“Hey.” He set down his whiskey glass, his eyes still on mine, hazy with drink. Normally, Caden was too rigid in his training to drink much, wanting to always be at his best. So it was odd for him to get drunk.
Did this have to do with me? What he heard earlier?
My brain scrambled for something to say. I had always been able to talk to him. To tease and be myself around him. Was it because the connection was one-sided, and he only saw me as a friend? Standing before him now, my throat cinched up; no conversation came to my mind.
“You look amazing.” He cleared his throat, his attention moving down the gown. The bare skin between my breasts tingled.
When I had returned to my room after training, this gown had been laid out for me, telling me exactly what I was supposed to wear tonight. Usually, I had a few choices of exquisite gowns. This time there was one.
The floor-length gown was sensual and elegant at the same time. Silvery translucent flowers decorated parts of the ultra-sheer champagne-colored fabric, leaving glimpses of skin everywhere. The material sparkled under the lights like glitter. The plunging neckline went to the base of my sternum and exposed my back, causing me to feel very bare, which was funny because I was practically naked in training all the time. You became very comfortable with being minimally dressed when working out with a small coed group. With genderless locker rooms, we had no room to be modest. I had no problem with my body. I could handle walking around in boy shorts and a sports bra when training and be completely comfortable.
Now I felt uncomfortable—on display like some dessert.
“Thank you.” I grabbed the glass from his fingers, taking a sip, my gaze sliding to him. “Looking forward to when it comes off.”
His head jerked up, his eyes widening slightly.
Chagrin swam in my cheeks with the realization of what I said. “I mean—I didn’t—”
“I know.” A grin drew up his lips. “You’d rather be in workout clothes and tossing someone’s ass onto the mat, making them cry.”
“Now that sounds like my kind of party.” I smiled around the rim, taking another sip, the smoky flavor burning down my throat.
He snorted, shaking his head. “Guess I need to order another one for myself.” He nodded toward my hand. “Always the little thief.”
“You act as if you can’t just go behind the bar and take the whole bottle.” I rolled my eyes, motioning to the bartender.
“I could take everything here if I wanted.” He leaned into me, his mouth close to my ear, and my breath stalled in my lungs.
My gaze jumped to him, but I forced my expression to stay blank.
He stared at me, his intent penetrating me.
Holyshitholyshitholyshit.
“The same again, sir?” The bartender’s voice jolted me, and I sucked in sharply.
Caden nodded, holding up his fingers. “Two.”
“Yes, sir.” The guy bowed his head slightly, reaching for the private collection of whiskey. Imported from Scotland, it probably cost as much as my dress did, if not more. Everything from the West—from the Unified Nations—was expensive, which allowed only the rich to be able to procure these items.
We both stayed silent. Tension, which had never existed before, now dripped between us like heavy syrup. The bartender set down the glasses, his eyes darting between us with curiosity before he moved on to other guests.
“Caden…” I twisted to him.
“Don’t, Brex.” He stared down into his drink. “It is taking everything I have not to go over and beat the shit out of that te geci.” Motherfucker. His hands rolled up into balls, his glower stretching across the space to where Aron and all the different classes of cadets hung out, drinking and enjoying the night. “The thought of you being with him...”
I turned to face the room, not knowing how to respond.
“I can’t believe you slept with that guy. He touched you.” Caden’s Adam’s apple bobbed, his jaw locking down. “He’s such a douchebag, and you let him…”
“I know what I did,” I snapped. Aron wasn’t my finest moment, a regret that I had to relive daily. I hated that he was my first, that he had something no one else would. But it was done, and in all honesty, I barely remembered it.
But what I did was my choice. My mistake. Caden had no right to judge or condemn me for it.
“When?” he croaked.
“Does it matter? It was a long time ago.” I slammed back a huge gulp of my drink, my eyes watering as it scorched down my throat.
“Brex.”
“It’s none of your business. And why do you care? Aren’t you fucking Lilla?” I glowered at him. “You aren’t my boyfriend. You have no say in what I do. Or who I do.”
He flinched, bowing his head. Then his lips spoke words so low I barely captured them. “What if I wanted to be?”
Like I had taken a punch to the ribs, fear halted my breath—fear I was mistaking the meaning of his words. Heard them wrong. Twisting to him, my chest puffed with tension as his gaze landed heavily on me. With want. Desire.
“Want to be what?” I whispered.
His gaze rolled over my body as he leaned in. “Want to be—”
“There you two are.” Istvan’s deep voice sliced through our bubble, jerking both of us toward him.
His stern expression showed nothing, but his steel eyes went back and forth between us, assessing us like a predator. Also dressed in a tux, Istvan looked every bit the ruler he was. Handsome, charismatic, ruthless, and arrogant.
“I expect you two to mingle and greet our guests, not hang out with each other as you do every day.” He spoke to us but continued nodding and shaking hands with admirers passing by who wanted to speak with the infamous leader. “I want you both to join me in welcoming Prime Minister Lazar.”
I straightened to my full five-feet-seven height, my stomach already twisting at the thought of conversing with strangers. I learned to be good at it, but I hated it. Since becoming Istvan’s ward, he expected me to play the part as a real daughter would. Using both Caden and me like chess pieces, he strategically moved us around the room.
“These are very important people. I need you on your best behavior.”
“Then I probably should stay here.” My hand went to my stomach, where the whiskey and champagne now clashed.
Istvan’s gaze slid to me. “I believe I said both of you.”
“Yes, sir.” I nodded. The man could make a monster cower with that look.
Istvan took a breath and strode away.
My focus fell on Caden, longing for him to finish what he was going to say.
“Caden…”
“Not now, Brex.” He shook his head.
Pinching my lips, I exhaled. This night already felt too long.
“After you.” Caden motioned for me to go first.
All I wanted was to be alone with Caden. What was he going to say before his father cut him off? Did he want to be my boyfriend? Was he finally admitting there was something there?
Later, Brex, I chided myself. Just get through this damn night.
Drinking down the rest of my liquid courage, I rolled my shoulders back and followed Istvan, trying to shove away the gnawing urge to walk straight out the door.