Although...he could still do that, but maybe instead of wine, he could have a snifter of brandy.
Quietly, he walked down the hall to the dining room and said a prayer of thanks that he’d locked the liquor cabinet. No doubt last night’s party would have cleaned him out.
Two minutes later, he was back in the bedroom with the door shut, staring out at the city.
Lately, whenever he found himself in this kind of mood, his mind instantly went to a line of “what ifs”. What if he hadn’t moved from Long Island to L.A. when he was nineteen? What if he hadn’t pursued a career in music management? What if he hadn’t put his career and his clients’ careers above everything else?
But the biggest one was...
What if he hadn’t walked away from Sienna?
She’d been young; too young for him. They’d done nothing more than have a single kiss, and yet... all these years later—twenty-three, to be exact—and she still held a prominent spot in his mind.
With all his wealth and connections, the one thing Mick had never done was look her up. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle knowing that she was happily married with a bunch of kids and having the kind of life she had wanted with him.
Shit.
Closing his eyes, Mick let his mind wander back to the day he had said goodbye to her. He was so cocky and arrogant—he knew he was going to be a huge success, and settling down in a small town just wasn’t what he wanted. Sienna had wanted to go with him, but she was young and somewhat off-limits. The younger sister of one of his good friends. She was brilliant and beautiful and had an incredible future ahead of her. At the time, she’d barely been sixteen, and there was no way she could have gone with him. But if she had, he would have destroyed everything she was working toward.
He could still see those jade green eyes filled with tears as she begged him not to go.
“You’re going to go to college and do something brilliant,” he’d told her. “And I’m going to go to L.A. completely blind. I have no idea where I’m going to work or where I’m going to live, so... really, it wouldn’t be right for you to come with me. Not right now.”
“But... what if you found those things as soon as you got there? Would you want me to join you?” She paused. “Please. Please, Michael. I don’t care about college. I love you. I want us to be together.”
She’d never been shy about her feelings for him and honestly, he thought she’d outgrow it. But that day, as they sat in the gazebo in her parents’ backyard, she’d dropped the bombshell on him.
She loved him.
And then she’d kissed him senseless and left him more than a little dazed. He knew the instant she realized he wasn’t going to stay, and she wasn’t leaving with him.
She’d stood up with all the regal grace of a queen before looking at him one last time.
“Be well, Michael. I hope you achieve everything you’ve been dreaming of.”
Sienna was the last person to call him by his given name. As soon as he’d hit L.A., he’d gone by Mick. It was cooler and much more fitting for the music industry. And as ridiculous as it sounded, it worked for him. Michael Tyler hopped on a cross-country bus on Long Island, and by the time it crossed the California state line, he was Mick.
And Sienna was still... Sienna.
Shaking his head, he did his best to push those memories aside.
Or... he tried.
For some reason, he found himself wondering what life would have been like if he had sent for her. She probably would have hated the lifestyle—it was extremely unglamorous in the beginning. He worked long hours and spent a lot of time in some unsavory clubs searching for talent. In time she would have come to resent him because kids certainly didn’t fit into the picture.
But... if he had stayed...
Yeah. There would have been kids.
And maybe he would have come to resent her because he’d given up his dream, so... really... it was all for the best.
“We would have had beautiful kids, though...”
Still... he did the right thing. He gave Sienna Ashley the chance to have everything she ever wanted.
Even if it wasn’t him.
****
All I want is to get out of here...
Yeah, that had been the constant thought in Sienna Ashley’s head for the last hour, but apparently, Professor Huntington figured no one in the room wanted to eat or drink ever again. Granted, he was a brilliant scientist and an excellent speaker, but he was also extremely long-winded.
It was the last day of the International Neuropsychology Association conference and his was the last presentation she needed to be at. Once he was done, Sienna was going to practically sprint from the room and go down to the hotel bar and get something to drink.
Something strong.
And maybe something to eat with it.
Sighing quietly, she did her best to pay attention, but her mind was seriously focused on whether she was going to go with a glass of wine or a shot of vodka.
Start with the wine and save the vodka for after you eat.
She hated being logical.
For once, she wished she could be reckless without her brain giving her grief about it. There were plenty of people who wouldn’t think twice about going down to the bar and slamming down a couple of shots of vodka on an empty stomach. Sadly, she wasn’t one of them. Instead of thinking about how it would be nice to relax after this exhausting conference, now all she could think of was how when you drink on an empty stomach, much of the alcohol you drink passes quickly from the stomach into the small intestine, where most of it is absorbed into the bloodstream. This intensifies all the side effects of drinking, such as your ability to think and coordinate your body movements.
Yeah. This was how her brain worked.
“I’d like to thank all of you for coming today,” Professor Huntington was saying. “Enjoy the rest of the conference.”
It would be wrong to yell, “Yippee!” and run away, so Sienna casually rose and made small talk with several of her colleagues before making her way out of the room. She’d been invited to join a few of them for dinner or to simply walk around Manhattan, but what she wanted most was a quiet table in the bar to just enjoy a drink—and food—before going up to her room and unwinding.
Tomorrow was the first day of her vacation. She had two glorious weeks to herself and still hadn’t decided what she was going to do. For some reason, she kept expecting inspiration to strike, but so far, it hadn’t.
Right now, she was planning on upgrading her hotel and staying in the city for a few days, playing tourist. There were so many museums and fascinating places to see, but the thought of doing it all alone seemed a little depressing. So, was this really the best use of her precious vacation time?
If she sat and thought on that for too long, she’d say no. Unfortunately, this was something Sienna felt like she had to do. It was time to break out of her usual patterns and mindset and try something different.
She just didn’t expect it to be quite so difficult.
When she had originally booked herself for the conference several months ago, the plan had been to come to New York, attend all the lectures, and return home. But a month ago, Professor Eleanor Stefani—a dear friend and brilliant mentor—had sat her down for a rather grim conversation.
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to skip the conference this year.”