I cut him off. “But why me? Why did he choose me at all?”
“While everyday fae aren’t familiar with the feathered fae, the royalty always has been. We all have a special trait that makes us sought after. Hence, why you don’t normally find them in the fae realm. There are too many selfish people in this world for our kind to assimilate themselves normally.
“Now, this part I can only assume, but it’s likely Zephyr wanted to groom you into his weapon in hopes your special ability would be worth the trouble of raising you as his own. After a while, you showed no extraordinary talents and were growing a conscience. He used that shifter as a way to get rid of you without looking like the bad guy.”
Just when my fury was beginning to settle, it was once again on the rise. “You’re telling me that Zephyr set me up to murder an innocent shifter that he’d already tortured for much too long?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“Why? None of this makes sense,” I seethed.
“Lucinda, you won’t ever understand why, because you are not him. You are not consumed with the longing for more power. While some of the fae are aware he’s vile, most are not. Zephyr couldn’t have thrown a young fae out of the castle without just cause. You killing the shifter that people thought he took care of was reason enough. With one strike, two problems were taken care of for him.”
Regret for not stepping up earlier plowed into me. How could I have been so stupid for so long? I should have killed King Zephyr the moment he began forcing me to hurt innocent people. I had known better, and yet, I’d done nothing but follow his blind orders. When I really thought about it, I was just as bad as the king.
Mosi leaned forward and took my hand. “You had no choice. The things you did kept you alive. None of this is your fault. Zephyr is the only one to blame here, and you will make him pay.”
“It would have been better if he’d just killed me,” I spat.
I wasn’t sure if it was the bond or something else, but I was tired. Tired of all the lies and tricks and whatever else. I had always been proud of my strength, always loved who I was, but this was a lot, even for someone like me who fought so hard not to give a shit about anything.
Finn jerked me from Mosi’s grasp, his hands cupping my cheeks. “Don’t you ever say that again.”
Wherever our skin touched, I could sense the magic of the bond flaring to life. Finn’s silver eyes bore into me while emotions I could identify but didn’t understand filtered from him to me.
“This world is not better with you dead. Don’t let Zephyr win,” Finn added before releasing my face and moving closer until our shoulders and sides were touching. “Please continue, Mosi.”
“Once you were gone, Lucinda, the king was desperate for more power. He had spent the last five years believing you would be the key to his success, yet he had nothing to show for it. Coincidentally, the Renegades had a trap set for him that aligned perfectly with the situation. They’d lured Zephyr with a powerful spell, and it would have killed him if not for Ivy.”
Finn tensed beside me, and it was my turn to offer him comfort—something I couldn’t recall ever doing for anyone before, but somehow felt natural with Finn as my fingers intertwined with his. The bond was stronger than I expected it to be and continued to frighten the hell out of me.
Doing things like this was not me, but I couldn’t seem to stop the actions.
“Is Ivy going to die?” Finn asked.
Mosi frowned. “I cannot answer that question. Not because I won’t, but because there are many possible futures. We each have choices to make, and every one can result in a different outcome for us all, but I will do my best to help you get her back if that remains my path.”
Finn grimaced, clearly not happy with that answer, but gestured for Mosi to continue anyway.
“Ivy taking on the darkness was a key role in what is happening now. I know watching her suffer is hard. I wish it didn’t need to be the way it is, but everything is happening for a reason. Finn, if you hadn’t taken on the dark magic within Ivy, you never would have been able to bond with Lucinda.”
“What do you mean?” I asked before he could.
I knew very little about bonded mates. Really just two things. That it only happened if you had sex and that it could be broken with powerful—and more importantly, painful—magic. Considering it had never been a path I saw for me, I’d never concerned myself with learning more.
“Light fae cannot bond to dark fae, and vice versa. Even though you were neither light nor dark, Lucinda, you’d been doused in enough darkness that you became a dark fae. Your very essence recognizes that, but you can also change it. You could be light fae if you wanted, or you could be neither.”
I stared blankly at him. I didn’t really know how to respond to that statement. After everything he’d already said and allowing the bonding to happen, I felt like I’d been kicked from the finish line all the way back to the beginning. I was going to have to figure out what I wanted all over again and I wasn’t happy about that, but I couldn’t deny that I was also intrigued about some of it.
“Are you saying I could no longer be fae?” I asked.
“No, that’s not exactly right, but if what I know is correct, you could cease to use your magic and eventually you would age faster. Your life would be much shorter than that of a typical fae, but still longer than a human’s.”
I stared blankly at him, having not expected that kind of answer. Giving up magic wasn’t natural. It shouldn’t be possible. Even if the scenario was plausible, I didn’t think it was something I was capable of.
Mosi continued when I didn’t reply, “Like I was saying before, though. In order to bond together, Finn had to have the same essence within him. Given that the darkness he took from Ivy came from Zephyr, it worked out just the way I had hoped. That was when I was able to step in and offer Finn my guidance.”
“You knew Ivy was going to be poisoned and you did nothing to stop it?” Finn snarled from beside me.
“Calm, young Finn. Everyone has their path, and this was Ivy’s. She could have denied Zephyr, and we’d be having a very different conversation right now. I didn’t know for sure what would happen, but even if I did, I won’t ever interfere with destiny. Even when I don’t agree with it,” Mosi said with complete confidence.
Just as Finn began to disagree, Olida returned. She held a basket in one hand and used the other to cover her chest. “Mosi, what have you done to these children? You’re not making them feel any better. This room is filled with darkness and hostility.”
She put the basket down and went around the room lighting bundles of herbs I wasn’t familiar with. The scent was heady yet calming in a way I wouldn’t have expected. I took several more deep breaths before she handed me and Finn each a cup of something warm.
“What is this?” Finn asked.
Olida grinned as she sat down. “A hot toddy. Made from the finest whiskey those humans on Earth are capable of producing. I make Mosi bring me as many barrels as he can every time he visits.”
The first taste exploded on my tongue as I tried to capture all of the flavors: whiskey, honey, a little bit of lemon, and a heavy dose of spice.