He could sit here and make himself crazy, or he could pick up the phone and at least talk it through with someone.
His phone was instantly in his hands as he walked over and sat in his favorite chair. The weary sigh was out before he could stop it, and that’s when Riley answered the phone.
“Mick! Hey! What’s up?”
“Hey, Riley,” he said, and almost cringed at how tired he sounded.
“Uh, oh. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just got back to the city and I made the mistake of letting someone stay here.” He then explained all about Libby and how this one little favor was going to cost him a couple of thousand in cleaning bills.
Riley’s first response was to laugh. “Dude, you’re too trusting for your own good. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you to say no sometimes. I think you’re getting soft in your old age.”
“Need I remind you how I’m only three years older than you are?”
“It might as well be thirty. And the fact that you’ve embraced the whole going gray thing, you just look older. And I say that with love.”
“Some say it makes me look distinguished...”
But now that it was out there, maybe he was aging himself a little before his time.
“Maybe, but I swear, I think you were born old.”
It wasn’t the first time anyone had said that to him.
“So other than Libby trashing your city hideaway, what’s going on? You were just here last week and I know we’re not talking business until after the holidays, so...”
Ugh...am I really going to do this? He wondered. Was he the guy who called up a buddy to talk about his feelings?
“Mick?”
“Okay, so um...this isn’t about business, but...do you have a few minutes? I mean...are Savannah and the kids nearby and need you or something?”
“Savannah’s folks are in town, so they’re all out right now. You called at the perfect time, so...what’s going on? You sound like there’s definitely something on your mind.”
“There is, but...” Groaning, he raked a hand through his graying hair. “Shit. You know what? It’s nothing. Never mind. I’m just in a mood because of this shit with Libby. I’ll talk to you next week.”
“Mick, wait!” Riley quickly interjected. “Look, we’ve known each other for a long damn time and you’ve listened to me gripe about things going on in my life. If there’s something you need to talk about, it works both ways. I’m always here to listen.”
“I know, Ry. You’re a good friend.”
“And as a good friend, I’d like to help. Seriously, man, what’s on your mind?”
“I got back here today and was wading through all the debris and...I don’t know...it just hit me that...I’m alone. It’s not like that’s news, but for some reason today it just hit harder.”
“O-kay...”
Kicking his shoes off, he slouched down in the chair. “How did you know Savannah was the one?”
“Um...what?”
“Did you feel like it was time and you were looking to settle down, or was it something you thought about?”
“Wow, um...honestly, it wasn’t something I had ever thought about. I had no intention of settling down at that point, but as soon as I met Savannah, I just knew. It was a little unnerving, but from the moment she walked through the door of my house to interview me, it was like I knew she belonged there.” He paused. “Are you thinking of settling down? I didn’t know you were dating anyone.”
“I’m not,” he replied sadly. “Just...I don’t know. Maybe I should be. Maybe it’s time for me to stop being so hyper-focused on the music business and everyone else’s lives and do a little something for myself.”
“Mick, we’ve been telling you that for years. I realize Shaughnessy isn’t the only band on your client list, but almost everyone on it has been with you for a long time. You don’t have to hold everyone’s hands.”
“I know, but...”
“And,” Riley interrupted, “you’ve got an amazing staff who is more than capable of lightening your load. Hell, you really need to delegate more.”
“Yeah, I know, but...”
“When was the last time you even took a vacation? And not one to scout out places for tour stops, but an actual vacation?”
With a loud sigh, he said, “I don’t even remember.”
“I think that’s where you need to start. Some time away might help you put some things into perspective.”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” He paused for a moment. “I just don’t know how...how do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Balance it all? You’re just as driven as I am, Riley, and yet you’ve got a wife and kids and a big family and still go on tour and write music and seem stupidly happy. How does that even work?”
His friend laughed hard at that one. “For starters? Savannah is an excellent partner. It didn’t all just fall into place. If you remember correctly, when Aislynn was born, I was a nervous wreck! I didn’t want to leave to go to the studio, let alone go on tour. Savannah had to talk me into that one.”
Mick chuckled. “Yeah. I remember that.”
“It helps that she and the kids can travel with me often. Plus, now we can video chat so I can see the kids and they can see me and the band doesn’t stay on the road for as long anymore.”
“Okay, but...what about the day-to-day stuff? How do you make it work?”
“Like what? I have the studio here in the house that I can go to and write, Savannah has her office so she can work on her own writing, the kids are either at school or in daycare part of the time, and the rest is just regular, everyday life, Mick. Surely you remember your humble beginnings?” he teased. “You weren’t born a band manager. At some point you were just a kid—just a guy—living a life with his family.”
“That was a long time ago...”
“Maybe it’s time to start remembering that. And who knows? Maybe take this time off—go someplace where you can relax and have fun and not be a band manager—and figure out what the next stage of your life looks like. Who knows? Maybe that next stage involves a wife and kids.”
He laughed softly. “Thanks, Riley. I’ll think about it.”
“Hey, what are friends for?” After a moment, he asked, “Are you sure you’re okay? I’m not in a rush to get off the phone.”
Off in the distance, he heard the doorbell ring. “The cleaning crew is here and believe me, you’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“Remember...it’s not too late. There’s still time for you to have a personal life and someone to share it with.”
The doorbell rang again and he said a quick goodbye.
“I think that ship has sailed,” he whispered as he came to his feet, and was surprised at the ache in his chest.
For the next fifteen minutes, he walked the cleaning staff through his meticulous instructions on what to clean and how to clean it before returning to his bedroom and closing the door. Maybe it would have been easier to just go out, but he didn’t want to. This was his home and where he wanted to be, and if Libby hadn’t treated the place like a college frat party, he’d be relaxing over a glass of wine right now.