Welcome to a day in the life of a newly-minted midlife goddess...
Me: Before you introduce me, can I ask you something?
Hadrian: Of course.
Me: If we call our Chief of State POTUS, then can't your subjects call me...are you ready for this?
Hadrian: I can hardly wait.
Me: They can call me...LOTUS!!!
Hadrian: Ah. I see.
Me: Isn't it cute?
Hadrian: It is, but...how exactly did you work that out?
Me: Short for Lady of the Underworld.
Hadrian: So...LOTU.
Me: No. That rhymes a little too closely to 'loathe you', which I'm sure my future haters would love to turn into a hashtag. So my pre-emptive strategy is—-
Hadrian: Make sure you don't do something that would have people hate you?
Me: Uh...yeah. I know you're used to having magic in your life, but you gotta learn to be realistic, too. I'm the kind of person people either love or hate, no in between.
Hadrian: I count myself lucky then, having the wisdom and exceptionally good taste to fall in love with you.
Me: God, you're so hot. Do we have time for a quick...oh, no, wait, you almost distracted me there. Back to my nickname. Can we do LOTUS then, like the flower? Please?
Hadrian: I truly wish I could say yes, milady...but that's not how acronyms work. You need to find a way to get the S in there.
Me: But I'm a goddess.
Hadrian: ...
Me: Well?
Hadrian: I'm sorry, love. But I'm not seeing the connection.
Me: Goddesses surely have the power to change the rules of grammar.
Hadrian: Ah. I see.
Me: So...
Hadrian: Where grammar's concerned, even goddesses have to play by the same rules, so I'm afraid the answer is still no.
Me: Oh, fine. How about Lady of the Underworld...States?
Hadrian: The Underworld has no states.
Me: So...is that another no?
**** And now, back to regular programming ****
Hey there. I'm Saoirse, and I used to be a thirty-something ghost who (long story short) turned into a 41-year-old goddess when I started dating the (recently divorced) Lord of the Underworld.
Today was supposed to be my honeymoon - I mean, homecoming...
Until Zeus suddenly lost his marbles...
Hadrian had to put Hell on lockdown...
And a raven-haired beauty (whom I may or may not be jealous of) believes that my blood might help save us from the Olympian god's deadly, missile-like thunderbolts.
So yeah.
Those people who think middle-aged women can only lead ho-hum lives?
Tell them to give me a call, will you? ;)
Hell Becomes Her
By Marian Tee writing as Alice Bloome
(The Midlife Goddess #3)
Copyright 2020 by Streak Digital Publishing
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Let's Play Catch-Up
Prologue
IT'S AN UNSPOKEN RULE in life that only rockstars and women with PMS (or menopause) are entitled to have mood swings. Unfortunately, an Olympian god named Zeus hasn't gotten the memo on this, and now the whole of New England's paying the price.
Think multiple flash floods, towns and cities losing power, and if social media was to be believed, there are even reports of record-high waves roaring close to our shores, seemingly on the brink of transforming into a tsunami that could swallow the entire coast.
And all of this...in just minutes since Zeus lost his marbles.
Crazy, right? Figuratively and literally.
But...I'm getting ahead of myself.
If it's your first time to check in, then a short introduction's in order. My name is Saoirse Sullivan. A brain aneurysm killed me when I was thirty-eight, and I went on to haunt my old apartment building...until a certain man caught my eye. He was tall, dark, and handsome. Wore a black hoodie and jeans. And instead of taking the elevator, he actually went for the stairwell.
Imagine that.
What's the point of living in the 21st century if you're not going to let technology spoil you? We're supposed to be lazier now - not healthier - and the fact that Tall, Dark, and Handsome didn't seem to realize this had me curious.
So curious that I ended up stalking following him, and well...say hello to the new me: a ghost with the ability to take human form because I also happen to be the LOTUS.
AKA...Lady of the Underworld (we'll talk about the S part later).
And that's possible because the tall, dark, and handsome guy I was telling you about earlier?
He's my boyfriend now, and you probably know him better as Hades.
Today is supposed to be the beginning of our happy-ever-after...except Zeus - yes, that Zeus - started acting a little cuckoo up in the clouds, and now that we've effectively caught up with the present...
Chapter One
The sight of bookstores normally made me yawn (or hide), but the one coming up the road was special. It was actually a magical portal to Hell the Underworld, and while going to a place full of dead people might not be anyone's idea of fun...
Now, it just sounded heavenly (pun intended), since the Underworld was also the only place that Zeus' thunderbolts wouldn't be able to reach.
Or so my boyfriend tells me.
"Wait here," Hadrian said gruffly after switching off the car's engine.
I watched him walk around the car to get to my side. He looked ruggedly handsome as always, and though I used to go for guys in suits, there was nothing sexier for me nowadays than Hadrian's hoodies and jeans. All black, too, including the umbrella he was holding.
Guys opening doors for girls might be a thing of the past for most, but Hadrian was different. He had always been sweet and charmingly old-fashioned that way, even back when I was a ghost, and I could easily float out of cars and walk under the rain without getting wet.
A woman mustn't ever open her own door when a gentleman was around, the Lord of the Underworld once told me very, very seriously, and if she did, then it only meant her companion was an arse.
A strong gust of wind slapped my face as soon as Hadrian opened the passenger door, but I knew better than to wince. Hadrian could also get really overprotective, and while I found that trait rather endearing, right now it was more imperative he didn't waste time worrying about me.
He had a kingdom to save, and as his (new) Lady, I didn't want to risk having his people to think I was a royal burden in any way.
Rain lashed down at us in large, hard-hitting drops, and the howling winds that whipped about us were frighteningly vicious. There was almost a point I feared it would literally blow me away before we could make it to the bookshop, but Hadrian's arm curved around my waist to anchor me, and it was all good again.
A cozy, wraparound porch welcomed us to the bookshop, and I absently noticed a newly added rocking chair in the corner while I gave my wet hair a little squeeze and shake.
"You okay?" Hadrian asked.
I nodded, and at that time, I meant it. I did feel fine. But when Hadrian received a call from someone named Paul, who then asked for his help to keep Zeus' deadly thunderbolts from randomly killing people—-