Beth laughs, the sound is like bells clinking together it’s so musical. I find myself smiling at her, despite feeling awkward.
“If it helps his image, he likes it strong enough that a fork can stand up in it.”
“That sounds about right,” I laugh. “That’s how Michael likes his.”
“Hunter, too,” Katie grins.
“Ugh, men,” Beth sighs out and then giggles.
We all join in…. except for Annie. She’s staring off into space. She hasn’t really joined the conversation at all.
“You okay, Annie?” Beth asks, having noticed the same thing I have.
“What? Oh yeah, sorry. I’m having trouble focusing today. It’s a product of pregnancy brain,” she says, giving us a small smile.
“I know that one for sure,” I tell her, my hand on my stomach, which is slightly bigger than Annie’s baby bump—but not by much.
“Sabre says you’re having another boy,” she says.
“Yeah. Michael has already insisted we name him Axel. He says I got to name Connor and my friends D.D. and Jenn picked out Ryker, so…” I shrug, not really complaining since I love the name Axel. “What are you having?” I ask Annie.
She looks up at me slightly startled. She rubs her stomach, staring down at it, while she’s answering.
“A baby girl. We’re going to name her Daphne.”
“That’s a pretty name. You don’t hear it often,” I tell her gently. Annie seems to need gentle. I don’t know her that well, but there’s a frailness about her right now that I can understand. I felt it before Michael came into my life.
“Thanks,” she whispers.
“Hayden, are you up to helping us put up the tree? Skull didn’t want to have one up until you and Beast were here with the boys. We had Christmas at our house for the club. Secretly, I think that’s because he hates putting a tree up here. He always bitches about it, but I think a tree here will just make the kids happy, plus it will irritate Skull, which is a bonus,” Beth questions.
“I’d love too,” I laugh as we all get up.
“Good, between the four of us, it should go fast. We’ll let the kids help too,” she adds.
“Oh Lord, I’m going to need a drink when we’re done. You’re inviting chaos,” Katie mutters.
“That’s because last year Bart volunteered to water the Christmas tree. Which, come to think of it, might be another reason Skull doesn’t like trees at the clubhouse.”
“What’s so bad about Bart watering the tree ?” I ask, not having been here.
“He was going through that phase where little boys have just discovered their wiener and like to see just how far they can pee—of course that could just be my kids, because Hunter is a bastard and teaches them that,” Katie growls. “Then he brags because he can pee farther than them—like that’s some huge feat. I’m married to a moron,” she complains.
“A hot looking moron,” Beth reminds her of something that is completely true.
“That does help,” Katie grumbles. “Anyway, long story short, the club has all new decorations this year because the smell of urine definitely lingers and some things you just can’t clean.”
“Oh my,” I laugh, praying Connor and Ryker don’t discover this type of “fun”.
“You should probably worry,” she says.
“Why’s that?” I ask.
“Because B.B. is over there talking to Connor and they’re looking sneaky. That’s never a good thing,” she warns and I laugh, figuring it’s not, but Connor looks really happy and I can hear my man laughing, so I don’t really stress about it. If my boy pisses on the tree… Michael can be the one to go buy new decorations.
Beast
“Get over here woman,” I growl as I slide into bed. I hook an arm around Hayden and pull her back against me. Immediately she wiggles that sexy ass of hers against my dick and curls into me.
“Missed you,” she mutters sleepily.
“Sorry, Beauty. Boys and I got carried away shooting the shit.”
“It’s good, Sweetheart. I’m glad you’re having a good time. And we have the cookout tomorrow—although that’s going to be kind of cold…”
“Boys got some outdoor heaters and they fixed it so they’re safe around the kids. It will be fine. Leave it to me to have a birthday on Christmas—although it was warm on Christmas. Maybe the boys shouldn’t have tried a cookout after New Year’s.”
“I like that your birthday falls on Christmas,” I tell him.
“What do you mean?” I ask her, kissing the top of her head and closing my eyes.
“You’re my greatest gift, so…”
My hands tighten around her—although carefully, mindful of our child she’s carrying. I squeeze gently and my eyes close.
“Fuck, Beauty,” I growl, unable to keep the emotion down. “You leave me speechless.”
“I love you, Michael,” she whispers, sleep beginning to infiltrate because her voice is muffled, softer, and thicker.
“I love you, Hayden. Get some rest, baby. We have a full day tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she says.
We lay in the darkness like that. I hear her breathing even out and deepen. Only then do I close my eyes, think over the day I’ve had, and how great it was to have my brothers around me again. I’ve missed them—truly missed them. I didn’t tell Hayden, but I was nervous about being back at the clubhouse, too. We’ve visited, but we’ve never stayed here. I dreaded it. I was afraid memories would suffocate me, that the pain would resurface if I was here too long. That hasn’t happened.
I still have moments where I feel Annabelle here, a memory of the two of us, of her laughter… it’s all here. But, it’s no different here than when I’m back home with Hayden and my boys. I have those same memories at home, despite Annabelle never living there with us. It’s taken me a while, but I realize finally that memories of Annabelle are everywhere, because she’s inside of me. She’s part of me. It doesn’t matter where I am, they are there too… she is there. That’s okay. That’s more than okay. It’s perfect. I always want my Annabelle with me.
Tonight was good. I loved every moment of it. The best part was watching Connor and Ryker play with the other kids. Not to mention the fact I enjoyed being close with my brothers again. This time, without the anger I harbored for so long getting between us. And then there was…Hayden. I’d look across the room and see her laughing, or catch her looking at me. She’d give me her smile… Me. She’s a miracle worker and I don’t know how she’s done it, but when she smiles at me, I feel like the luckiest S.O.B. on the face of the fucking planet. She loves me. She’s not ashamed of it; She lets everyone know it—not even trying to hide it.
Never.
I never thought I was the type of man that a woman would be proud to have tied to her—not with the scars I carry—both inside and out. But Hayden is proud. She doesn’t conceal that pride. Instead, she gives it as freely as her love. Just thinking about that makes me squeeze her close, while breathing her scent in deep.