“Sooo… Is he as good a kisser as I expected?”
“I don’t know what you’re—”
“Oh, no, no, no. I watched you two going at it on the dance floor, so don’t even think about lying to me. You don’t get to steal my man and then kiss and not tell.”
“I didn’t steal—”
She waves her hand in front of me, brushing aside my argument. “Was he good?”
I sigh, wondering how to describe him.
“Forget it, that sigh and the goofy eyes say it all.”
“It says nothing, B. He was a good kisser. It was fun. But that’s all this is.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because in case you’d forgotten, I’m not looking for a man, and especially not a one-night stand. I’ve got too much other stuff to worry about. I don’t need the whole ‘does he like me, doesn’t he? Is he going to call?’ thing adding to my stress.”
“But he could be the perfect stress relief.”
“Men always come with drama.”
“Only if you allow them to. Think about it… one hot night. Let him banish the tension that’s been pulling your muscles tight and then allow him to walk out the door, knowing you both got what you needed. Bam. End of. He’s happy. You’re happy. You can continue with your life.”
I sigh once more, but this time it’s not with memories of how his kiss felt. It’s heavy with the regret of my past. I know what Bailey is saying is right, but I’ve been there and done that. I know that one night of passion, of pushing my problems aside isn’t going to help in the long run. Hell knows I’ve tried.
I know she’s just trying to encourage me to enjoy myself but she’s no idea what it’s like for me. She might have been there with me through most of it but still, it’s not the same. And while she might think I can just have fun, I’m always terrified of falling back into old habits and returning to a side of me that I never want to visit again.
“Thanks, B. But I know what I’m doing.”
She gives me a sad smile as I walk away from the mirror. I know her heart’s in the right place. She just wants me to let my hair down and have some fun. It’s just easier said than done with the skeletons hiding in my closet.
“I trust you.”
I’m half expecting him to still be waiting for me when I step from the bathroom, but I’m pleasantly surprised when I don’t find him.
Making my way through the crowds of people, I head up the stairs in the hope of a new drink before I can wish Austin a happy birthday and sneak out while no one’s paying attention.
Without looking, I walk straight toward the bar. I only realize my mistake when I come to a stop beside the small gathering in front of it.
“Harlow, there you are. Bailey said she’d dragged you here, but I was beginning to think she was lying,” Austin says.
“Oh, she made quite the entrance. I’m surprised you missed it,” Colton announces much to everyone’s amusement.
“Yeah, I’m… uh… sorry about that,” I mutter, unable to look into his eyes.
“It’s fine. I’m used to it.”
“Stop bragging,” Austin says with a laugh. “Not all of us have women falling at our feet on a daily basis.” He’s clearly been filled in with all the mortifying details of my arrival.
Colton shrugs, not in the least bothered by their banter, while Corey assesses me with an amused smile on his face.
“Corey, have you met Harlow? She’s a fundraiser at Corporate Cares.”
“Yeah, you could say we’ve met.” He winks at me. Both Austin and Colton turn their attention from him to me, and I instantly start praying that the floor will swallow me up.
“Is that right?” Austin says, looking a little too intrigued.
“He just bought me a drink earlier.” I drop my eyes to the floor. Anyone who knows me even slightly would be able to tell I’m lying from a mile away, but I’m hardly going to announce that I let him dry hump me on the dance floor—it’s bad enough they could have watched.
Thankfully Rylee joins us, wrapping her arm around Colton’s waist and looking up at him like he’s God, which, to be fair, he kind of is.
A strong bolt of jealousy threatens to double me over. It’s not because she has him or anything—I know my previous infatuation with him was just that—but it’s the love that passes between them. It’s so pure, so honest. It reminds me of how my parents used to look at each other, and that thought alone is enough to have a ball of emotion growing in my throat faster than I can control.
“Sorry to be a party pooper, but we need to head off,” Rylee says sadly.
“Not at all. I’m so glad you could come.” I stand aside as Austin says his goodbyes and then mutter my own and manage to keep my hands to myself, unlike my inelegant welcome.
A weird tension settles between Corey and me as we watch the couple depart. When he turns back, he looks between Austin and me with his brows pulled tight.
“Drink?”
“Nah, man. It’s your night, I should be buying you the drinks.”
“I’m not going to argue with that.”
“Harlow?” he asks, his deep, rumbling voice vibrating through me. The effect it has on my body is enough to finalize the decision I’d already made while I was in the bathroom.
“No, thank you. I actually need to get going.”
Corey’s mouth opens like he wants to say something, to argue, but no words leave.
Austin’s name being called distracts us all.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Austin asks, taking a step away from us to greet whoever it is.
“I’ll bring your drink over,” Corey says as he leaves us.
He turns his dark eyes on me. The sight pulls at my insides, but I know leaving is the right thing to do. If I stay, I’ll end up drinking more, and I know I’ll make a decision in regards to him that I’ll regret in the morning. A night with him might be fun, but it’s not going to fix things, and I’m fed up of putting a Band-Aid over my issues and hoping they’ll be dealt with.
“Thanks for… tonight. It was fun.”
“Not fun enough to make you stay?” The little bit of hope in his eyes kills me. Maybe he is different, but going home with him tonight after just meeting him isn’t the way to test that. Finding a man is nowhere on my to-do list right now.
“I’m sorry, I just got—”
“It’s fine. If you need to go, then you need to go. Can I at least give you my number, should you change your mind?”
I chew on my bottom lip as I consider what to say, but before I know what I’m doing, I’m reaching into my purse for my cell.
I swipe the screen to wake it up, but nothing happens. Well, I guess that’s fate telling me this isn’t meant to be.
I might not always agree with how things turn out or be able to find a rational reason for them, but I do believe in fate and that everything happens for a reason.
“I’m sorry,” I say, holding my dead cell up to show him. “Battery’s dead.”
Dropping it back into my purse, I don’t notice he’s moved until I look back up and find him waving to the bartender.