‘Won’t Doug mind?’
‘He’ll be fine too.’
‘You’re really into him, aren’t you?’
‘I am. But he’s the first man I’ve had a relationship with in many years. I put my social life on hold for Mum – not that I begrudged her.’ She gave a faint smile. ‘Who would have thought we’d both have been lonely, but not in touch?’
‘I messed up so much,’ Livvy replied.
‘You sure did. But your reasons are your reasons.’
‘Aren’t you angry?’
‘Of course. Well, no, actually. I’d say I’m more curious at the moment. But I know you’ll explain everything when you feel you’re able.’
‘Thank you.’ Livvy’s bottom lip trembled. ‘I wouldn’t have let me stay if I were you.’
‘I couldn’t turn you away. I tried to find you when you were at college.’
‘Did you?’
Hannah nodded. ‘I was told you’d left, but no one knew where you were living.’
‘I – I’m sorry.’
Hannah put up a hand. ‘Livvy, from what I can gather, you’ve done the best you can. Don’t beat yourself up about it.’ Her phone beeped an incoming message.
‘Doug?’ Livvy asked.
‘Phoebe – she lives at number forty-one. I’ll warn you now. You’re likely to get the wrath of her.’
‘She won’t be the only person who’ll want to know why I came back though.’
‘It’s up to you what you tell everyone. I must admit, I’m looking forward to getting to know you again, and my niece.’
Hannah’s warm smile gave Livvy hope. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting on her return, but this was more than she’d dared to hope.
‘Now, let’s get that pizza out before it burns.’ Hannah turned to the oven, switching it off and grabbing a glove.
Livvy watched her for a moment, bustling around the kitchen. She really didn’t seem concerned that they’d turned up unannounced. Either that or she was an exceptionally good actress.
‘There is something you can help me with.’ Livvy waited for Hannah to turn and face her. ‘I’d like to visit our parents’ grave.’
‘We can do that, but I have something for you first.’ Hannah reached into her handbag and produced an envelope. It had Livvy’s name handwritten on it, in full.
Olivia.
No one had called her that in years.
‘Mum left this for you, in case you ever came back. I think you’d better digest what’s inside it first and then we can talk some more tomorrow.’
They both turned their heads towards the door as they heard footsteps bounding down the stairs. Pip appeared and smiled shyly when she came into the kitchen.
‘Everything okay up there for you?’ Hannah asked.
Pip nodded. ‘It’s really nice. Much better than the dump we were staying in.’
Livvy looked at Hannah who was trying not to smirk.
‘You have way too many books, though. How do you get time to read them all?’
‘They’ve been collected over the years. Sometimes I donate some to the community centre fundraising events, but mostly I can’t bear to part with any.’
‘You always were a bookworm,’ Livvy said, her tone reserved.
Hannah smiled at her. ‘After we’ve eaten, I thought we could have a walk around Somerley. I can show Pip the layout. It won’t take long.’
Pip sat down across from her, leaning an elbow on the table and resting her chin in her hand. ‘I can’t wait.’ She rolled her eyes in annoyance.
But Livvy could see the hint of a smile forming on her face too.
Chapter Seven
It was late when Livvy tucked herself up under the duvet, a mug of hot chocolate by her side. This room had been her parent’s bedroom. She put a hand across the pillow as if to feel her mum still there. Despite not being close, it was hard to imagine she was gone.
She spied a picture on the wall, remembering the view from her childhood. It was of a beach in Devon; she couldn’t remember which one exactly. But it had been great fun. She and Hannah had buried their dad in the sand up to his head. She recalled him laughing as Mum had dragged them away, pretending to leave him behind.
The memories were too painful to think about at the moment. All she could concentrate on was the guilt. Tears misted her eyes, so she picked up the envelope and took out the letter.
Dear Olivia,
I’m not sure if you’ll ever read this but I had to put the words down just in case you came back. I guess it’s more wishful thinking as it’s been nearly twenty years since you left and broke my heart.
I’m so sorry for any pain I caused you when you found out you had a brother that you nor Hannah knew about. But you ran before you knew the full extent of the truth. You thought I’d had an affair. It’s complicated and I tried to explain but you were too angry to listen.
Your dad and I were young when we first met. I was nearly fifteen and he was sixteen. We were wrong to do what we did at such a delicate age but we were in love. I became pregnant with your brother – we named him Christopher.
Our parents stopped us seeing each other, but we continued in secret, long after we’d been made to give him up for adoption.
Years later, we often wondered if we should have tried to get him back, but he was settled in a new life with new parents. We couldn’t break that apart, no matter how hurtful it was to us.
So the brother you have isn’t your half-brother as you’d thought. You, and Hannah, share the same Mum and Dad with him.
I wish I could have told you this before you left. It meant that I never looked up James – that’s his adopted name – when I could because I felt Hannah wouldn’t understand either. I kept it away from her, and I’ve never forgiven myself for it. You see, the longer she didn’t know, the harder it became to tell her. It was easier to keep it a secret.
But James did find me in the end and, even though he didn’t want Hannah to know about him, he came to see me. He was everything I thought he would be and more. He’d turned into such a wonderful man, with a family of his own and a business to be proud of.
I’ve missed you so much, Olivia. I’ve often wondered how your life turned out. Are you married? Do I have grandchildren? Did you go on to be the lawyer that you dreamed of becoming? And if the answer is no to all those questions, that’s okay. I just hope you found love and happiness.
But I do wish you’d come back to visit. Hannah has been an incredible support and I know I would have been lost without her. Yet I also wonder how selfish I was to expect her to assist me as much as she did. I tried to help her with that, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She deserved more of a life and I only hope she makes up for it now that I’m gone.
You see, Hannah is a wonderful person and even though I haven’t seen you since you were eighteen, I know you will be too. Us Lockleys are a good breed. We’re survivors, fighters, but above all we are kind and considerate.
If you’re staying in Somerley once you’ve read this letter, I hope you will be happy. I’m certain Hannah will tick you off but I’m equally sure that she’ll welcome you, and whoever you might bring with you, with open arms. Please, just give her time.