Stewards were at dawn training, and this was officially the first chance I’d had to get out of the manor. People were always around, asking questions, clamouring for my thoughts, wanting something.
I just needed one hour of alone time. Especially with the Tuesday night gathering tonight. If I didn’t decompress somehow, I’d end up shaving my head or something.
I walked up the stairs and down the hall, then stood in the doorway, studying the small, open-plan space.
Yep. Really fucking bittersweet.
And I just needed to get over it.
First step, moving out.
Wade and Cameron transferred my clothes to the manor after Herc’s death, but everything else was here. Setting the flattened boxes on the table, I set to work.
Stripping the bed, I shoved the load in the washing machine and made up the boxes. Everything would fit in Ella F—the only new additions were the cleaning and cooking supplies. I couldn’t quite bear to leave them behind after having forked out the money for them.
Habit was still a big bitchhole.
Packing felt the same as emptying the house after Mum’s death.
Like I was touching someone else’s stuff.
This Andie played saxophone at a bar and had normal problems—well, mostly normal. I glanced at the saxophone case on the two-seater couch. After the will reading, I gave it to Wade to ditch here.
That was part of old Andie’s life too. She’d played it for her mother.
Tearing my gaze from the instrument, I boxed my few books and threadbare towels.
The floor creaked.
Heart leaping into my throat, I whirled to find a man in the doorway. Him. How the fuck did he have the audacity to show his face here?
Sascha Greyson, dressed in jeans and a forest-green flannel shirt, looked at me from across the room.
“You aren’t this stupid,” I told him.
He took a breath.
Oh? He was.
“Get out. This is an unsanctioned meeting.”
The Luther stepped into the room instead. “And when the marshals ask why I came to your apartment, will you tell them what nearly happened on that bed two weeks ago?”
His face between my legs.
Not that anything did happen, but what went down was without doubt the most erotic experience of my life. Every time I relived it, I felt like a disgusting piece of shit.
I set the full box on the dusty kitchen table. “That’s a mighty bluff. The truth would be just as bad for your people as mine.”
“My people know everything,” the werewolf said without missing a beat.
There was a reason I didn’t try to best him with words. “You could try it, I suppose.”
“You know I won’t.”
“You killed my father. I think we can agree there’s no limit to what you’ll do.”
Sascha lowered his head.
I’d had enough interactions with him to recall that was a sign of submission, but the werewolf lifted his head again and took another step inside.
“Get out,” I snapped. “I mean it. The only time I want to see you is on the other side of a screen.”
The werewolf circled the table toward me. “The mating meets will continue.”
Incredulous laughter left my lips. “I fucking dare you to try.”
His eyes darkened, and my mouth shut with an audible click. Greyson loved nothing more than a challenge.
I’d learned that the hard way. “You’ve catalogued my scents, right? Then have a good whiff. I loathe you. The sight of you is repulsive. What nearly happened between us in the past revolts me. I find you and your kind vile in every way. I was a stupid girl who didn’t believe what a monster you really were. What a wake-up call. Get the fuck out and stop trying to ruin what’s left of my life.”
The Luther was carved from stone. Why couldn’t I be like that? Why was my breath shallow and erratic?
Why were my eyes burning?
Sascha lifted a hand to my face, and I reeled away.
“Touch me and I will do my best to murder you with my bare hands.” Icicles dripped from every word.
Shock coated his handsome features.
Seemed fitting that the worst monsters had the prettiest packaging.
“Hercules was wrong about one thing,” he said low and fast. “When the seven meets are done, you have a choice to decline me as a mate. I’ve scented you already. We’ve met gazes and touched, and my wolf captured you. There are three more meets. Then you’ll be free, and I won’t be driven to obey the meeting call. If you still don’t want me.”
If you still don’t want me.
“You’re incredible. How can I say this so you’ll understand? There is no possible future where I will not hate you. There will never be an us. I will never accept you.”
His eyes glittered. “Then there shouldn’t be a problem seeing it through to the end.”
“I don’t acknowledge rudimentary Luther rituals.” I gathered one of the filled boxes. “Close the door on the way out.”
A small growl built in his chest. “You’re moving to the manor for good.”
I didn’t answer.
The werewolf followed me down the stairs. Opening Ella F, I shoved the box in, glowering when Sascha slid the remaining three inside after.
His honey eyes bore into my face.
The rage I felt toward him was almost shocking in its intensity. I wouldn’t have thought myself capable of so much hate.
He inhaled.
Yeah, have a good sniff. That’s undying fury.
“Would it help if I told you how sorry I was?” he said quietly.
My brows shot up. “You killed someone and you’re sorry? Shit, that makes it all better.”
“I wasn’t talking about Hercules Thana. I won’t apologise for his death.”
My face slackened. “You’re truly a monster inside, aren’t you?”
“He intended to kill me. Do you know what my death would do to you?”
Ugh.
Considering Rhona had plans to tear Sascha Greyson apart, perhaps I should take notice of this. “What?”
“It would break you.”
Herc’s words came back to me. Your death won’t kill her.
“But my death would kill you,” I mused.
Sascha clenched his jaw. “You hate me that much?”
My upper lip curled. “I don’t hate myself that much. It is good to have the insurance with your killing tendencies.”
Black edged in on the honey. “He would have killed you too, Andie. Maybe not immediately, but in time, once he witnessed your reaction. I trust my wolf’s instincts implicitly. Hercules Thana was dangerous for you. Leaving him alive wasn’t an option. Not with the power he holds in this valley.”
I’d never wanted a protector. I never wanted any of this. “You’re doing so well looking after me, Sascha. Sign me up.”
He flinched. “I will prove myself to you. I will undo the hurt I’ve caused. I swear this to you.”
His hurt was a cool rain on the furious inferno filling my heart.
Nothing I said would get through to this beast.
His eyes searched my face. “You should know a mating call between a Luther and human is unusual. Unheard of in our pack and in others I’ve reached out to. So far as I can tell, you didn’t complete your side of the scent meet. I think it’s because you don’t possess the strength of our senses.”