Prologue
Two Hundred-and Twenty-Years B.C. (Before Choosing)
I sit on the fallen log deep in the forest, stroking my hand along it, feeling the decay that eats away at the once great tree. It’d fallen so long ago, now nothing more than a nice place to sit, but it still pains me to feel the echoes of agony it went through when it fell. It’s natural for a tree to die, but nothing in Neverland is truly natural. This tree had once been brutally murdered, knocked down by some magic before its time, so I offer my condolences while I sit to collect my thoughts.
I hear the approach before I sense him, the trees warning me I’m no longer alone during my rest. I can hear it in the way their branches shake, in the way the leaves shuffle against each other. They tremble and whisper. He comes, child. He comes. . .
“What do you want?” I ask out loud, tilting my chin up as I stare into the darkness of the trees. There’s no sun here, never sunlight, but sometimes, if I squinted hard enough in the darkness, I could see the stars.
“Why are you sitting all the way out here, Tiger Lily?” His voice comes out a purr, as it always does. He can never talk without sounding like a walking seduction, but there’s the underlying danger in the sound that almost negates the smoothness.
I glance over at the mischievous and troublesome teenager sitting beside me. It’s as if he’s been sitting with me the entire time, here one second when he hadn’t been before. Sometimes, I wonder if he’s a phantom. Peter is a test in nerves and patience. Long ago, when I’d first been crowned Chieftess, I’d once allowed him to sneak up on me, just to see if he could. As it turned out, Peter is just as stealthy as I am; he’d popped in and pressed a playful kiss against my lips in the split second before I could move. It became a sort of game for a while, until Peter grew tired of it.
He only grew tired of it because he stopped winning, though.
“I came for some peace,” I finally answer the demon next to me, and he is a demon. Peter is many things, but good isn’t one of them, not wholly. There are limits to what he will do for another, and almost always, he has to get something out of it for it to be worth his while. It could be something as simple as curiosity or amusement. It could be something worse if he’s in a darker mood. Depending on Peter Pan is like depending on a tsunami; chaotic and destructive.
“Then you won’t mind if I join you while you sit in the darkness.”
Turning, I narrow my eyes on the red-headed demon, easily one of the worst monsters in Neverland. And yet, I’d still consider him somewhat of a friend. “What is it you want, Pan?”
“Maybe I missed you.” Peter grins and I roll my eyes at his ridiculous statement.
“And maybe we’ll all suddenly get old and die,” I spat. “Be honest if you’re going to interrupt my peace.”
His blue eyes shine even in the darkness, as if some power comes from inside their depths to always light the way. It’s unnerving for them to be so bright while everything else is washed in shadows around us. Peter and I are frozen at roughly the same age, sixteen judging by our appearances, but that’s where the similarities end. While I’m dressed in the clothing of my people, my headdress perched easily on my head, Peter only wears green leathers. The color makes the red curls of his hair stand out even more as they hang down roguishly over his forehead. If Peter wasn’t such a demon, if he wasn’t such a risk, well, he would be attractive. I know better, but it still doesn’t eliminate my body’s reaction to him. I always did like danger.
“It’s strange, isn’t it?” Peter murmurs, looking away from my curious gaze to stare off into the same darkness I had been for the last hour.
“What is?”
“That the darkness seems to follow you wherever you go.”
“Neverland is dark,” I answer, shrugging my shoulders. “It’s inevitable that there be darkness.”
Peter smiles, and for once, it lacks some of the mischief he always carries with him. “That’s not the kind of dark I mean, and you know it, Chieftess.”
Something feels heavy about him then, as if something worse is happening beneath his skin that I can’t see, and it worries me. Peter has a role to complete in Neverland, an important one. If he suddenly decides he’s bored of the game, I’d hate to see what happened to the world.
“Which darkness are you addressing?” I murmur, looking away from the too-intelligent eyes. “If you’re not speaking of what’s around us.”
Strong fingers cup my chin and tilt my head back until I meet those glowing eyes. Such a danger, Peter Pan is. “The kind that eats us from the inside out, Lily.”
I should be mad he touched me. Neverland is a strange world with backwards rules. Happy thoughts are dangerous. Touching without permission is frowned up. We all have our rules. But the way Peter’s rough fingers feel on my skin surprises me because I like it. I’m no stranger to intimacies, but Peter has always been a creature more than human. Right now, he feels more human than I’ve ever seen him.
“What do you know of my darkness, Pan?”
He smiles, the cocksure smile I always liked but frustrates me to no end. Then he reaches down to my hand where I brace it on the fallen trunk and laces his fingers with mine. His hand is warm, comforting, and it shouldn’t be. It really shouldn’t be. I should gut him for daring to touch me so freely.
“What in the Great Spirit are you doing?”
He grins. “You asked what I know of your darkness.”
“I did.” My brows furrow in confusion, always the trickster avoiding the answer, but when I’m ready to give up and chase him away, Peter surprises me again.
His fingers squeeze mine gently, in comfort. “I know when the darkness gets too heavy, it’s nice to have company.” When he bumps his shoulder against mine, it feels far more intimate than it ever has with the boy who causes nothing but trouble. I should be concerned, but instead, I hold his hand back. “When your darkness begins to eat away at who you are, when it’s too hard to find the light, I’ll sit with you in the dark, Lily. All you have to do is ask.”
I stare at Peter, confused why he would offer such a thing to me, but I don’t question it right then. As the sounds of the forest breathing reaches my ears, and the heartbeat of the very land itself tickles my throat, I knew that Peter is right.
It is nice to have company to sit in the darkness with.
And that should scare me, but I am a Chieftess, and fear is not something I’m privileged enough to feel.
Chapter One
The giggles wake me from my sleep, and I realize far too quickly who they belong to. I stumble out of my tent in a panic, worried no one is watching the child, only to find a handful of the Tribe sitting around the camp, their eyes locked on the tiny child currently prancing around the fire. A few clap as she chants some sort of song. Most look as tired as I feel.
“She wouldn’t sleep, Chieftess,” Bear murmurs, his eyes heavy. The poor man has been on lookout duty all night, watching for any signs of trouble. He needs his sleep, but he forfeited it to make sure Aniya is safe. He always did, always going out of his way to help with Aniya, to make sure she is safe and happy.