Prologue
Noel’s phone chimed in his pocket, and he retrieved it only to sigh in exasperation. Malachi’s name flashed on the screen, and it took all of Noel’s self-control to delete the message without reading it. As toxic as the male was, he was Noel’s kryptonite. Always had been.
The ping of another incoming message lured Noel in, and he caved, peeking at the texts.
* * *
Malachi: Just a coffee.
* * *
Ha! It was never “just a coffee.”
* * *
Malachi: I miss you.
* * *
At the words, Noel’s heart twisted, and his fingers hovered over the screen. He wanted to reply, wanted to throw those words back in Malachi’s face, but responding—even in anger—was a slippery slope. It would start out vindictive and end with Noel under Malachi’s body, agreeing to try again.
But trying again always led to the same ending, to black and blue betrayals and broken hearts. He had to be stronger this time. He would be stronger this time. If for no other reason than to keep his Other off his back.
Jai would be furious if he found out that Malachi was texting Noel again. He was overprotective in the best of times, but when it came to Malachi and Noel’s constant on-again-off-again, he was practically unreasonable.
It wasn’t like Noel could blame him. Jai was like an extension of himself. No matter how much they drove each other insane, they were bonded for eternity, two halves to a whole, forever connected. In all honesty, Jai couldn’t really help the bone-deep need to look out for Noel, his Other. Noel was just as fiercely loyal; he would die for his Other in the same way he would die for his ward.
But being an Other was complicated.
Leaving Malachi’s messages unanswered, Noel tucked his phone into his pocket. He tiptoed down the hall, following the invisible thread of his Other bond, and peeked through the crack in Jai’s door. Jai sat at the edge of his bed beside a Riley-shaped lump snuggled under a mound of blankets. Hand sifting through Riley’s mahogany curls, Noel’s Other hummed under his breath, an angelic lullaby Noel hadn’t heard in centuries.
Noel didn’t need to use the bond to catch Jai’s attention—the dark angel sensed his Other’s presence almost instantly—but he gave a polite tug on the thread all the same. Dark eyes lifted, and Jai cocked a questioning brow.
What’s up?
There were no words spoken, aloud or telepathically, but Noel had spent his entire existence with the male. Combined with their bond, it was easy to communicate simple things without speaking a word.
Inclining his head toward the hallway, Noel backed away from the door. In the living room. Jai nodded, turning his attention back to their sleeping ward as he finished the last bar of the lullaby.
The most tender expression flickered over Jai’s face, and Noel paused in his retreat, watching closely. Jai was not a cruel male, but he was harsh, rough around the edges. Brutal in his honesty and loyalty, he tended to bulldoze those closest to him—Noel included—all in the name of good intentions.
But that look right there… Noel couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen it on his Other’s face. As much as Jai completed Noel, he was overbearing and pushy. But with Riley, Jai was almost… gentle. And Maker help him, it rankled.
Why? Noel couldn’t say. Maybe because Jai rarely turned such tenderness toward him. Not that he needed soft handling, especially by his Other. But for all their quarreling and insults, they were family—closer, really. Soulmates. And seeing his Other look at another with such fondness turned him green with envy.
Or maybe he just didn’t appreciate the way Jai’s fingers caressed the soft line of Riley’s jaw. Which was entirely ridiculous. It was the late hour, lack of sleep, and stress over Gideon’s current whereabouts that caused such a silly reaction. Yes, that had to be it.
As he shoved away the absurd emotion, Noel lowered himself to the couch and loosened his hair from the too-tight braid he’d fastened earlier. The dull ache at the base of his skull eased as the white strands curtained his shoulders. He ran his fingers through the stick-straight locks, untangling the snags.
He didn’t have to look up to know Jai had entered the room. Heady dokha filtered through the air as the glass patio door slid open. A lighter clicked, and Noel could almost feel the burn of Jai’s first smoky inhale. Maker, he hated the overwhelming scent of smoke that clung to Jai’s clothes thanks to the nasty habit. And yet… a drag sounded kind of nice right about now.
“Gid call yet?” Jai asked as he blew smoke rings into the backyard.
A glance at his phone revealed nothing but a few more messages from Malachi, and Noel stood with a sigh. “Not yet.” Joining Jai at the patio door, Noel leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms over his chest. “When are you gonna stop smoking?”
His Other smirked, his dark eyes flickering with a fire deep within as he sucked on the medwakh. “Seeing as it can’t kill me, probably never.”
Jai angled his ashy exhale outside before offering Noel the smoking pipe. Ever the hypocrite, Noel bent forward and wrapped his lips around the end, his mouth brushing Jai’s fingers. He inhaled, the acrid smoke searing his lungs. He relished the burn for a moment before blowing it out in a huff.
“Too bad this doesn’t get us high.”
A guffaw punched from Jai’s chest. “I could track down some salvia. I know a guy.”
“We all know that guy, and Beau won’t sell you any unless you put out.” Noel took another drag as Jai grimaced.
“I’m not fucking him for all the salvia in the forests of Asphodel.” Jai clacked his piercing against his teeth. “Plus, Riley would have a conniption if he woke up to us smoking sacred herbs in the living room.”
“He’d probably fear for our souls or something.” The joke soured on Noel’s tongue, and he frowned at the clouds rolling through the night sky. “Hellfire, how could we be so blind, Jai? He was punishing himself, and we didn’t notice.”
With a harsh grunt, Jai emptied the medwakh and stamped the smoldering tobacco until it was nothing but ash. “We’re not mind readers, No. And we can’t be with him every second. That’s not fair to any of us.”
“Fuck fair. He’s bulimic for Trinity’s sake!” Noel waved wildly in the direction of where Riley slept. “I told you he was losing weight—”
“Oh, so it’s my fault he’s been throwing up his meals and freezing himself in cold showers?” Flames erupted in Jai’s umber irises, his olive skin flushing with anger. “I wasn’t the one that left him to the mercy of that psychotic bitch!”
Like always, the argument sparked quickly, and Noel jumped on the defensive. “I wasn’t, either. We were following orders.”
“Yeah, well, fuck orders! My loyalty is to my ward, not some fucked up Thrones who mistook a bad acid trip for a vision,” Jai snarled.
The blasphemy shocked Noel from his anger, and he stepped back. “They’ll strip you of your title. Jai, they could take your wings if they hear you talking like this.”