We were becoming closer and closer. She came to adore it when I called her darlin’. The nickname sometimes even got me an endearing hug that would melt my heart. Her hugs were so special they could even pull me from lost moments. There were times I had believed I’d simply been in such deep thought that it had me forgetting what I’d been doing.
Now, I know I had been coming to or ‘becoming’ Kenny again.
I’d suddenly be standing somewhere, holding Delilah. She would be kissing my chest, whispering words I couldn’t understand because they were so soft and quivered.
Clueless to what had been transpiring, I would ask, “Why ya shaking, darlin’?”
At the sound of my voice, her arms would tighten around my waist. “J-Just missed you. That’s all.”
Affectionately rocking her from side to side, I would chuckle, “Seeing how I’m here with you,” I would peer around, trying to figure out where I was, “where exactly did ya think I went?” Where’s Tucker?
Oh God, her beautiful warm eyes would stare into mine, telling me so many things that I was too ignorant at that time to understand, but her mouth would tremble through an attempted smile. “Here. You’ve been with me. I’m just being silly.”
Diesel pulled me from my thoughts with, “I believe you, Kenny. But, there’s a part of you we can’t trust until we know you have a better hold on him.”
Him. Diesel had referred to me—a part of me—as if I had separate entities. “Is that how I sounded in the field last night? Like someone else?”
He studied me while staying quiet, then solemnly nodded.
I couldn’t help but wonder if that is how it had felt for Delilah.
While she and I had been together as a couple, my nightmares had magically evaporated. Unfortunately, Delilah seemed to now be the one having the night terrors. Frequently, I would wake with her in my bed, crying. Of course, I would wrap my arms around her shaking body and try to soothe her. “Shh, darlin’, I’m here.”
“K–Kenny?”
Her voice was so distraught, I would kiss her all over. “Yeah. I’m here.” Through every kiss, I tried to show her love so she wouldn’t be afraid, not knowing I had been the one causing her fear. “Another nightmare?”
Delilah would cling to me as if I were her savior. “Yes, another nightmare. I missed you.”
Again, not recognizing key words, my heart would instead soar with pride that she wanted me. “Oh, darlin’, I’m not going anywhere.”
What she wanted—what she needed—was for me not to be insane.
I think it made her unstable, too. She began to hungrily kiss me. “Don’t. Don’t go anywhere, Kenny. Don’t change.”
That beautiful girl was begging me to hear her silent pleas, not realizing all I was doing was getting lost in her desperate kisses.
In the SUV, I had fallen asleep for a few hours. No one bothered me. It had been a long hard week, so they let me rest. When Scorch pulled us up to another gas station, I woke, startled.
Diesel rested a hand on my shoulder. “You good?”
I was far from it but nodded, “I just need to use the restroom,” not telling them I had been having another dream about some scared little girl, reaching out for me.
Art pointed. “I think there’s an outside bathroom.”
I looked to Diesel to know if I had permission to go unescorted.
“Yeah. Go. I’ll grab ya a burger at the el café-o over there.”
Still haunted over the scared little girl, the thought of putting a burger in my tense stomach sounded like a shitty idea, but I didn’t mention it. How could I explain being upset over someone I had never met?
With my hoody pulled over my head, I found my way to a nasty bathroom and shut the door behind me. The uncleanliness, so unlike the spotless bathrooms Delilah had at home, had me thinking of her. I stared into the mirror. The tired green eyes staring back at me begged me not to think of her, but since what I could remember that had transpired the day everything went to hell was so fresh in my mind, I slipped into the unwanted memory.
Still ignoring the odd things that had been happening to me, like losing time, I hadn’t remembered driving Delilah to school, but there I was, with her. In the school hallway, I stood there, blinking and disoriented. That last day, there was no more denying I was in trouble and dragging everyone in it with me.
“Simmer down, Tarzan. No one is threatening your jungle treat,” groaned V.
I was surprised to be feeling the residual of anger. A part of me was so angry, yet I didn’t know why. So, I handled it the only way I knew how. Under the school’s bright hallway lights, I gawked at Viola. “What are you going on about now?”
Leaning against a locker, she now looked confused. “Huh? Me? You are the one who was just—”
Delilah interrupted, asking Viola, “Did you finish that science report?”
Viola appeared to have many thoughts plaguing her, but replied, “Uh… Yes, I did.” She almost winced. “You okay, Pretty D?”
Viola drove me nuts at times, but she knew her girl well, so now I was worried. “You okay, darlin’? You look pale—”
Delilah yanked me into an incredible embrace as if relieved—as if I had been… gone. “Kenny...” She sighed before quickly kissing me, getting me lost for her all over again. “Yes, I’m fine. Will you walk me to class?”
“Hell yes.” I took her soft hand in mine, thankful to have her by my side.
After she was delivered safely, I headed toward my own class until Cole jogged up next to me. “Hey, got a minute?”
Cole was a shorter, stocky guy with a thick Georgian accent.
I stopped by a classroom door. “Sure, what’s up?”
“Umm, not my business, so try not to take offense—”
“Take offense?”
He ran his hand through the hair that almost looked naked without his cowboy hat. “Well, uh, yeah. Delilah’s been seemin’ a little out of it. Do you know why?”
Feeling bad for her, I nodded. “Yeah, she’s been having some nightmares. I think they have her on edge.”
“Nightmares? Oh.” He grabbed his chest in relief. “That explains it then.”
“Explains what?”
His relief faded, his green eyes full of caution. “Uh, once again, not trying to offend you and have ya beat my ass, but—”
I laughed. “What are you talking about? Why would I beat your ass?”
Cole lifted a brow in question. “Well, you know how you get a little touchy when Delilah’s the subject.” He waved off the comment. “Anyways, I saw her talking with our local illegal, if ya know what I mean. He handed her a bottle of pills, but maybe she needs them to sleep ‘cause of her nightmares—”
Then it happened again. I lost time…
Next thing I remembered was Viola yelling, “Kenny! Hands off, Caveman.”
The front of Cole’s shirt was bunched up in my fists, and I had his back shoved up against a row of lockers. In shock, I instantly released him, utterly in dismay with my actions and lapse of time.
Rightfully so, Cole was offended and pissed. “I was actually believing you when you seemed shocked over the mention of this rage thing you got kickin’. You’re a fucking asshole, Kenny.”