It is not good. She says that because I did hurt her. My shame grows. I help her back to her feet and try to piece her leggings back together, but I have torn them asunder. Mine are completely useless, too. My face feels hot as I pick up the scraps. "I have ruined your clothes."
"Well, they weren't really mine to begin with," Nora says, her tone pleasant. She reaches for my braid, playing with it. "It's all right. I didn't mind."
I am silent.
I mind.
A mate is to be treasured. A mate is to be cherished. A hunter with a mate is luckier than all others because his khui has selected the best of females for him, and they will make kits together. And me? Within moments of receiving the greatest gift…I have used her. Twice.
Vektal would banish me if he knew the truth.
No-rah gives a little wiggle, adjusting on her feet. She moves as if she is in pain, and ice-cold fear slithers down my spine. "What is wrong?"
She bends over toward me, her teats pressing against the front of the borrowed tunic, and my cock surges again at the sight. Her gaze is not on me, though. Her expression is thoughtful. "I think I pulled a muscle in all that. I guess I must have slept weird when I was in those pod things." She straightens and smiles at me, her expression achingly sweet. "It's nothing. Don't worry, I promise. I'm perfectly fine. Can we go inside?"
I nod.
My mate turns to enter, and I see her tunic is shredded. The soft leather has been torn apart by the rocks she rested against, and her back is scratched and covered in welts. I suck in a breath and grab her, pausing. "I did this to you?"
As if it is nothing, No-rah just laughs. "The rocks did it to me, if you want to get technical."
She makes more excuses for me. I am not worthy of such a good mate. I should turn around and march her back to the others. I should confess to my chief that I have hurt my mate, that I am not fit to be with beautiful, soft No-rah. That I cannot control myself around her.
But if I do…what if they give her to another male? What if they let Vaza welcome her to his hearth? He has made it clear to Vektal that if the human females are interested, he would take a pleasure-mate to his furs. Vaza is a widower and cannot resonate to another, but that will not stop him from trying to entice a female to his arms.
I just spilled my seed into No-rah as well. Twice now. What if she carries my kit?
I cannot tell the others that I hurt her, because they will take her from me. I must bear this shame alone. I press my hands to my plated brow, wondering how my life can be so amazing in one moment and then so wrong in the next.
"Are…are you all right?" No-rah watches me with a puzzled expression. "Can we go inside? Or is there some sort of mating ritual we're supposed to do now? I'm not familiar with your customs."
I am selfish, because I cannot let her go. Even now, I want to drag her back down into the snow and plunge into her again. "No customs," I say thickly. I cannot resist touching her, and I take her hand in mine. Her smile grows wider, and she squeezes my fingers. "No-rah…we must never speak of what happened here."
She hesitates, a look of uncertainty on her face. "Were we not supposed to have sex again?"
"Not like that."
"Oh…is that against the rules?” She looks confused. "I didn't even bother to ask. I just assumed…"
I realize to my horror that she has never mated before either. I took her so roughly and her first time was by the fire just recently. She will still be sore. More shame piles upon me, and I cup my mate's face in my hands. "Next time," I vow. "Next time I will do it right."
The third time will be the best time.
Her brows furrow but she gives me a bright smile. "Okay?"
7
NORA
I'm getting whiplash from Dagesh's emotions. I watch as he storms into the cave, his tail swishing back and forth. It's clear he's agitated about something, but what? He said we had sex wrong but…I've never come so hard in my life. There was absolutely nothing wrong in that for me. Maybe it was the position? He didn't like holding me up? Doing it outdoors? Was there some custom we skipped over?
And how soon can we do that again?
I watch him make fire in the small pit in the center of the cave. It's mostly dark inside, with a bit of light spilling in from the entrance behind us and a bit more provided by our glowing blue eyes. I can see just enough that this cave is rather rough-hewn, with a few stalactites dripping down from the ceiling in the back. It looks like someone else's stuff is already here, which is odd to me, but then again, what about this entire situation isn't odd?
"So, Dagesh," I say brightly when I can't stand the silence any longer. "What's the rest of your name? Or is it just Dagesh?" I try to say it like he did, but I'm pretty sure I fumble it spectacularly. "Dageesh? Dayuush? Oy vey. You're a bit of a tongue twister."
He glances up at me, so handsome, and his expression is baffled. "Dagesh is all of my name. You have more of a name?"
"Well, yeah. On my birth certificate I'm officially Nora Esther Leah Broder, after both the grandmothers, but I just go by Nora." I smile at him and sit down near the fire, because it feels strange to keep standing near the cave entrance with my ass to the breeze. I tuck the tunic down over my lap, hiding my pussy in an attempt to be modest just in case he doesn't like boldness in a girl. "You?"
"I am just Dagesh."
I practice saying it again, trying to swallow the “G” sound like he does, and I know I mangle it badly when a hint of a smile touches his mouth. "I'll get it right eventually, Dagesh."
"However you say it, it is beautiful," he promises me. "Human tongues are perhaps a little different."
"I can show you my tongue later, if you like," I say, giving him an encouraging smile. "I think you'll like it even if it's different."
He places something round on the fire, washes his hands with a bit of water from his water skin that he keeps at his belt, and then gives me a woebegone look. "We should talk, my No-rah."
Oh no. Is this the breakup conversation already? I've known him for like, half a damn hour. "Let me guess…you don't think it'll work out between us?" I keep my voice light, trying to hide the hurt that's brimming through me. How is it that I land on an ice planet and get a fated mate and get dumped? That has to be a record.
Dagesh runs a hand over his mouth, looking sad. "I am a bad mate for you."
"So you're getting rid of me?"
He pauses. "What?"
"What?" I echo.
"I do not follow."
"That makes two of us!" I cross my arms over my chest, trying not to cry. "You're dumping me?"
"Dumping you? But you are already on the ground." He tilts his head, as if regarding my feet.
"You're breaking up with me?" Then I realize that can be misinterpreted too, if you're not familiar with English. My breath hitches. "You're ending things between us? You don't want to be my mate?"
"What? No, that is not it at all." Dagesh moves forward, scooting to my side. He reaches out and brushes his knuckles gently against the side of my face. "From the moment you opened your eyes, I could look at no one but you, No-rah. You are everything I have dreamed of as a mate. There is no other female that I want."