PART ONE
SYSTEM OF A DOWN
Chapter 1
Awakening
SYSTEM MESSAGE: You've slept through the announcements, and the rules say they can't be replayed. Sorry, Sleepyhead!
Sometimes I had dreams about magic. Sometimes I had dreams about video games. Once I even had a dream I was my magic-using World of Warcraft character. (Shut up.)
I had never had a dream with words floating in the air in front of me while I was laying in bed trying to wake up before. This was new. I finished reading and blinked. The message disappeared and a new one replaced it.
SYSTEM MESSAGE: However, because you were dumb enough to be in an area that is going to have quite a bit of Mana at System Start, you're entitled to a little help. Think or say "Status" to view your status information and you will automatically be given access to your Bonus Selections.
After I finished reading, this message also disappeared. I blinked again and looked around. The sun was blasting through the windows of the vacation house me and some… Internet friends… had rented for a long weekend, and everything was covered with light so sharp it almost felt like a physical thing. Everything in the room was sharp, hyper-focused. Which, it occurred to me, was strange, because I wasn't wearing my glasses. Everything farther away than the adorable redhead lying next to me, dead to the world, should have been various levels of fuzzy. I reached out and put them on. The room lost its sharpness.
SYSTEM MESSAGE: Note that after System Start all physical infirmities are automatically healed by the passage of time. Whatever doesn't kill you fast, won't kill you at all. As a one-time bonus at System Start, this includes missing limbs, organs, and all other pre-existing conditions. (If any insurance company executives are still alive, they're probably pretty upset.) This information is displayed in response to people trying to use glasses, hearing aids, prosthetics, or other things made unnecessary by System-based healing abilities.
I took the glasses off and the room snapped back into focus. Shaking my head, I set them back on the nightstand and shook the cutie lying next to me by the shoulder.
"Wake up..."
Oh, shit.
What was her name again?
Her real name, I meant. I knew her online name - Sleepyrella - but this seemed to call for something a little more formal. And it wouldn't come to me.
Damn, damn, da... Danielle! That was it.
"Danielle. Wake up. Something really weird is happening."
She grumbled reflexively. Heavy sleeper. Ironic, that.
Well, it’s worth a shot…
"Danielle, WAKE!" As I spoke in a firm voice, I snapped my fingers as loud as I could. Which is pretty loud. I've had a lot of practice.
She sat bolt upright, eyes wide.
"HUH?" She shook her head. "What's that..." With a squint, she read what I assumed were her own floating words. "System message?" Big blue eyes turned to mine suspiciously. "Did you do this? I did not give you permission to give me suggestions that would last past last night." She was starting to look pissed off.
"I swear to you I did not do this. I saw it too, and I didn't even trance last night." Which was true. Our little gaggle of online, um, recreational hypnotists had subjects, switches... and me. I don't trance for others. Never have been able to, try as I might.
I may have control issues.
"It said that I'd missed some kind of announcement. Then it said something about a bonus if I said, 'Status...'" Her eyes defocused again. "There's more words. It looks like some kind of video game shit. I don't do video games. What's happening?"
"Okay, don't pick anything," I said quickly. I love video games. And I was starting to get an awful feeling. "Read whatever you want, but don't select anything, don't say 'accept,' don't..."
"Accept? Why... Okay, the words changed. It says, "Bonus selected: Magical Catgirl Form. You can become a catgirl with the help of a Mesmerist. Unlike most anthropomorphic forms, this is completely reversible and can be used an unlimited number of times." She focused on me again. "What the Hell does that mean?"
My heart sank. This... System... was either set up by retired computer programmers or somebody with a terrible sense of humor. Or both.
"Okay, hang on. Give me a second. Please. In fact... sleep." I tapped her on the shoulder as I said that last word, and she shuddered, then went limp.
"That's it, Danielle. Thank you for trusting me." My voice was firm, but soothing. "I'm going to figure out my message, and then we'll go find the others and see if this is happening to everybody else. Just breathe. I'll be quick. You relax." Her body sprawled out on the bed and her breathing became slow and deep.
I let out an internal ’whew.’ She and I had been talking online for months. After meeting for the first time “IRL” - In Real Life - yesterday, we'd had great rapport at the party and even more in our private… session, but as freaked out as she was I was kind of surprised she accepted the command to go into trance. Hypnotism isn't magic, after all. If they don't want it to work, it won't. I shrugged and decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"Status," I said after a deep breath. Lines of text in a gridded box appeared before me.
Name:
James Erickson
Class:
None Chosen
Level:
0
Hit Points:
90 (4/Min)
Mana:
150 (6/Min)
Stamina:
95 (5/Min)
Attributes
Strength: 10
Intelligence: 15
Wisdom: 11
Dexterity: 10
Constitution: 9
Charisma: 10
Class Skills
None
General Skills
Hypnosis (Master)
Meditation (Int.)
It was utilitarian to the point of being primitive. "What the Hell? Why is this so basic?" I muttered as I reviewed the numbers. Apparently something heard me.
SYSTEM MESSAGE: Part of the System interface includes what you people call ‘intelligent agents.’ This interface displays information in the most efficient way possible given the perceived desire of the user. It can be reconfigured within limits. This information is displayed in response to people who don't appreciate it properly. You want it better, fix it yourself.
"What? Why is it such a smartass if it's just an AI?" Five minutes in and I was talking to words only I could see. Part of me wondered if this was what it was like when a hypnotist messed with your perception.
SYSTEM MESSAGE: The System interface is not an artificial intelligence. It is an intelligent agent that responds to patterns of behavior, including those read from you at System Start. In other words, it talks to you in a way designed to get your attention. This information is displayed in response to people who don't know the difference between a well-designed interface and Skynet. If you want more information, read a book.
“I know what an intell… never mind. Now what?”