.”
“You can not,” he snorts and peeks open one eye to look up at her. She grins at him, and the love they have for each other is so obvious you would have to be blind to miss it.
“Go get some food,” she says and looks to the door, but he just shakes his head.
“You haven’t eaten either. I’ll be fine.”
“Well, will you go get me some food? And while you’re there, get some for yourself.”
He opens his eyes and sighs.
“Please?” she asks, adding in a little pout, and I hold back my laughter, knowing that he doesn’t stand a chance. He sighs again and stands, leaning over her bed to kiss her forehead before looking down at his kids, and kissing her again.
“I love you. Be right back.”
She nods. “Love you, Baby.”
When he passes me, I hear his stomach growl loudly, and I start laughing. He would have starved himself to death if she hadn’t made him leave. I move to the side of her bed and sink down into the chair that Nix just vacated as he steps out of the room and closes the door behind him. Looking up at her, I can’t help but smile. She’s fucking glowing.
“You look happy, little mama.”
“I am,” she says, her green eyes smiling down at me as she pulls her gaze away from the babies resting in her arms. “It’s so crazy, though. It was only a year ago that I was scared to death of everything. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me and now look at me. I’m a wife and a mom, and I can’t remember a time in my life when I was happier than I am right now. Life changes so fast and if you blink, you could miss it.”
I nod, trying my best to swallow past the thump in my throat. She doesn’t need to tell me that. I know all too well just how quickly life can throw you a curveball and fuck everything up. I shove it all back down again, disgusted with just how good I am at it.
“I’m just so thankful,” she says, oblivious to my inner torture. “If it wasn’t for Nix, you, and all the other guys, I wouldn’t be here right now. You saved my life, Storm, and you saved my babies. I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”
“You don’t got to repay me for anything, Darlin’.” When I joined the club, Blaze, our president, and his son, Nix, hadn’t spoken in years but after Blaze got shot, he knew he wanted to make changes in his life. He turned the club in a new direction and tried to reconcile with Nix but it wasn’t easy. For a long time, their relationship was strained but Emma brought them together. When Nix came to Blaze for help, they bonded, and from the moment that I saw Nix and Emma together, I knew she was the one for him. I’d never seen him like he was with her, and in an instant, she became family to all of us.
“There isn’t anything on this earth that me or any of those other guys wouldn’t do for you and yours,” I tell her. She smiles and shakes her head as a tear slips down her cheek.
“Damn hormones,” she chuckles, looking down at the babies in her hands as she tries to wipe her cheek with her shoulder and misses completely.
Smiling, I stand from the chair and wipe her cheek with the back of my fingers, and she laughs again. “You gonna let me hold one of these kids?” I ask, motioning to the two little boys in her arms. She nods as the tears dry up.
“Which one do you want?”
“Shit, it don’t matter,” I laugh, reaching for the one farther away from me. They look so damn tiny, and I don’t want to try and maneuver them too much.
“That’s Grady,” she says as I position him in the crook of my arm and sit back down in the chair. God, he looks so much like Nix that if Emma wasn’t lyin’ in a hospital bed, I would question if he was hers. Another memory nags at me, and this one is harder to shove back down. There was a time in my life when I looked forward to all this - marriage, kids, a family of my own.
“They look just like Nix, don’t they?” she asks, and I look up, grateful for the distraction.
“They sure do. I was about to ask if you were sure they were yours.”
She throws her head back and laughs. “Well, if the pain I’m feeling is any indication, I’m gonna say yes.”
I nod and look back down at the baby in my arms, my chest tightening again. I imagined this moment so many times. Not with someone else’s kid but with my own. I had a whole life planned out before it was ripped away from me.
“You ever think about having one of your own?” Emma asks softly, and I clear my throat, struggling to hold it together.
“Naw, not really in the cards for me.”
I glance up at her, and she’s staring at me, her head cocked to the side as she studies me. It makes me uncomfortable.
“I think you’d be an amazing dad.”
“Yeah, am I just gonna conjure one out of thin air? I’m only one part of this equation,” I say, trying to joke with her even though I’m right on the verge of losing my shit. Images of her flash through my head – my girl – but she’s gone, and it’s my fault. Because of my endless arrogance, I lost her forever.
“You’ll find someone, Storm. You’re too good of a guy to spend your life alone.”
“Whatever you say, Em,” I choke out. Thankfully, she doesn’t say anything else, and I close my eyes, desperately grasping at my self-control. The pain in my chest intensifies, and I know I’ve got to get out of here. Just as I stand from my chair to hand Grady back to Emma, Nix walks in with a tray of food in his hand.
“You’re in luck, Sweetheart,” he says, setting the food down on the table, and Emma sniffs the air, her stomach growling.
“Is that bacon?”
“Bacon mac and cheese. The nurse was just bringing food for us, and I ran into her in the hall.”
“Gimmie,” she demands, and we both laugh as Nix takes Grady from my arms and transfers him to his little bed next to Emma’s before doing the same with Corbin. I start to back away toward the door.
“I’ve got to get going but ya’ll just let me know if you need anything, ya hear?”
Emma smiles softly, almost like she can see that I’m losing it but I know that’s impossible. “We will. Tell everyone else we said hi?”
“You got it, little mama.”
They say good-bye, and I duck out of the room, my breathing harsh as I stomp down the halls, needing to get out of this place before I suffocate. The last time I was here…