1
“Who here has seen Schitt’s Creek?” Sue Ann Perkins wearing her signature long floral skirt and cardigan asked from the podium on the stage of the community center.
Audrey Wells had never known her own grandparents, but she’d always thought of Sue Ann as the quintessential grandmother. She ran a café in Hope Falls, which Audrey, her mother, and sisters frequented when they had vacationed here every year from the time she was four until she was ten.
Six summers she’d spent in the quaint small town. The best six summers of her life. Which is why she’d moved here after graduating college and convinced her sister Vivien to relocate from Los Angeles and open up a coffee shop with her, which had been a dream of hers since she was a kid.
Growing up her favorite TV show was The Gilmore Girls. Her father left when she was two and her sisters were three, four, and five, leaving her mom to raise the girls as a single parent. Audrey liked the show because the main character was a single mom named Lorelai, who was cool and fun and beautiful, just like her own mom. The Wells sisters had been raised in Los Angeles, but Audrey used to dream of living in Stars Hollow, the fictional town the series was based in and owning her own business just like Lorelai.
Hope Falls was Audrey’s real-life Stars Hollow. A tight knit community filled with colorful, quirky characters. She even found her very own Luke who was Lorelai’s main love interest on the show. Unfortunately for Audrey, Josh was less of a love interest and more of a best friend. There were other minor differences as well. Instead of running a diner like Luke did on the show, Josh owned Pine Auto Shop. And unlike Lorelai who owned a B&B called the Dragonfly Inn, Audrey owned a coffee shop called Brewed Awakenings. But like the television characters, they did have good banter and there was a lot of sexual tension, well…on her side at least.
Every time Audrey saw Josh, her heart sped up, a tingly sensation would spread from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, and she had a difficult time breathing. She basically had an allergic reaction to his sexiness. And she wasn’t alone in her reaction to him. She’d seen plenty of women have the same physical response to being near him. Viv liked to say that he was the Tom Hardy of Hope Falls. Not just because he looked like the actor, although there were definitely similarities, but because he had an air of mystery about him that drew people to him. He had a quiet authority and commanding presence that was like catnip to the opposite sex. He was a motorcycle riding, tattooed, bad boy with a heart of gold, a smile that sizzled and spread through you like butter in a hot frying pan, and eyes so deep and so brown that Audrey found herself getting lost in them and never wanting to be found.
So yeah…on her part there was definitely sexual tension.
“Come on, show of hands.” Sue Ann lifted her arm in the air. “Schitt’s Creek. Who’s seen it?”
Audrey had thought Sue Ann’s question was posed more rhetorically and hadn’t realized that this was a participation exercise, but she quickly lifted her hand to indicate that yes, she had seen the show. As she looked around the room, she saw that about half of the crowd of a hundred people or so had their hands up.
It was a good turnout tonight for the Small Business Association’s monthly meetup. That was probably because it was the first meeting of the year. She’d noticed, in the eight years she’d lived in Hope Falls and been part of the SBA that as the year went on, the number of attendees for the monthly meetups dwindled significantly.
Audrey always attended. Every meeting. Her sister Viv, who she owned Brewed Awakenings with, never had. Which was why she’d been so surprised that she’d shown up tonight. Beside her, Viv’s arm was also held high. The sisters had binged watched the show several times together.
Another surprise guest this evening was Josh aka her Luke. He rarely came to these things but was in attendance tonight with his grandmother who everyone called Nonna. Nonna was a spitfire, to put it mildly, who had developed an unlikely friendship with Viv. Despite the sixty-year age gap, the two women got their nails done together, they regularly binge watched reality television shows together, and even frequented JT’s Roadhouse, the local bar together. They’d even gotten matching tattoos. Audrey wondered if Nonna was what Viv had always wanted in a grandmother, just like Sue Ann was to Audrey.
Behind her Audrey heard rumblings of someone asking what Sue Ann had said followed by a gasp and a stage-whispered, “Well, I never!”
She knew exactly who the gasper/stage whisperer was without even looking. Mrs. Winifred Minton owned a small antique shop on Main Street. She had a sign in her window that read: NO Smoking. NO Profanity. NO Children.
Although Audrey loved antiques, she’d never visited the shop because both the sign and the woman intimidated her.
Renata Blackstone, a community leader and elder in the Washoe tribe who co-chaired the SBA with Sue Ann stood from her chair and walked up to the mic. Renata was the opposite of Sue Ann in every way.
Sue Ann was soft, friendly and approachable. She stood at five-foot-two, on a good day, always wore a version of the same long floral skirt, matching shirt and cardigan combo, had reading glasses hanging from her neck, and wore her hair in the same short style. Her rounded cheeks were always rosy and she had a smile on deck for anyone who needed one. She spent her days at the café she owned where like the Olive Garden, when you were there, you were family.
Renata was tall and reed thin. Her waist length jet black hair had threads of gray running through it and she always wore it in the same braid that hung down her back. She was the definition of grace, and class, and held herself and those around her to a higher standard. She was a formal woman who commanded respect and was not given to emotional displays.
And like Winifred Minton, she intimidated Audrey.
“Relax, Winnie.” Renata addressed Mrs. Minton’s gasp as she stepped up to the mic. “Sue Ann didn’t curse. Schitt, S-C-H-I-T-T is the last name of the family that the show is about.”
Audrey didn’t dare look behind her to see what Mrs. Minton’s reaction to Renata singling her out in the meeting was. But, not surprisingly, her sister did. And whatever Viv saw caused her to her clasp her hand over her mouth as she stifled a laugh.
“Don’t,” Audrey admonished beneath her breath.
Viv turned to face forward again and whispered, “Her face looked like she was sucking on a thousand lemons. I’ve never seen anyone so puckered before.”
“Shh,” Audrey hushed her sister which caused Mr. Brooks who owned Two Scoops ice cream shop with his wife Marlene to turn around from the row in front of them, his expression was one of amusement at her sister’s remark, not irritation.
Audrey should have known that shushing someone would do the opposite of what her goal was and draw more attention to them. Viv had no problem with drawing attention to herself or being the center of attention. She thrived on it. Audrey did not. In contrast to Viv, Audrey actively worked to blend into the background and not stand out.
“Okay,” Sue Ann continued as Renata gracefully glided across the stage and returned to her seat. “For everyone who hasn’t seen the show, you’re missing out. But the reason I’m bringing it up is because on the show they had an episode that featured the town hosting a singles week to boost the town’s economy. As you all know, our tourist seasons are booming, but revenue drops off significantly in off-season months, one of which is February. So, this year Hope Falls is going to host its inaugural Valentine’s Week specifically targeted to singles. We already have couples that come and stay for romantic getaways, let’s give singles something to do as well.”