Ooh, well-played. But I was sticking to my guns on this one. “No. No, I don’t.” I yanked the collar of my top down to expose the mark. “It’s fading. It’ll be gone soon, so shut up about it.”
She stared at the mark and pressed her lips together. “Fucksake, woman, that doesn’t change the fact that it was there. It doesn’t change the fact that Az is your soulmate.”
A shiver skated up my spine. “I don’t need a soulmate.”
The concept scared the shit out of me. Especially since Cora had done some sleuthing, and by sleuthing, I meant chatting up the locals to get the full deets on what a soul mark actually was. It turns out that a soul mark needed to be confirmed. You were literally binding your soul to another.
Both parties had to accept the bond in a special ceremony. I didn’t know what happened if you ignored the mark or failed to do the binding, but I figured it would just go away. I needed it to go away because the thought of being soul connected to anyone, especially someone as closed off and detached as Azazel, scared the shit out of me. I was a demon raised as a human, and I doubted I’d ever see things the way they did, and to be tethered to one …
They were either cold or full-on. They loved with no holds barred and hated with every fiber of their being. Compassion wasn’t a warrior trait. It was reserved for the hearth. But they did prize their brood mothers—nannies who took care of the demon spawn for the nobility.
It seemed all or nothing with very little gray, and for someone who was used to compromise, to finding the middle ground, it was all a little too much. Besides, wasn’t it enough that I was bound to a celestial scythe?
“I just want to find the bad guys and kill them, hopefully managing to stay alive in the process so as not to fuck up Lilith, you know, the queen of the underworld.”
Cora dropped her arms to her sides, and the tightness in my chest eased a little. She was no longer in combat mode.
“I just want you to be safe,” she said. “And that mark … Being bound to Azazel could keep you safe.”
“He’s cursed to protect me. Trust me, he’ll keep me safe.”
“I know, but that’s a curse. He has no choice but to protect you, but what if he wanted to protect you?”
I snorted. “Because I’m his soulmate? Honestly, I doubt that would make a difference. He hasn’t acted any nicer toward me since I got the mark. Heck, this mark’s probably a glitch.”
“Or it needs to be activated with the ceremony for him to feel the connection,” Cora pointed out.
How had we got back to this? Annoyance flared in my chest. I drew a calming breath. She was thinking about my life. About what was best for me like she always did. Hell, she’d asked Mal to arrange three months of leave for her with Soul Savers so she could stay with me until I got used to the gig, and there was no doubt that she’d made being here easier. But the topic of the soul mark was closed.
“I’m done talking about this.” There was steel in my voice. “I have more important shit to focus on. A child died.”
“And it wasn’t your fault.”
“No. But if I’d pulled my finger out and trained harder from the start, then maybe I’d have been faster, stronger, something … Maybe I could have saved him.”
“Fee—”
“No, Cora. It’s my job to make sure that never happens again. Not on my fucking watch.”
I brushed past her into the corridor beyond and strode toward the steps. I loved Cora, God knows I loved her, but I needed space to grow into this new role on my terms.
I took the stairs two at a time and walked smack bang into a solid chest. My gaze shot up to meet sapphire.
“Conah …” Oh, fuck.
Chapter Two
It was a miracle I’d outmaneuvered Conah for so long. A miracle I’d managed to avoid this conversation, the one that was hovering on his parted lips.
“Hey, you …” I sidestepped him with a bright smile on my face, but he mirrored me. “I need to get pas—"
He gripped my biceps. “Not today, Fee. Today, we talk.” He grabbed my arm and tugged me down the corridor. I should have pulled free, but the rational part of me, the part that knew this needed to happen, put the brakes on evasive action. He led me up another flight of stairs and through a set of ornate double doors. A huge bed dominated the room, and the scent of jasmine—Kiara’s scent—hung heavy in the air.
She’d been in this room with him.
They’d been in this room. Together.
What was I doing? I didn’t belong in here. I yanked my arm from his grasp. “I doubt Kiara would like me being in here with you.”
His jaw tightened. “Fee, I’m sorry. I should have told you about her.”
And there it was, the admission that proved that it hadn’t all been in my head. It was a weight lifted off my shoulders to know that whatever I’d felt between us hadn’t been one-sided.
“Yeah, you should have. But it’s okay. I’m fine, and I’m happy for you. Kiara is a wonderful person, demon, whatever.” I took a breath. Calm it down, Fee. “She’s really nice.”
He smiled tentatively. “I noticed you two have been spending a lot of time together.”
I shrugged. “We click. Like I said, she’s nice, and she bakes, so …”
He looked relieved. “I’m glad you two are friends. I care about you, Fee, more than I …” He pursed his lips and was silent for a long beat. “Cards on the table,” he continued. “I’m attracted to you, but attraction fades, and what I have with Kiara is a soul bond. Our betrothal ensures peace between the kingdoms.”
God, this was awkward and embarrassing, and shit, I wanted it over. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I get the picture. I understood as soon as Kiara got here. Nothing happened between us, Conah. It’s fine. We’re good.”
The words had a cathartic effect, and in that moment, I truly felt good. This had been an attraction, nothing more. Shit happened. People got over it. Simple.
I turned toward the door, but he grabbed my arm again.
“So, why were you avoiding me?” he demanded.
Why did he look pissed off? Why was he in my personal space? Shit, he was too close to ignore. My body, which so far had been dormant, flared to life with awareness. My breath came faster, my skin flushed with heat, and my eyes focused on his mouth.
“Fee …” His voice was a rasp of hunger and longing.
I closed my eyes and exhaled through my nose, blocking out my traitorous body’s response. “I’ve been avoiding you because I was embarrassed, okay. I needed some space and time.” I looked straight ahead at his chest. “You’re too close. I stink. I need a shower.” I tried to pull free, but he held on.
“I like the way you smell,” he said.
My heart flipped, and my stomach did a forward roll. “No. Nope. You can’t say shit like that to me.”
He released me. His mouth parted as if he was shocked at his own words. He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”
And therein lay the problem. I backed away. “Yeah, so am I.”