“So I’ll replace the false memories with… different false memories.”
“Ideally, you won’t remember them at all,” she said. “It’ll be like your experiences while asleep were a forgotten dream. Although, the potion will only erase your memories of the time when you were knocked out from the nightshade. If you want to erase your memory of your kiss with Ethan, I’d have to create a separate potion. Although I don’t see what good that would do, since Ethan would still remember it. But with your false memories erased, your emotions attached to the kiss should disappear, too.”
“Good,” I said, although the word felt empty. “That’s good.”
“I need a strand of your hair.”
I plucked one out and handed it to her.
“Perfect,” she said. “Now, you look like you could use some sleep.”
I yawned, not realizing how tired I was until she said it. And the thought of lying down in my own bed sounded really nice.
I’d missed being home.
“Go get some rest,” she said. “I’ll wake you once the potion’s ready.”
6
Gemma
I got back before sunset, so no one realized I’d left.
For the next two days, Ethan, Mira and I visited the Eternal Library to see if Hecate was there to answer our questions.
She wasn’t.
So we continued with our training. Raven didn’t give up on telling us about Avalon while we were practicing sword fighting with her. And while life on the island did sound wonderful, the thought of living there didn’t feel right to me. I couldn’t explain why, but it was like something was tugging me in a different direction. I didn’t know where that direction was, but I could pretty confidently say it wasn’t Avalon.
“He looks so hot when he fights with a sword,” Mira said, ogling Ethan as he sparred with Raven. “Doesn’t he?”
My heart slowed, and my blood froze.
Because it was the tone Mira used when she was egging someone on. But she wasn’t even looking at me. Her eyes were glued on Ethan.
Ethan—who did always look attractive when fighting with a sword. Especially when he was fighting to keep us safe.
But he hadn’t looked at me since we’d returned to the Haven. He’d look in my general direction, but he never met my eyes.
It was worse than when he’d acted like I was a stranger.
Because now I was a stranger whose existence he was purposefully ignoring.
Mira didn’t seem to require an answer to her question, which was good, because my throat was so constricted that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to speak.
Drink the potion. It’ll all be better once you do.
The indestructible vial of memory potion was hidden in my undergarments drawer in my room in the Haven. A cliché place to keep it, but it would be safe there. Especially because everyone in the Haven respected each other’s privacy.
Every morning and night, I’d taken it out and stared at it.
And every morning and night, I’d placed it back in the drawer.
I’d gone to all that trouble to get the potion. So why couldn’t I do something as simple as drinking it?
“Nice job,” Raven said, pulling me out of my thoughts. The tip of her sword was pressed against Ethan’s chest. “If you’d been fighting anyone else, I bet you would have won.”
She lowered her sword, and Ethan held out his hand, shaking hers.
“Good match,” he said, and she smirked as she dropped her arm back to her side.
No one could beat the Queen of Swords when it came to fighting with blades. Especially when she was using the Holy Sword, Excalibur—the one she was holding now.
She never parted with it. I’d bet she even slept with it.
“Time to break for the day,” Raven said. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving.”
“Me, too,” I said, and I turned to walk in the direction of the hotel. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” I tried to sound as chipper as I could.
“You’re having dinner in your room again?” she asked.
Mira waited for my answer, too.
Ethan, of course, wouldn’t look at me.
“I’m tired,” I said what I’d been saying every night. Training was exhausting, and fighting my feelings for Ethan was even more so. “And I want to do some reading before bed.”
I also had zero desire to have dinner with Ethan and Mira. Lunch every day had been tough enough, but at least lunch was quick. In the Haven, they lingered and socialized in the dining hall long after finishing dinner.
Having dinner sent to my room so I could stare at the walls and brood over my feelings for Ethan and whether or not to take the memory potion was clearly a much better use of my time. Especially because if I’d just drink it, then I’d stop being so miserable. Maybe I’d even be able to relax and make some friends in the Haven, like Mira had been doing.
“You sure about that?” Raven’s eyebrows knitted in concern. And while her reflexes were quick, I could have sworn she’d glanced at Ethan.
Does she know?
There was no way she could know. Except… Raven was observant. She had to be, to anticipate her opponent’s every move.
And the sooner I drank that potion, the less there’d be for her to observe.
“I’m sure,” I said, and then, like every night since getting back to the Haven, I hurried back to my room.
Except tonight, I intended to finally be able to sleep without tossing and turning over my unrequited love for Ethan.
Because with my memories gone, my heart could finally rest, and I could be at peace.
7
Gemma
The next morning, it finally happened.
I stepped into the ivory hall of the Eternal Library, and Hecate was there.
She wore a sparkling purple gown, and her raven-colored hair flowed freely down her back. She was so ethereal that she took my breath away.
“You’re here,” I said, shocked.
“Yes.” She gave me a close-lipped, knowing smile. “I’m here.”
Mira stepped through the door next, followed by Ethan.
My twin stepped back the moment she saw Hecate, as if intimidated by the goddess’s presence.
Ethan reached for her waist and steadied her.
I looked away, since for reasons I didn’t understand, my chest always tightened at the sight of the two of them together.
Probably because of that kiss…
But that hadn’t meant anything. At least, not to him. I’d just needed to snap him out of it, and he’d kissed me back because for a moment, he’d thought I was Mira.
It was an accident. I needed to forget about it.
He already had.
So I pushed the thought away and refocused on Hecate.
The goddess was as calm as ever. “I believe you have questions for me?” she asked.
“So many questions,” I said quickly.
“Then I hope you’ve prepared your best ones.”
I swallowed, then nodded. Because Ethan had his best question ready. From there, my best question depended on Hecate’s answer to his question, and then Mira’s on her answer to mine.