“That’s because she is.”
“I know,” he said.
“And that’s why I think your shop would be a great place for our flyers.”
“What are you advertising, anyway?”
“Our booth,” he said, handing me a flyer.
“Is it a kissing booth?”
“No.”
“Then why would I advertise it?” I winked, feeling suddenly playful. It was the first time in a long time when I didn’t feel like punching Cooper in the face.
I could make jokes.
I could be fun.
I looked down. It was an advertisement for a raffle they were doing. The high school was going to be auctioning off crafts and gift baskets in order to raise money for Hannah.
Wait, was that right?
I looked again, and then I looked up.
“Like I said,” he softened his voice. “We all really love her.”
“I’ll hang up the flyer,” I whispered.
“Thanks.”
“Does she know you’re doing this for her?” I asked.
Cooper shrugged, smiling.
“Hannah doesn’t really pay attention to the way people adore her. She treats everyone like a friend, though. Everyone loves her because she’s basically been a mother to the entire town. Now it’s our turn to help her out.”
“The money is going to help with her medical bills,” I whispered.
“More than that, I hope,” he said. “She deserves to be comfortable. Hopefully it will help with all of her expenses, depending on how much we can raise.”
“Was this your idea?” I wanted to know, suddenly. I couldn’t quite pinpoint why it was so important for me to know who was behind the decision to raise money for my aunt. From the looks of the flyer, they had gotten donations from several major businesses in town, as well as crafts and other baskets from students and parents alike.
“Does it matter whose idea it was?” He asked carefully, looking at me.
“A little.”
“Why?”
Because I wanted to know if Cooper was a good guy.
Because I wanted to know if he was the kind of guy I could trust and count on.
Because I wanted to know if Cooper Clark had a good heart, and I wanted to know if I’d completely fucked up by leaving town all of those years ago. He had hurt me, pained me. I’d lived many years trying not to think about him at all. My senior year had been a nightmare. He’d gone off to college, but he and Larissa had dated long distance, and he’d come back for senior prom with her. I hadn’t been there. I hadn’t wanted to face him, so I’d spent the entire night smoking weed at the lake by myself, reading a book and blaring music.
It had been super lame, but wildly calming.
Had I made a mistake by misjudging him?
Maybe he wasn’t the vicious villain I wanted him to be. Maybe he’d grown and changed. I certainly had. Being with Jake had stomped out so much of my creativity. I was only recently starting to find it again. For years, I’d pushed down the person I wanted to be. Maybe Cooper had done the same thing.
“It just does,” I finally whispered.
“I don’t buy it.”
“It matters to me.”
“You want to know if I’m a dick or if I’m thoughtful.”
He called me out.
He always had.
At least, until the day when I’d been planning to ask him to prom.
After that, we’d never spoken again. He’d tried. He’d called me a few times and he’d even come by my house, but I hadn’t wanted to see Cooper. I hadn’t wanted anything to do with him or Larissa.
Not ever again.
“What if I do?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
He sighed and shook his head.
“It was a long time ago, Cordelia.”
“I know,” I said. I didn’t feel like rehashing the past. I didn’t want to talk about old wounds that had hurt so deeply that I’d never come back to Ashton.
“It was my idea,” he said softly.
“I thought so.”
“Hannah is important.”
“I agree.”
We stood there for a minute, awkwardly. I wasn’t really sure what to say to the boy I’d known for so long. Somehow, it didn’t seem like it was time to say goodbye, but I had no idea what else I should say to Cooper.
“So how do you like being back in town?” He asked. He slapped a mosquito off his arm, and I stepped back, gesturing him into the shop.
“Come on,” I said. “You don’t want to get eaten up alive.”
“Wow,” he said. “How thoughtful. Thank you.”
He stepped into the shop and I closed the door behind him, locking it. When I turned back around, I just kind of looked at him for a moment. I didn’t know if this could get any more awkward, and I kind of hated that. He raised an eyebrow.
“Locking me inside?”
“I just don’t want anyone else to wander in,” I said. “It’s bad enough that people come by during the day sometimes and want a muffin or a cookie. We aren’t open yet, though: not officially. You’re our only regular customer right now.”
“People miss Hannah,” he pointed out.
“I know. Hopefully they’ll feel like the place still has the same charm once we open back up.” It was something I’d been worried about. I wanted people to like the place even though Hannah wasn’t going to be running it. It still felt like I was stealing from her, on some level. I didn’t like that feeling. The bakery had been a gift. I needed to accept that.
“With you in charge? It won’t be a problem.”
“Really?”
“Really.” He seemed so certain.
“What makes you say that?” I asked.
“You’re always in control, Cordelia.”
“You haven’t known me in a long time, Coop.”
Coop.
I shouldn’t have called him that.
If he noticed, he didn’t let me know. It was a tender sort of nickname, and it was one I hadn’t used in what seemed like a million years.
Coop and Cor.
That’s what it should have been.
That’s what we could have had.
“I don’t know,” he said, casually glancing around the room. He gestured at the space. I’d worked hard on it, and I felt like it showed. “Take a look.”
“I’m looking.”
“You’re still a hard worker.”
“I wasn’t a hard worker when you knew me.”
“That’s not true at all.”
“What do you mean?”
“You were always working hard to keep your grades up and help other people out,” he said. “Always. One hundred percent of the time.” He had noticed me struggling and trying my best? It had been hard getting through middle school without a dad. All of high school had been hard for me. I missed the idea of having a father. Mom had never remarried, so I often felt like I needed to make myself as small as possible at home. I didn’t want to burden her or cause any stress for her. She was doing her best to keep me safe, so I always figured I could do my best, too.
For her sake.
“I think you’re thinking of yourself,” I pointed out. “I remember you volunteering after school to help underprivileged kids.”