Har-loh must stay safe in the cave, with the fire. I will hunt.
4
HARLOW
When I wake up in the morning, Rukh is gone.
Huh.
Normally we wake up tangled together in the furs for some pre-dawn snuggling and a before-breakfast quickie, but this morning, he's nowhere to be seen. I rub my eyes and peer out of the cave, but no Rukh. Probably fishing, then. Maybe he woke up with a burning need to get some fish in or something. We're still not great at communicating yet, and a lot of what goes between us is guesswork. With a yawn, I wrap the few furs we have tightly around my body and stoke the fire. The coals have gone down while I slept, and I poke them until they get hot once more, then work on setting up the makeshift tripod we have for heating water.
I wish we had more things. I've taken for granted just how many supplies there are back at the main cave, and how hard everyone has worked to make those supplies. When I think of how much time I have to put in just to make a cooking pouch, I have a whole new appreciation for those giving, thoughtful sa-khui people who took a bunch of humans into their homes, no questions asked, and fed and clothed us.
Rukh thinks of them as the enemy, but they were always kind to me. I've made my choices, though. I'm with Rukh now, and that means starting over in all ways.
I pad to the entrance of the cave, my toes curling on the icy rocks, and peer out, looking for my mate's broad shoulders and long, wild hair. I don't see him on the beach, either, but it doesn't mean that he's not around. He's probably gathering food. I wet a soft scrap of leather, take a quickie bath with the melted water, and then add a bit more from the trickle in the cave. Once my pouch is full, I add the last few leaves for hot tea and get dressed. Maybe while Rukh is fishing, I can find some of the plants that the sa-khui always used for tea. I can start our supplies there, I decide. Leaves are easy. It's everything else that's daunting.
One thing at a time, Harlow, I remind myself.
I head out to the cliffs, noticing that Rukh's spear is gone from inside the cave. Definitely hunting. The sight of it missing actually makes me feel a little better, and I concentrate on picking leaves for tea. I'm proud of myself for actually recognizing several of the plants that cling to the cliffs here. It's weird, because for an ice-covered planet, there's a surprising amount of greenery to be found if you know where to look. There's the not-potato trees that grow incredibly tall stalks, but there aren't any near the beach that I can see. There are all kinds of vines crisscrossing the rocks and growing into the crevices. And I know that if I go up into the mountains, I can dig under the snow and find all kinds of strange, wiry plants that somehow grow despite the cold and the gray, weak sunshine.
I gather leaves until my little pouch won't hold any more and my hands are full. I look around for Rukh again, but there's still no sign of him. I can't let that worry me. He knows what he's doing. Next time, I'll tell him that if he heads out he needs to take me with him. I need to get better at hunting, too.
No sense in being angry about it, though. And I'm not, really. I'm just frustrated that our communication is falling down again. It's one thing I wish we were both quicker at. There's so many things I want to say to him, and I can tell he wishes he could talk to me more. We're getting there, but we're both impatient for more. Thinking about Rukh and words I can teach him distracts me, and I'm back at the cave and spreading out leaves to dry before I know it. Near the entrance of the cave, I see the piles of seaweed I scavenged from the beach, and I lay them out to dry, as well. When they dry up, they harden into thick reeds that can be braided and woven into baskets, and the thought of making my own is exciting.
Storage. Who'd have thought I'd be so damn thrilled for storage? Blows my mind.
There's a lot to get done, though, and I can't sit around. With that thought in mind, I get to work.
By the time I gather my last handfuls of leaves and have them spread out on a fur near my tiny fire, I realize it's almost dark.
No, scratch that, it IS dark. The skies are just bright because the stars are shining overhead. It's completely dark out and the moons are up. And there's still no sign of my mate. I kept busy all day, because sitting by the fire and worrying doesn't do me any good, but he's never been gone for so long. I can't help but panic a little.
Okay, a lot.
I go to the entrance of the cave, hugging my fur wraps to my body, and scan the dark beach. No Rukh. What do I do? Should I grab my makeshift spear and head into the hills after him? It's dark, and all kinds of weird creatures come out at night, so I don't know if that's such a smart idea. But if he's out there, hurt, I can't just leave him and keep my happy ass warm by the fire.
I don't know what to do. Sit and wait? Go after him?
I consider my options for a few moments and then bank the fire. I wrap up in furs, grab my spear, and head out after him. I make my way to the cliffs, stumbling over icy rocks in the darkness. There's a small natural path that leads up through the cliffs to the rolling, wintry hills above that become mountains. I go up a few steps and then pause, listening. There's a noise of something walking on the sands, the crunch of footsteps.
Rukh?
I head back down the path toward it. "Is that you, Rukh?"
The sound gets louder, and then I pause. There's a dark shape on the sand that is not Rukh. Not in the slightest. In fact, it looks like a crustacean of some kind, but it's the size of an Earth crocodile…or bigger. It's got two tentacles with eyes on the end, and they swivel toward me.
I let out a horrified squeal and stumble backward, clutching my spear. The thing scuttles away, as if it's just as scared of me as I am of it.
I stare after the creature, heart pounding. My hands are slippery on my spear, and the wind picks up, blowing my hair in my face. A helpless feeling overtakes me. I don't know enough about this world to handle my shit alone at night. What if that crab wasn't the biggest thing on this beach at night? What if the next one doesn't run?
And I don't know where Rukh is. What if I head into the mountains and I never find him?
Beyond frustrated, I retreat back to the safety of my cave and build up the fire. Our supplies of the dung chips are going to disappear quickly, too. That's another thing we need to hunt.
None of that matters if Rukh doesn't come back, though. I can't do this on my own. I can't live on this beach alone. I need my mate. Hot tears leak from my eyes as I lie next to the fire and wait for my mate to return.
When I wake up again, it's morning.
No Rukh.
The fire's completely out, and no amount of poking the coals makes it revive, which is just frustrating. It means I have to build one from scratch, and part of me wonders why I even bother. Rukh hasn't returned. He's left me. I'm sure it's not on purpose—he wouldn't do that—which means only one thing. Something bad has happened to him and he can't return on his own.
I have to go find him, then.
I braid my hair and put on my leathers. I wrap extra leather around my boots, reinforcing them, since the mountains are colder and rocky, and the snow can hide all kinds of dangers. I double-check the point of my spear to make sure it's sharp and grab my waterskin and the last of our dried rations. I'm not coming back until I find Rukh. "I'm coming, baby."