“I didn’t think I’d be able to handle the extra workload,” she mumbled, tucking her hands under her thighs and sitting on them to keep them still.
“I think you’re capable of much more than you are willing to admit,” Hergie said, frowning. “I know you aren’t lazy, Helen. I also know you are one of the brightest students in your class. So what’s keeping you from taking advantage of all that this educational system has to offer you?”
“I have to work,” she said with a helpless shrug. “I need to save up if I want to go to college.”
“If you take AP classes and do well on your SATs, you will stand a better chance of getting enough money for school through a scholarship than by working for minimum wage at your father’s shop.”
“My dad needs me. We aren’t rich like everyone else on this island, but we are there for each other,” she said defensively.
“That’s very admirable of you both, Helen,” Hergie replied in a serious tone. “But you are reaching the end of your high school years and it’s time to start thinking about your own future.”
“I know,” Helen said, nodding. She could see from the worry puckering his face that he cared, and that he was just trying to help. “I think I should get a pretty good athletic scholarship for track. I got much faster over the summer. Really.”
Mr. Hergeshimer stared at her earnest face begging him to let it go, and finally conceded. “All right. But if you feel like you need more of an academic challenge, you are welcome to join my AP English class at any point this semester.”
“Thank you, Mr. Hergeshimer. If I feel like I can handle AP, I’ll come to you,” Helen said, grateful to be let off the hook.
As she went back to her desk, it occurred to her that she had to keep Hergie and her father away from each other at all costs. She didn’t want them comparing notes and deciding that she needed to be in special classes and go out for special awards. Even the thought gave her a bellyache. Why couldn’t they all just ignore her? Secretly, Helen had always felt she was different, but she thought she had done a pretty good job of hiding it her whole life. Apparently, without realizing it, she’d been sending out hints of that buried freak inside of her. She had to try to keep her head down, but she wondered how she was going to do that when she kept getting taller and taller every damn day.
“What’s up?” Claire asked as soon as Helen returned to her seat.
“Just another motivational moment from Hergie. He doesn’t think I’m applying myself,” Helen said as breezily as she could.
“You don’t apply yourself. You never do your work,” Zach replied, more offended than he should have been.
“Shut it, Zach,” Claire said, crossing her arms belligerently. She turned and faced Helen. “It’s true, though, Lennie,” she told her apologetically. “You never do your work.”
“Yeah, yeah. You can both shut it,” Helen said, chuckling. The bell rang and she gathered her things. Matt Millis gave her a smile but hurried away as they left the room. Feeling guilty, Helen realized that she hadn’t spoken to him yet. She hadn’t meant to ignore him, especially not on the first day of school.
According to Claire, “everyone” knew that Matt and Helen were “supposed” to be together. Matt was intelligent, good looking, and captain of the golf team. He was still sort of a geek, but because Helen was practically a pariah ever since Gretchen had started spreading rumors about her, it was a compliment that everyone thought she was good enough for someone like Matt.
Unfortunately, Helen never felt anything special for him. Zero tingles. The one time they had been shoved into a closet together at a party to make out, it had been disastrous. Helen felt like she was kissing her brother, and Matt felt like he was being rejected. Afterward, he was sweet about it, but no matter how many times he cracked jokes, there was a weird tension between them. She really missed him but she worried that if she told him he would take it the wrong way. It feels like everything I do lately is being taken the wrong way, Helen thought.
The rest of the morning Helen wandered on autopilot from class to class. She couldn’t concentrate on much of anything, and every time she tried to make herself focus she felt nothing but irritation.
Something about the day was off. Everyone—from her favorite teachers to the few acquaintances she should have been happy to see—was annoying her, and every now and again while she was walking down the hall she would suddenly feel like she was inside an airplane at ten thousand feet. Her inner ears would block up, all the sounds around her would become muffled, and her head would get hot. Then, as suddenly as it had come on, the discomfort would go away. But even still, there was a pressure, a pre-thunderstorm energy all around her, even though the skies were lovely and blue.
It got worse at lunch. She tore into her sandwich thinking that her headache was the result of low blood sugar, but she was wrong. Jerry had packed her favorite sandwich—smoked turkey, green apple, and brie on a baguette—but she couldn’t force herself to take more than a bite. She spat it out.
“Your dad make another dud?” Claire asked. When Jerry had first partnered up with Kate he’d started experimenting with creative lunches. The Vegemite and Cucumber Disaster of Freshman Year was legendary at their table.
“No, it’s good old number three. I just can’t eat it,” Helen said, shoving it away. Claire gleefully picked up the remainder and started eating it.
“Mmm, ’is really good,” she mumbled around a full mouth. “Us a ’atter?”
“I just don’t feel right,” Helen said.
Claire stopped chewing and gave her a worried look.
“I’m not sick. You can go ahead and swallow,” Helen assured her quickly. She saw Matt approaching and chirped, “Hey!” trying to make up for that morning.
He was deep in conversation with Gretchen and Zach and didn’t respond, but still came to his habitual spot at the geek table. Both Gretchen and Zach were so engrossed in what they were saying that they didn’t notice that they had wandered into geek territory.
“I heard they were movie stars in Europe,” Zach was saying.
“Where did you hear that?” Matt asked, incredulous. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I heard from at least two other people that Ariadne was a model. She’s certainly pretty enough,” Zach argued passionately, hating to be wrong about anything, even gossip.
“Please. She’s nowhere near thin enough to be a model,” Gretchen hissed bitterly, before catching herself and adding, “Of course I think she’s pretty, if you go for that exotic, voluptuous look. But she’s nothing compared to her twin, Jason—or her cousin! Lucas is just unreal,” she gushed.
The boys shared a knowing look but silently agreed that they were outnumbered by girls and should probably let it go.
“Jason is almost too pretty,” Claire decided solemnly, after giving it a moment’s thought. “Lucas, however, is an über-babe. Quite possibly the most beautiful boy I’ve ever seen. And Ariadne is a stone-cold fox, Gretchen. You’re just jealous.”
Gretchen gave an exasperated huff and rested a fist on her hip. “Like you’re not,” was all she had for a comeback.