“I heard voices in the street earlier that seemed to linger,” Mother said. “Was it Mrs. Solano? Was it Miss Stanton?”
“It was just some kids,” I said.
“But they didn’t hear you, did they?”
“Of course not.” She seemed to get more paranoid with every year, too. I really wasn’t sure if people shunned her because she was paranoid, or she was paranoid because people shunned her. It was hard to say when St. Augustine was such a tiny, old-fashioned town with a strict hierarchy.
She picked up the town newspaper. “Mrs. Solano is hosting her thirtieth annual Halloween party. Of course she hasn’t invited me in years. Not since Adam died, of course, and I guess she figured I can’t afford clothes for a costume ball anymore. That woman just assumes I wouldn’t be able to manage. I do have things I can sell.”
I hated it when I had to steer her away from grievances, but I was good at it. “These baby booties you’re making are too cute! I love this purple color. It’s not your usual.”
“I love this soft yarn,” Mother said gently, petting the booties.
I picked them up and slipped my fingers in them and kicked them like feet. “I bet it’s a cute baby too.”
“This baby isn’t born yet, but I’m sure she will be just precious. Oh, Jenny, is there more of this cake? It’s really very good. It has a perfect fall taste. Mrs. Amici’s orange trees fruit so early, I wonder what spells she uses…”
When I had spent some time with her and the cake was done, I went back to the kitchen and started a fish stew for dinner, and then I cleaned up all the dishes, scrubbing and scrubbing and bringing in a bucket from the well. Then I had a little time to read in the garden again before the sun went down. We always had secondhand books floating around that Mom picked up in the shop in town, and many of them were human books from the Fixed Plane about the dazzling lives of normal humans. They had technology that did astounding things, and they had wild romances, and they went on vacations to other countries. I would read until it was too dark, and then I would go inside and sweep and dust, and that was how every day went, and how every day had been, for the last twenty years.
Once in a while, but not very often, I noticed that I was a grown woman, but in the end, if a girl grows up and there is no one to see it, does she really grow up at all?
I dreamed of a man like I read about in those books, who would put strong arms around me and tell me he loved me more than anything in the world, but I knew that I was just a familiar, and this was the only life I would ever have.
Chapter Three
Jenny
One day I woke up and I felt a strange tingle in the air.
Something was different. I had no idea what the something was, but I sat in bed trying to figure out if it was something to worry about or not. It was a magic feeling, and magic feelings were often confusing. It felt like a corner had peeled up at the edges of the world and some odd light from another world was gleaming at the very corner of my vision. If I tried to actually see it, it was always eluding me. Yet, it was there, and after several minutes, even after I stepped out of bed and splashed water on my face, the tingling was still there.
I felt like I should go to the magical world. But I tried to shake it off.
Familiars were born alongside their wizard, and they stayed close to them when their wizard was little, helping them control their magic when they were babies and protecting them from harm, along with being their first companion. When a familiar’s wizard went to school, the familiar started spending more and more time in the magical world. We were like imaginary friends were to human children, except we were real. But it was still our destiny to step back as our wizards grew independent. In adulthood, the level of closeness a wizard had with their familiar was a very individual thing, but it was always very scaled back compared to childhood.
But Jenny died in Bernard’s first year of school, so that separation had never happened to me. If I dared to go to the magical world, Bernard and his mother would get very upset. Bernard would call for me to come back, and I would have to come back. Mom would sob and clutch me.
I never went there. Ever. I hadn’t been in years.
I was always needed too much here.
I should have been able to escape this place any time I wanted, but I never dared.
However, I also had a duty to protect my family, and if something was going on in the magical world, I really should see what it was. I made breakfast and then I thought I would just make whipped cream and berries for our tea today so I didn’t need to bother with the oven. Then I would have time to step out, just for a few minutes. Even better, it was Mother’s day to go to market so she left the house after breakfast and she wouldn’t notice.
It had been so long that I wondered if Bernard would sense me leaving the house. He was hundred of miles away serving the council up north, but he was a pretty sensitive and skilled warlock. I was always afraid of upsetting him, although I would be ashamed to admit I could be afraid of my own warlock. I was supposed to love him and protect him no matter what, and more than anything, I wanted to love and protect him. But wanting to love someone isn’t the same as loving someone.
I slipped into the magical world and found myself in a beautiful forest glade lit by golden light. A stream glittered in the sun, with rocks in interesting shapes forming the banks and little natural bridges to cross. Some of the rocks were gray, others speckled in mossy green colors, and some had a pinkish tint.
“Oh my, how lovely!” I had forgotten how beautiful Sinistral was, and I chased after a pair of butterflies dancing toward a path that led into the woods.
Was Sinistral really this beautiful? I just don’t remember so much sunshine and color here. I remember crows and locusts and wolves and all the sorts of creatures that humans don’t like…
Butterflies?
Has Sinistral changed?
I shouldn’t be here. I couldn’t get distracted.
As soon as I stepped down the path, the feeling of uncertainty grew. The forest seemed so lush and alive with birdsong and wildflowers. The creek twisted through the forest near the path. The very air smelled pure and sweet.
Could I be in Etherium? That’s impossible. Bernard was initiated into Sinistral, and there is rarely any going back from that…besides, if he did manage to change his magical affiliation, I would know.
I should have gone back right that moment, but I kept walking, my heart beating with increasing excitement, and the smell of the forest and the sun on my skin, filtered through the green forest, was just so wonderful. I felt more alive than I had in memory.
A small house came into view, and in front of the house, I saw a handsome man, leaning one arm in the doorway, surveying the little garden in the front yard while small animals were eating greens and peas.
“Maybe some of you should go forage,” he said. “You’re going to eat my whole garden by tomorrow.” He looked up and saw me, although I was still somewhat hidden behind the curve of the path.
“Another one?” He beckoned me with his hand. “Well, don’t be shy. What’s one more, at this point…”
What on earth is going on?
“I can’t stay,” I said. “I don’t belong here. This was a mistake, I think.”