I glance over at the females even as we harass the sa-kohtsk with our spears. I look for my mate's soft brown mane—No-rah the others called her. No-rah. No-rah. I catch a glimpse of her, that stubborn, unafraid look on her face even as she braces herself against one of the useless, bendy sashrem trees. A female clings to her for support, and—
The sa-kohtsk pauses in its slow gallop, and Zolaya gives me a push, shoving me out of the way moments before the creature can flatten me with his foot. I roll in the snow, righting myself, and my face stings with embarrassment. A kit is hunting better than I am this day. I cannot concentrate, and I do not miss the irked look that Vektal sends in my direction. I am normally the reliable one, the sturdy, capable one that he can count on to do the job without fuss. He will suspect me now, but it does not matter.
The moment my female has her khui, she is mine to claim.
I fall back, letting the others rush the creature, and pretend to circle wide. In truth, I just want to be nearer to No-rah. I am grateful when Vektal flips atop the sa-kohtsk and dispatches it with a well-timed stab to the eye, slicing into the brain. The thing crumples and one of the hunters lets up a cheer.
I rub my chest as Zolaya comes over to me, frowning. "Are you well, brother?"
"I have never been better," I admit. The females are moving, and I want to watch them as they approach the sa-kohtsk. Even now, the others are gathering around it to crack open the ribs and give the females the gift of life. They must hurry, because the khuis will fade and die if we take too long, but the females are in sorry shape. Some of them can barely move, and I jog over to help, only to have Aehako stop me with a shake of his head.
"Give them a moment to breathe, my friend," he says in a low voice. "Your khui will wait a bit longer."
So he knows I have resonated, then. Or he's guessed.
I clench my jaw and glance over at the females. "I did not know it would feel like this," I admit to him, pacing. "I am going mad with it."
"How does it feel?" he asks. There is such curiosity in him. He studies me with fascination, leaning over to examine me as if he is looking for changes. "Like you drank too much sah-sah? Is your cock hard all the time?"
I shove his shoulder when he leans in close, as if he is trying to listen to my chest. "Do not ask me about my cock and then try to press against me, idiot."
Aehako just laughs, delighted at my response. "I merely wish to know how it feels. Mine is silent." He taps his chest. "Come and listen. My chest is as empty as Cashol's head."
I tug the additional layers of furs off and toss them to the snowy ground. It is far too warm to wander about covered up like a metlak, and it does no good anyhow. If Aehako has discovered my secret, he will have told half the hunting party at this point. There are very few secrets amongst our people. "I know what a silent khui is like. Mine has been just as silent as yours through all these many seasons." I rub my chest, because my khui still sings wildly, reminding me that my mate is near. "It is very…distracting, though."
"Which is why you almost let a sa-kohtsk step on you," Aehako agrees. "Your mind is not in your head at the moment. It is in your loincloth."
He is not wrong. I resist the urge to rub my cock—not because I cannot control myself but because I am very…aware of it right now. I am very aware of the blood pumping through my veins, of the breeze that makes my loincloth flutter over my groin. I am very aware of how the thrumming song of my khui shivers all the way through my body, especially between my thighs. "I just…I want to touch her. I want to know my mate. I want to hear her speak."
Aehako gives me a pitying look. "Did you not talk to her earlier? She was the one you were gaping at, yes?"
I sigh, thinking of No-rah with her abundant teats and her soft-looking mane. "She was beautiful, was she not?"
"Eh," Aehako says.
Angry, I give him a hard shove.
He tumbles back to the ground and laughs, clutching his sides. "That got you! She must be your mate indeed." He chuckles, utterly amused. "It is not like you to be so sensitive, Dagesh! What has happened to the steady and true hunter?"
I scowl. It is as he said—my mind is in my loincloth. "Why are you being so annoying?"
Aehako sits up and rubs a hand over his shorn scalp. He is the only one of us that cuts his mane down to the scalp, preferring not to wear one at all. "Partly because I am curious…and partly because I wished to distract you while your mate received her khui so you did not panic."
She what?
I whip around so fast that my braid smacks my chest. Sure enough, the females are laid out in the snow, Vektal and Zolaya moving over them. They look like they are sleeping, lined up in rows and not moving at all. Vektal steps away from the bloody chest cavity of the sa-kohtsk and Pashov squats near one of the females. I want to snarl at all of them for standing over my No-rah, for giving her a khui without telling me. I should have been there. I should have—
Aehako is suddenly at my side again. He puts a hand on my shoulder, stopping me. "Save your rage, brother," he says in a soft voice. "No one is hurting her. Our chief will take good care with all the females, because his is included."
"But No-rah—"
"Does not know she has resonated," Aehako says in that reasonable voice. "Give her time to wake up. Let her come to you. Otherwise you will scare her."
I groan, running a hand down my face in frustration. He is right. His words are sensible, but…they are not what I want. I want to cradle her in my arms. I want to be the first thing she sees when she awakens. I want my mate. After so many turns of the seasons alone, with no one to return home to, I want my family.
I do not want to lurk in the shadows, waiting for her to notice me. I want to stand tall and proud next to her. I want to see her smile when she hears her khui's song. Aehako gives my shoulder another friendly pat, but I push him away. I move over to Vektal, where he sits in the bloodied snow, his hands on his knees. At his side is his mate, Shorshie, her eyes closed and her face pale.
I sit next to him, leaning back on my haunches.
"Was it you?" he asks, not looking up from his mate's still form.
I know what he asks. Was it me that resonated and did not speak up? "Yes," I say. "No-rah is mine."
"Let her approach you first," he says. "The females are skittish. My Georgie is very protective of them. I will not have her upset."
I clench my jaw, but nod. I will sit here and wait. And hopefully when No-rah opens her eyes, she will see me…and she will smile. I have been patient for this many turns of the season. Surely I can be patient a little longer. My hands form anxious fists and I stare at the sleeping females. Worry pounds in my chest. What if they do not awaken? What if they are too old to take a khui? Too sick? What if…I bite back the worried questions that rise to my tongue. Vektal does not have the answers, either. I feel I must say something, though. "I am…overwhelmed," I admit. "I did not expect resonance to feel like this."
He grunts.
"Have you been walking around like this for days now?" I ask, in awe. I cannot imagine. My head feels like a bigger mess than one of Hemalo's tanning pits. My body aches for my mate. My cock…well, I will not think about my cock, other than that it aches, too.