Prologue
My hands are fucking sweating like crazy, and I swear my heart is about to beat right out of my chest. Rubbing my hands on my jeans, I look down and grimace at the oil stains under my fingernails. Jesus Christ. This is only the biggest fucking night of my life, and I couldn’t even remember to wash my damn hands? I grab the rag out of my back pocket and spit into it, doing my best to clean them before she gets here. Tonight has to be perfect. Weeks of preparation are leading up to one single moment that will change our lives, and I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack. I check my watch and take one last look around the back deck of the house I just bought for her today.
When she pulls up out front, the first things she’ll see are the solar lights that I installed along the sidewalk into the backyard, lighting her way to me. Shit. Maybe I should have gotten the rose petals, too. They seemed so fucking cheesy on the shelves of the store but now I feel like I didn’t do enough. Why the fuck didn’t I get her rose petals? Running my hand over my hair, I look up at the twinkle lights that I strung across the patio, stretching the entire length of the deck above our heads. There are a shit ton of candles clumped together in groups all around me, casting a soft glow over the yard with the swing set where our kids will play one day.
Two years ago to the day, I was honorably discharged from the Army, and I thought my life was over. The shit I saw and did in theatre haunted me but not more than the one thing I didn’t do. Just shy of two weeks before my tour ended, I was supposed to go out on a recon mission with my unit but the night before, I got sick. I wasn’t going to let it stop me though, and I tried to power through, but when I passed out in the barracks, the decision was taken from me. They made me stay back and sent Coleman, my best friend out there, in my place. That was the last time I saw him. They were ambushed, and no one survived. He never should have been out there. I should be dead right now but I’m not, and because of me, his mother can never hold her son again, and his fiancée lost the love of her life.
I couldn’t adjust. The quiet was the loudest thing I’d ever heard, tormenting me with my guilt. I couldn’t just be. And then she walked into my life. She breezed into the shop where I was working, and as soon as I laid eyes on her, I was a goner. I couldn’t get enough and soon, the silence was drowned out by her sweet voice and infectious laughter. For the first time in a year, I felt light and happy instead of weighed down by my mistakes. She’s everything that I never even knew I wanted, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she’s by my side forever.
I’m just a lucky bastard because, really, she could have any man on this planet. All she would have to do is smile in their direction and they’d follow her to the ends of the earth. And for some reason that I’ll probably never understand, she chose me. She chose me, and she lit up my life in the most beautiful way possible. I’ll never stop trying to make up for my failures. I’ll never stop trying to be the man she deserves. That’s why tonight has to go perfectly.
I take a deep breath and look around for a second time, wondering once again if there was more that I could have done, but before I can delve into my panic any further, she steps around the corner of the house and gasps. Her jaw pops open, and she covers it with her hand, looking all around me in wonder. My heart pounds a little harder, and I’m not sure how it hasn’t broken a rib yet.
“Logan,” she whispers as she slowly makes her way over to me, her blue gaze darting over everything again and again like she can’t believe it’s really here. She steps up to me and places her little hand on my chest. “What is all this? And where are we?”
“It’s all for you, Baby,” I tell her, placing my hand over hers and pressing it harder against my skin, loving her hands on me. Her touch is seared into my skin, imprinted into the very fiber of my bones, and there will never be another that makes me feel the way that she does. She giggles, and I can’t stop the wide smile from stretching across my face as she looks around again.
“But why?” Wonder transforms her voice, making it whisper soft as she looks around the patio, trying to take in every minute detail that I spent the last few hours putting together. I take a deep breath and look around the space with her, trying to see it through her eyes. All these lights and candles seemed so perfect when I pictured it in my head, but now I’m wondering if the vision in my mind really translated well in real life. I was in such a dark place before her, and she was my light. She walked into the room, and the darkness didn’t stand a single chance.
“Because I love you,” I tell her, and her head whips back to me, dark hair fanning out in a veil around her. She smiles up at me and leans in for a kiss. I keep it sweet, making sure she can feel every ounce of love that I feel for her. When she pulls away, she smiles up at me again, happiness dancing in her eyes, and it takes my breath away. I want to beat my chest, show everyone that I’m the one that puts that look in her eyes. I want every single person on this earth to know that I’m the man that makes her that happy.
“I love you, too, but that still doesn’t answer my first question.”
“What was your first question?” I ask, my nerves affecting my ability to remember even a few moments ago. She laughs.
“Where are we?”
I smirk, loving that I was able to surprise her with this. “Oh, you mean the house.”
“Yes, the house, Logan,” she scoffs, trying to pull away but I wrap my arm around her hip and pull her into my body, leaning in, and kissing her cheek, right by her ear.
“I bought it for you,” I whisper, and she gasps loudly, pushing against me, and I lean back. Her eyes are wide but she has a smile teasing her lips, almost like she doesn’t want to get her hopes up.
“What?”
Spinning her around in my arms, I point her toward the sliding glass door at the back of the house and stand behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist as I rest my chin on her shoulder. “It’s ours, Baby. Signed the papers today.”
She shakes her head before leaning back into me and reaching up to run her fingers through my hair. “You’re insane but I fucking love you for it.”
Her hand slides down my cheek, scraping against the stubble, and I know it’s time. I spin her back around and grab her hands, rubbing my thumb across the back of hers as I take a deep breath. “I have one more surprise for you.”
“A house wasn’t enough?” she asks, arching a brow, and I smile.
“Not quite.”
“What is it?” She glances around the yard like she might find the surprise out there. She’s so fucking cute. I take one more deep breath and release her hands, reaching into my pocket to pull out the diamond ring I saved six months of paychecks for, and drop to my knee. Her mouth pops open again for a second before tears form in her eyes. She bites down on her bottom lip as I grab her left hand.
“Sweetheart, I didn’t ever think that I could be this happy but then you walked into my life and showed me just how wrong I was. You lit up my world and brought my tired, beaten down soul back to life. Will you make all my dreams come true and marry me?”
Tears fall down her cheeks as she lets her hand fall away, showing me her watery smile as she nods. “Yes, Logan. A thousand times, yes.”