And soon enough, a town bustling with activity came into view, and it was nothing like I had ever imagined seeing. Maybe I should have. But I didn't.
This is the town center. It makes sssense that our thief would be here.
I couldn't answer yet, stunned and overwhelmed by the sight of a quaintly charming town...populated by, well, skeletons.
"Are they dead?" I heard myself whisper.
In a way. These are humans who, too afraid to find out if they were bound for Tartarus or the Island of the Blessed, have chosen to ssserve Hades for eternity.
The town had an incredible Venetian feel to it, but more...magical. Think bike-riding skeletons weaving through narrow brick-paved alleys, gondolas cruising under stone bridges, and canal houses overlooking the Underworld's secret rainbow-colored river.
Magical, I found myself thinking once again, and it was now easy to see why one would opt to live and work in the Underworld, even if it meant getting used to walking around, um, naked.
"So..." I glanced at Sssusssan. "Do we start asking around about you-know-what?"
That is an option. Or you may feed the partridge another drop of your blood.
Easy for her to say, but since I'd really rather not waste time...
I glanced up. "Hey, Little Iron."
You named it?
"Yep."
But it is not real.
"If guys can name their cars," I said defensively, "why can't I name him?"
Sssso now it has its own gender, too?
Little Iron flew down, and I gave his head a little pat as the bird perched itself on my palm. "It's okay, little one. The Gorgon doesn't mean anything by it, so don't let her hurt your feelings."
Sssusssan's tongue had snapped out again, but this time its scare factor had gone from 250% to 80%. I could be wrong (and end up turned into stone if I was), but I had a feeling Mira's Gorgon servant was all hiss and no bite.
You can be very annoying.
"I think the word you mean is cute."
No.
"Well, give it time, and I'm sure you'll change your mind."
No.
And since her tongue had snapped out again, and this time within striking distance of my cheek, I decided to follow my own advice and switched my attention back to Little Iron. Sssusssan truly just needed time, and sooner or later I'd eventually grow on her. I hoped.
Meanwhile, Little Iron had finished taking a little nip of my blood, and I gave his head a little pat. "Off you go then."
The partridge flew up, and as we followed behind it, I couldn't help but feel a little glum at the way none of the skeletons seemed to give us a second glance. Did they really not know what their new LOTUS looked like? Or did they just not care?
"They hate me," I remarked gloomily to Sssusssan.
Hate is a ssstrong word.
"They can't even bear to look at me—-"
How ssstupid you are. You are walking next to a Gorgon. Of course they would not look this way.
It took a moment to realize the truth in her words, and I let out an explosive sigh of relief. "Oh thank God." I saw Sssusssan open her mouth and forestalled her with a wrinkle of my nose, saying, "Yeah, yeah, I know. Mistress Mira told you I'm stupid, and Mistress Mira is right like always."
Actually...no. I wanted to sssay the partridge has found our next destination. But yes, it is also true that Mistress Mira sssaid you are ssstupid, and ssshe is right.
I made a face. "Very funny."
I was not joking. You are ssstupid.
"Has anyone told you that you're a little too much like your beloved Mistress—-" I broke off upon feeling my iPhone vibrate inside of my pocket. Before taking off, Hadrian had attached a thingamajig to its back, telling me that this would allow my smartphone to work like regular, only I wouldn't be able to contact anyone outside the realm.
And since Hadrian was also the only one in the Underworld who had my number...
Oh dear.
I excused myself from Sssusssan, found myself a private little corner, and took a deep breath before answering my boyfriend's call. "Hey..."
"Hello, milady." His voice was a lot milder than usual. Too mild, actually, that I knew right away I was in trouble.
Chapter Eight
A few skeletal subjects approached me on my way back to Sssusssan, and I surprised myself with how easily I took everything in stride and interacted with them like normal. It was nice to know that the Gorgon was right earlier - they didn't hate me, thank God - and even nicer to know that I wasn't afraid of them like I used to be afraid of ghosts (even though I had been a ghost myself).
One skeleton shyly introduced herself as Daisy and asked for a selfie with me, another just wanted to shake my hand (news flash: bones were so amazingly smooth!), while a skeletal couple congratulated me on being the future Mrs. Hades.
It was a happy feeling, and for the very first time I found myself thinking that maybe...just maybe, I wouldn't suck that bad as the new LOTUS.
And as far as my duties as the new Lady went...
Sssusssan had gotten herself a table at one of the canal-facing tavernas while I was away, and I sensed the Gorgon's gaze turning watchful behind her sunglasses as I took my seat.
Is everything alright?
"Hadrian's upset with me." This wasn't a lie. "He thinks it's stupid that I went on this quest. I kinda got the feeling he believes this entire quest is nothing but a joke, and that I'm simply setting myself up for more trouble."
He is correct.
"You're supposed to be on my side," I protested.
I will never be on your ssside. You are too ssstupid for me.
"Please take that back," I said stiffly.
No.
"I mean it, Susan."
Sssee? Only sssomeone ssstupid will get even my name wrong.
"But your name is Susan—-"
It's Sssusssan. Ssstupid.
I let out an indignant gasp. "You know what? That's it. That's the last straw! I'm firing you from this quest—-"
You will die within an hour if you do this alone.
I jumped to my feet. "I mean it, you know."
I, too, meant what I sssaid.
"Whatever." I spun around, heart racing because I could feel the Gorgon's stare following me as I walked away.
Oh man.
I sure hoped Hadrian knew what he was doing, asking me to potentially piss off a Gorgon so I could sneak away and meet him in secret.
As the distance between the Gorgon and me grew, Hadrian's subjects once again found the confidence to come close, and I did my best to accommodate all requests for selfies, handshakes, and even the odd autograph or two.
If Mira ever got wind of this, I'm sure she'd think I was being too approachable. I supposed we simply had to agree to disagree on this matter, especially with how sweet everyone was being. Apparently, all of them had seen today's news, and they wanted me to know they found my reaction completely understandable.
Zeus is not acting himself, a skeleton with an old-woman's-voice said comfortingly. Why would anyone not be scared?
And honestly, I was tempted at first to simply let it go at that, but instead I eventually heard myself say, "Underworld Times had it wrong, though. It wasn't like that at all." Because at that moment, I realized I hadn't anything to lie about, and more importantly, I mustn't lie at all.