I gritted my teeth in disgust and fury, my body vibrating with the need to pummel him, shut him up. At least I forgot my sore muscles and fatigue.
I had tried to pretend Caden and I were just friends, and I didn’t like him any more than that. I didn’t care if he was hooking up with Lilla or any of the girls before her. I tried to make it the truth so much that I did the stupidest thing ever.
I let this asshole in front of me take my virginity one night.
I was drunk, heartbroken, mad, and lonely, and Aron was the only one who had guts to pursue me. The rest of the guys were too scared of Caden’s reaction. It was like he controlled who I dated, while he freely got to screw every girl who walked by.
It was the first anniversary of my father’s death. Aron was there, showing me the attention I so desperately craved. Losing my father had left me grasping for something, anything, to anchor me and make me feel good. I’d sunk into the sludge of desperation, watching Caden hook up with girls right in front of me.
Regret started even before Aron was done—which, let me say—wasn’t long.
Now my worst remorse and humiliation was in my face daily, taunting me.
“Come on, Kovacs.” He flicked his wrists, motioning to himself. “I know you want it. You can play the uptight prude all you want, but I know how you enjoy it. Know how easy those legs open.”
Hanna, the closest I had to a girlfriend, inhaled with shock, her mouth dropping open. Shit. If it wasn’t humiliating enough that I’d ever allowed this piece of crap to touch me, now everyone in this room knew. They stared at me with disbelief and repulsion, and my cheeks heated with shame. I knew they thought I was stuck-up and prudish, not imagining I could possibly have slept with Aron of all people. Especially with how much I clearly hated him.
Turn your weakness and embarrassment into your favor, I told myself, trying to push away the stunned faces of my comrades.
Taking a step closer to Aron, my lips curled in a heated smile. He stood there, watching me, his eyes widening with lust.
“Honestly, you were so incompetent in bed, I’d be surprised if you can even get yourself off.” My voice went low and husky.
There was a beat.
“Oooohhhh, dammmnnn!” A few guys laughed, covering their mouths in shock.
Aron’s head jerked back, his lids narrowing, nose flaring. “You bitch!” he sneered, leaping for me. All emotion and no strategy.
Perfect.
Twisting my body, I snapped my elbow up, digging into his esophagus and knocking him back. Aron grabbed for his throat, stumbling back, hacking and gasping for air. I was taught never to let your opponent recover. It might be the only chance you have to live.
Spinning, I kicked out, jabbing at the tendon in his knee.
“Ah!” He cried out as my boot slammed into his chest, tossing him back on the mat. Jumping down, I pinned his arms with my knees, my elbow pressing into the soft curve of his neck. His expression pinched with pain while his eyes glared at me with rage, his lips curling in a snarl.
“You’re right, Horvát.” I leaned into him, digging in deeper. “You do know how I like it.”
“All right, Kovacs. That’s enough,” Bakos yelled to me.
I winked at Aron, withdrawing, basking in smugness as I stepped from the mat.
My self-satisfaction was suddenly clipped like bird wings, plummeting me back to earth with a painful crunch the next moment. Caden leaned against the door, which he did frequently, watching my class spar. He’d later give me pointers, working on moves with me. But this time, he was not grinning at me. His arms were folded, his expression taut and cold, but his brown eyes burned into me, ripping through my soul and peeling back my skin. His chest puffed in and out as he took in air.
There was no doubt. He heard everything.
His mouth pinched together, his head shaking slightly, and pain flashed in his eyes before he snapped his head away from me and turned, striding down the hall.
Drowning in guilt and sadness, I pitched forward, wanting to run after him. But years of training held me in place, going against my instinct to follow him. To explain.
Settling back in my place next to Hanna, I bit down on my lip, holding back the emotions trying to leap from my heart that wanted to make me say and do something stupid.
“Damn, girl,” Hanna whispered under her breath.
“He deserved it.”
“Aron always does,” she muttered, her head staying forward. “But that’s not what I was talking about.”
Oh. That. “It was a mistake.” My jaw clenched, my chin hitching up again as I watched another pair move to the mat. “Don’t want to talk about it.”
“Oh, we will definitely be talking about it at the party tonight.” She leaned in toward me.
Party?
Oh shit.
I had totally forgotten. Istvan enjoyed impressing people, being admired. The more noses up his ass, the happier he was. He threw parties all the time—galas, balls, festivals—to schmooze with the rich and powerful. There they made deals, forged alliances, and gained more influence and power.
Tonight was no different. General Markos wanted to greatly impress the Romanian leader. I had no idea why, but he kept reminding Caden and me about the importance of this night. Funny, I ended up completely forgetting about it. Again.
I wasn’t the kind of girl who enjoyed getting dressed up in torturous outfits and shoes, and I was rarely on my best behavior with stuffy, boring people. I’d rather be in my cargo pants and tank hanging out with Caden, drinking palinka straight from the bottle at our favorite spot.
“But again, that’s not what I meant.”
I peered at Hanna. An impish smile wobbled on her mouth, her blonde eyebrows rising to wicked peaks.
“What?”
“You are so blind.” She shook her head, then tipped her chin toward the door. “Ca-den…”
“What about him?” I swallowed, heat clogging my throat and spreading over my skin. Why was he so angry? Yeah, Aron was an asshole, but Caden had no say in who I slept with. He had screwed half the girls here, and now he acted as though I’d hurt him? How dare he.
Anger diluted the mix of other emotions.
“Did you not see his face?” she stressed. “You might as well have stabbed him in the heart.”
“What? No. That wasn’t it at all.” It was disgust.
“Suuuree.” She shook her head. “You two. Someone needs to smack you guys in the head.” She leaned in closer, whispering, “Maybe flirting with Sergiu tonight will wake Caden up. I’ve heard he’s gotten really cute.”
“Sergiu?” I gagged. “Are you serious? Gross. Plus, haven’t you heard the rumors about him?”
“His kink is beating up prostitutes he’s screwing, and he won’t date anyone because he thinks he’s above everyone?” She shrugged. “Yeah, but think how riled up Caden would get if you flirted with him. Might finally get him to act. Because Sergiu would fall over his tongue to get to you. All men do.”
“Hanna, you’re up.” Bakos waved to her.
“Ugh. I hope I don’t get a black eye like I had at the last ball. Doesn’t match my dress.” She sighed, tightening her blonde ponytail. “And rumor is the minister of Serbia loves blondes and is very kinky.” Hanna wiggled her eyebrows at me before heading to the mat.