There was no arguing with him. Not until new information came to light. “Why did you drag me here?” I crossed my arms defensively. “You agree with Luena, don’t you?”
He blinked sharply, probably at the sudden change in subject. “Of course I agree with her. This is an Academy that trains warriors. Demons who are willing to die and watch their comrades die if need be.”
“They’re children!” I bridged the distance between us and lifted my chin to look into his eyes. “Children, Conah. They lost their friend. They have no parents. They’re alone.” Anger and sorrow joined forces to choke off my words. My eyes burned with frustration. “Fuck it. They deserve to be loved and taken care of.”
I looked up at him through a sheen of unshed tears. Tears for Fredrin. Tears for Clayna and Palin. Tears for the fact that deep down, I knew there was nothing I could do, that death would find them one way or another. Tears of impotence because, despite my position as a Dominus, there was nothing I could do to shield the next generation.
Conah’s expression softened, and his sapphire eyes darkened as he swept his gaze over my face. “There is no room for compassion on the battlefield.” He said the words softly, leaning in so that his forehead kissed mine. “You have so much of it, Fee. It’s warm, inviting, and safe, and these children … They will be drawn to you …” His finger skimmed down my cheek. “They will be lulled into a false sense of security that will eventually get them killed.” I got the impression he wasn’t just talking about the children, but it was hard to think when he was sweeping his thumb across the base of my throat. Shivers radiated out from the contact, down over my breasts to tighten my nipples into aching nubs. “Because the real world,“ he continued, “our world, is a cutthroat place where the only commodity that matters is power.”
He was too close, cocooning me with his presence and the energy that was uniquely him. My pulse thudded hard in my throat, each beat drawing moisture from my mouth to leave it dry. I needed to move away, to put distance between us, but my feet remained rooted to the spot, and my breath remained trapped in my lungs.
Our noses brushed, mouths parting a mere inch apart. I wanted him to kiss me. I needed him to kiss me. I wanted his tongue in my mouth. I wanted to taste him. It would be so easy to slip, to tilt my chin up a fraction in acquiescence and take what I wanted. No blame, no judgment, no one to see. Just us, in this room.
I could have him.
Kiara’s smiling face flashed in my mind, acting like the icy wind on the pinnacle. A stone settled on my chest, and I tucked in my chin, breaking contact.
The door slammed open, and Mal stood on the threshold. His attention went from my face to Conah. His emerald eyes flashed, and a pang of fear shot through me, but then he was smiling his cocky smile.
“There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere.” He walked over to the window and leaned against the sill. “Wait for me in the courtyard, Fee. Conah and I have some business to discuss.”
It was an order, and although part of me balked at that and wanted to argue, the bigger part, the ashamed part, was happy to skulk quickly from the room. I closed the door and was about to walk away when Mal’s angry tone stopped me in my tracks.
“Keep your dick in your pants, Con,” he said. “You know what’s at fucking stake if you don’t.”
“Why, so you can have her?” Conah’s tone was bitter.
“Fucking hell, you have it bad, don’t you? Does Kiara know how you feel? It’s only a matter of time until she figures it out.”
I could hear them perfectly. How thin were these doors? No, wait. The door was solid. It was my hearing. My senses were sharper. Eavesdropping had never been my thing. Okay, so it totally was, and I wasn’t even ashamed as I tuned back in to listen.
“I won’t hurt her,” Conah said. “Kiara is important to me.”
“Is that why you almost had your tongue down our delectable Dominus’s throat a moment ago?”
Silence.
“Oh, fuck,” Mal said softly. “You don’t love her, do you? Does she know?”
“I do love her,” Conah said. “She’s my soulmate.”
“Uh-huh, and what would you have done if I hadn’t interrupted you just now?”
“She pulled away. Nothing happened.”
“At least she has the decency to back off. Fucking hell, brother. You’re the key to peace. You fuck this up, and there will be war.”
“I know. I won’t. I’ll stay away.”
“You fucking better. We don’t know what effect another trauma could have on her.”
Huh? Were they talking about Kiara or me?
“She’s not broken,” Conah said. “She’s the strongest woman I know.”
“Oh, boy.” Mal sounded disgusted. “Pull your shit together, tuck your dick into your pants, and man the fuck up.”
Fuck, he was headed this way. I turned and ran.
I made it back to the courtyard before him, but I was still breathing heavily when he joined me.
He looked at me strangely.
I made a meh face. “I did a couple of laps.”
He shrugged. “Let’s go.”
“I want to say bye to the children first.”
“Luena has made it clear you’re not to spend time with the demon spawn.”
My heart sank. “Mal, they need me.”
“No, Fee, they don’t. This is the way we do things, and you need to fall in line or stay away. The reapers aren’t simply soul collectors. We are Lilith’s army. We’ve seen many wars, and any peace is always tentative and temporary. This works, so leave it be.”
Just because it worked didn’t mean there wasn’t a better way of doing things. I opened my mouth to say as much, but Mal held up his hand.
“Enough, Fee. You have a fucking job to do. How about you focus on that, eh?”
Once again, shame stung my cheeks. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms stiffly around his neck.
“Let’s go.”
My body was tense, thrumming with frustration. His sigh echoed through me, and then he wrapped his arms around me and held me. My brain froze, and for a moment, I didn’t comprehend what he was doing.
And then the reality of this moment filtered into my shocked brain. Mal, arrogant, cocky, loved-himself Mal, was hugging me.
He was hugging me, and I had no idea what to do with that.
Chapter Four
Neither of us spoke on the way to the human realm. It was that time of the week where I checked in on the house. The house I’d bought outright. The one that I’d paid Lucas wads of money for so I could keep.
The house had been unlived in all month, and it would probably remain that way because Mal had been right about life never being the same again for me.
The fact that my life was linked to Lilith’s wellbeing, which in turn was linked to Azazel being successful at keeping me breathing, meant that living in the human realm held too many risks for me.
The human realm was where the Dread spent most of their time. It was where the vampires that could wound and weaken me, and the mouths that could tear me to shreds hid out. I was stronger than before, faster, and I could throw a great punch, but I wasn’t up to par with the Dominus. Not yet. But I was determined to get there.