Once I’ve finished my breakfast, I head to my room. It’s much more homely than the flat I’m renting, which is good because if things continue the way they have been then I might be moving into it sooner than I’d like to admit.
With just under an hour before my first client of the day is due to arrive, I power up my computer to get some admin done before pulling my phone from my pocket. Knowing her number is sitting there waiting for me taunts me. My thumb hovers over the contacts as I debate shooting her a message. I know the wisest thing to do would be to forget and move on, but there’s something about her that’s still under my skin.
Ignoring my need to reach out, I instead find the number for another woman who occupies a lot of my headspace. Sadly it’s in a totally different way to Harlow.
“Hey, Son. How’s it going over there?” Mum asks in a joyful voice that I know she’s putting on for my benefit.
“It’s fantastic.” It’s not a lie, I love my new life here, but speaking to her is always a stark reminder of the disaster I left behind in my quest to escape my past. “And how are things there?”
“Yeah, yeah. They’re good. The electric company has finally sorted everything out.”
“That’s great. What about everything else?”
She pauses and lets out a large sigh. “We’re getting there. Natalie has a new bar job, so that will help. Sadie is looking, but with her studies, it’s not easy. It’ll all be fine though. I’m stronger than I look. I won’t let him break me, Son.”
“I know you are, Mum.”
“Plus I’ve got you, my guardian angel.” A smile curls up at one side of my mouth.
“It’s the least I can do, seeing as I’m not there.”
“How was I so lucky to get you as my son?” She asks me this often; my constant answer is that I’m only what she made me, but the words are getting boring.
“It’s how it should be. Anything else from debt collectors?”
“No, not since the last lot of letters I sent you.”
“That’s good. Hopefully, they’re coming to an end.”
“I’m sure they are. There’s only so much bad luck that can land on me, right?”
I agree, because I’m not sure what else to say. Mum chats away before I tell her that I’ve got to get to work and bring our conversation to an end, promising to ring her in a few days but insisting that if she needs me she reaches out before then. She agrees like always, but she’s stubborn, and it’s usually one of my sisters who ends up ringing with bad news.
Mum and Dad had been happily married all my life. I often questioned Mother’s choice in men seeing as he was so controlling. He enlisted in the army at fifteen, and every single part of his life was run like it was a military operation, including his marriage. I always assumed Mum was happy with that, because she sure never complained. Although I’m now learning it was more because she was afraid to than anything else.
Everything was… bearable, I guess, until one day it all came crashing down around Mum’s feet. Dad came home one night and announced that he’d met someone else and that he was leaving. Mum was shattered. Everything about life as she knew it ended with those few words, but she never imagined what was to follow, thanks to my father.
A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. Shaking my head, I hope that it might rid me of some of my stress as I pocket my phone and welcome my first client of the day inside. It’s a guy who turned up a few weeks ago for a consultation. I’ve been working on finalising his design since, and I’m excited to finally be able to put some ink to skin at last.
“Corey, man. How’s it going?”
“It’s good, it’s good,” I say plastering a smile on my face like all is right in my world.
“I can’t wait to get this started.”
“You still happy with it?”
“Yeah, man. It’s perfect.”
“Shirt off then and down on your front, and I’ll get started.”
Chapter Five
Harlow
“Are you ever going to get that thing done, or do you just intend on staring at it for the rest of your days, wishing you were brave enough?”
I glance at the sketch tacked to my mirror before lifting my eyes over my shoulder to Bailey, who’s now made herself comfortable in my bed.
“Something wrong with your room?”
“Yeah, actually. It stinks of puke.”
“So you thought you’d spread it to my bed, too. Great, thanks.”
“I’ve showered, you’re safe.”
That doesn’t exactly make me feel better, but I look back to my mirror to finish getting ready. My stomach bottoms out the second I remember what exactly it is I’m getting ready for before I have a chance to push it aside.
“I’ll get it one day,” I mutter, looking at the design I came up with a few years ago for the day I was brave enough to be inked. After all the shit I did in my teen years, you wouldn’t think getting a tattoo would have been all that wild, but every time I thought about it, I chickened out. I even got as far as a waiting room a time or two, but each visit ended with me walking back out through the door with my skin as bare as when I walked inside.
“You’ve been saying that for years. Pull the Band-Aid off and just do it, H. I guarantee you’ll feel better after.”
“Says the expert,” I mutter, knowing that her knowledge of tattoos is limited to the tramp stamp on her back.
“I’m too hungover to argue with you.”
“And for that I’m truly grateful.”
“Bitch.”
“Yet still you love me.”
“That I do, sista. That I do. You look nice,” Bailey says, her eyes running the length of me.
“Dress for the news you want, right?”
“It’ll be fine. I’m pretty sure you’ve had your fill of bad luck over the years.”
“She’s been called in on a Saturday, do you really believe that?”
Dread passes through her eyes, and my stomach twists with what I know is coming. I’m about to be told that I’m losing someone else I love. They’re words that one should only hear once or twice in their lives, but for me, it’s a more common occurrence than I’d like to admit.
Bailey’s slightly green face pales. She knows I’m right.
“It will be what it will be. I’ve just got to do my best to support her through it.”
“She’s lucky to have you.”
I shrug. I can see how Bailey might see it that way, but really, I’m the lucky one. My aunt is my lifeline. She came for me when I was at my lowest, and without her, I’ve no doubt that I probably wouldn’t be here right now.
Pushing from the stool I’m sitting on, I stand and pull my purse from the bed.
“Message me when you have news.”
I nod, suck in a huge breath, and move toward the door. I’ve got to be strong for her. She might be all I have in the family department, but equally, I’m all she’s got, and I need to not fall apart when she needs me most. She didn’t when I was, so it’s time for me to pull up my big girl panties and stand strong beside her.