I completed my program at school and started working for Exordium with a project in mind that would save others like Sean. Those betrayed by their DNA. Synthetic organ replacements for congenital disorders became my passion. When I had felt that the time was right, I proposed the concept to Dad.
It had not gone over well. An ugly moment with the person who had raised me.
The amount of profit for this kind of project is minimal when you factor in the cost and possible risk. Exordium needs to make money, lots of money, and that doesn’t come from extreme pipe dream projects that only appeal to a fraction of the population.
Determination kindles in me; Dad isn’t the ruling body of Exordium anymore. If Matthew approves the idea, this project could get off the ground. Better yet, my breath stills as a solution surfaces. An enormous amount of time could be saved in the design process if Matthew lets me use the schematics for his organs as a jumping off point.
There would have to be some big alterations to make such a schematic work in a biological body. Matthew’s lungs don’t perform the chemical process that lungs serve to oxygenate the blood. As far as I know, Matthew’s breathing is for show. Dad had kept a lot of secrets when he was designing the android.
I hunker down to prepare the proposal, new energy in my keystrokes at the possibility of this project happening. Finally.
Chapter 6
“Why do you like cars?” I have to ask. Matthew smiles while expertly turning the wheel. The flashy object of his affection rumbles, the vibrations a bodily thing that makes my skin tingle. I have to admit, the car is beautiful. I have no idea about the make or model but even I can look at the sleek design and see it’s engineered for speed.
My eyes take in Matthew’s profile while he focuses on the road. The strong lines of his face are sharp, even turned away. When he doesn’t look at me, I can admire his beauty without getting caught. The memory of his stormy gaze stays with me, but I can appreciate the way the skin around his eyes crinkles with joy.
Engineered, sleek, and powerful.
“What is not to like? The speed, the pull of the engine, all the parts working together for an exhilarating experience.” He revs the engine then and my lips twitch at the pure joy on his face.
“I guess I’m curious how you like cars? Was it a programmed attribute?”
Matthew’s smile falls a little and I want to kick myself.
“You don’t think I can have interests cultivate organically?” Matthew counters. An interesting question. Matthew’s greatest skill is his ability to adapt. It would make sense that interests could develop from adaptation through exposure.
“I guess you could. I don’t know how exactly, but you can learn different skills. I don’t really know what goes into evoking emotion from you.” We’re silent for a minute, but it’s an uncomfortable minute. The air in the car feels stifling.
“Are you disappointed that I asked?” I blurt out.
Matthew’s face is hard to read; he isn’t smiling, his expression is more like a look of consternation. After thinking, he answers.
“I’m caught. I want to be in your company, in part, because you are the only one who knows what I really am. But whenever you ask questions trying to pick apart my personality, it feels… uncomfortable. I want you to keep asking about me because your curiosity means you’re thinking about me and that makes me happy. It’s all just kind of confusing for me, I guess.”
When he puts it like that, the issue becomes obvious.
“You want me to think of you as a person, not a machine.”
This makes his face clear and a throb of guilt tenses the muscles in my back. I had fully accepted the idea that he is a person. That my actions and questions make him feel like I don’t consider him one chafes.
“Yes!” Matthew’s eyes light up at that. His joy makes my transgression even worse. I’ve dehumanized him and haven’t even noticed.
“How about a compromise?”
Matthew looks doubtful, but I soldier on. I have to do something.
“I’m interested in getting to know you, but I’m also interested in your mechanics. I don’t think I can help myself from being interested from a professional standpoint.” It would be cruel to always be around an amazing advancement in technology and never be able to know more than surface level details. “Would it work to just state I’m curious and you can fill me in on the details that you want to talk about?”
Will he feel more validated if given control of the stream of knowledge? I don’t know. Can I stop putting my foot in my mouth long enough to get to know him better? Matthew looks even more doubtful, which doesn’t bode well.
“You’d be okay with that? If you ask a question about my personality and I just say it is just the way I am, that wouldn’t be frustrating for you?”
The imaginary scenario he suggests causes a very real bite of dissatisfaction. Matthew knows me well. I blow out a breath.
“I’m not going to lie. It will be frustrating… but if we’re trying to be friends it’s your right to be able to talk about the personal things you want to talk about in your own way. I’m not in charge of you.”
Matthew looks thoughtful and a weight lifts from me. I might not ever know everything about how Matthew works but if he is able to talk to me about it without him feeling less than, it’s worth it.
“Are you curious?” Matthew asks.
“Devastatingly,” I answer, and he chuckles with a teasing glint in his eyes.
“Then I’m sure we can make plenty of compromises.”
Something flutters in my chest at his sensual tease; it can’t be my heart. Matthew mulls over what he wants to say.
“Clark didn’t program every part of my personality as that would have taken forever. Instead, he smashed together multiple personalities he’d gathered from some other invention of his that built a program based on brain waves.” Matthew makes a vague hand gesture. “And other things.”
My mouth hangs open. That sounds like science fiction. Had Dad really come up with that on top of making Matthew?... Or had he borrowed it from a research lab? Dad wasn’t one to stop progress, even if it violated morals.
“After that he made changes here and there. Iterations that he wanted.” Matthew nodded like that is all there is to it. I have so many questions, but we have reached the place where Matthew has finished talking about it and I have to respect it. I make a sound but smile at him.
“This is going to be so hard.”
The dry honesty makes him laugh. I’m consoled that I’ve finally done something right between us.
Chapter 7
Black lace floats around me like water plants in a pond, moving to tangle from some unseen force. There was a local swimming hole that my mother would take me when I was young, when the summer heat became unbearable. The underwater plants would wrap around your legs if you didn’t pay attention and the water smelled like frogs, but it was my favorite place to go. I’d swim for hours while Mother sat regally under a shaded tree reading.
The black lace around my legs twines more dangerously than those water plants. Snaring me, pulling me under the warm water surrounding me. Keeping my head above the water is a struggle, my heartbeat sounds weak in my ears. I can’t breathe.